30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group

I woke up one night. Saw a hand on my pillow. Started to freak out, froze. Waited. Decided I'd move. Screamed and jumped when the hand moved.

It was my hand.

Let's see, where to start.

I once killed a pint of vodka, straight, on a dare. Spent the rest of the night ralphing.

I fell for a prank of laying a stick across a shovel handle and then stomping the shovel spade to see how high the stick would go.

I had my windshield tinted to 5% on my car.

I sent a Nairobi prince some cash so I'd get a big return. I really did.

I voted for Ross Perot in '92.

I volunteered for several things in boot camp without knowing what they were.

I rear ended a cop car. During the questioning, I got the involuntary giggles and when the cop asked if I thought it was funny, I said "Yes."

In little league, I chased a ball under the bleachers from the back side. Imagine running fast as the bleacher seats get lower and lower. Cracked my head open.

Hit on a starting linebacker's girlfriend at a frat party. I even knew it was his girlfriend.

Noticed my "low oil pressure" light on in the car; decided I could make it to the next exit 10 miles away.

Took bowling as a HYPERS class in college. Cheated on the final exam and got caught.

Decided to jump in the water to p**s; left the boat in gear.

Spent a half hour trying to pick up a quarter someone had super glued to a sidewalk.

I'm really not as dumb as all this sounds. I'm just...impulsive.

Late for work, running around the house looking for my keys. Ran upstairs, saw them on the desk, pointed at them and said to the air, "There they are." I was nearly to the front door before I realized I didn't actually pick them up.

The girl of my dreams came back to my place after dinner and drinks, we had been friends for a long time but never a hint of anything more.

I was in a sleeping bag, on the floor. She told me "Hey, you can jump up under the quilt to get warm" and my response was "Oh, this sleeping bag is really warm!"

It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done.

...Wow. Thinking about this makes me really depressed :(

I once started talking s**t about a friend who I'd forgotten we had just picked up and was sitting in the backseat of the car. This one still keeps me up at night.

One of my ex's and I met in the city. We always went on dates in the city and never close to where we lived. I had just moved to the area, I had heard of the place he lived in but didn't think it was close to where I lived, and never really thought about it. Then I started staying over at his place, and when I was going home the following afternoons I would take the tram into city centre (~20 minutes) and then get the bus to my house (another ~40 minutes). I honestly thought the village he lived in was far from my house so I took the route I knew. Turns out he lives a 10 minute walk away. I did this like 8 times.

I stapled my finger to see if stapling my finger was possible. can confirm, it is.

Opened up a carton of orange juice and noticed it said shake well before use. Proceeded to violently shake the holy hell out of the carton as it rained vitamin C goodness over the kitchen and me. Housemate walked in and asked "what the f**k is wrong with you?" as if I'd done it on purpose and was thorougly enjoying my OJ shower

I work as a substitute middle school teacher. At the beginning of each day the kids listen to the announcements. One time they announced that one of the students who had been battling cancer passed away the night before.

So me, being the great guy I am, give the students five minutes of time to sit quietly and reflect. Then I decide to lighten the mood by calling attendance, so I use a bizarre inflection to entertain the students.

Called out "Tyler?", no response. Call it out again, no response. Finally one student piped up and said that was the kid that died the day before.

This was after I called his name out several times with differing tones of voice to be comical, while all the students saw was me bashing the dead kid. F**k.

Barber while cutting my hair asks ''what do you do for a living?". I replied "I'm an accountant. You?"

One time I went through the drive thru at Dunkin donuts and stopped at the trash can instead of the speaker for about 5-8 minutes repeatedly saying "hello?"

I asked my friend if he had got his car back from the garage while we were sitting in it...I am not a smart man.

Back to girls house after dinner. She has early class the next day so gets ready for bed, but says I can stay and keep her company for a while.

Laying in her bed, she's in silk pajamas, I'm fully clothed. We're just talking. I start running my hand up and down her back. She says "mmmm.... you'd better stop that, I'm getting turned on"

So I stopped.

Like a F*****g idiot.

I put an umbrella handle in my mouth and pushed the button to release the umbrella.

I thought the umbrella would shoot out the front of my mouth and open. Instead the handle extended back into my mouth and broke my front teeth.

No idea why I thought that.

Called my girlfriend a "big girl" for finishing her dinner.

Not me, but a friend of mine was dead serious and asked why don't wheelchairs have pedals for when your arms get tired.

Friend came to my house. Knocked on my door. When I answered it I was greeted with "Hey are you home?"

Unable to find my phone, in a complete state of panic, sending my friend a text asking

"Dude, did I leave my phone at your place? I can't find it anywhere!".

He replied "... what are you using to send this text, genius?"

I have never, in my life, been so ashamed.

*EDIT :* To clarify, this was quite a few years ago, before smartphones and Google Voice. We're talking some of the first color-screen Nokias here.

I was riding my bike and wondered what would happen if I stuck my feet in the spokes of my front tire.

Answer: Flipped over the handle bars, broke my two front teeth and road rash on half my face.

When I was younger I got kicked out of ballet class because I kept running into the mirrors thinking they were open windows or like portals to another world or something.