Are you getting bored being cooped up for COVID on a long weekend?
Feel like the walls are closing in on you?
Try this recipe to add excitement and help you look at those walls closer than you ever thought possible.
1) Knock a can of coke from the shelf in the fridge.
Make sure it is on the top shelf to maximize velocity.
2) Have it hit the freezer door at the bottom of your fridge to puncture the can and provide a solid rotational spin. Make sure the puncture is not too big, so you get a finer mist with more range.
This is important for a varied and unpredictable spray coverage inside your fridge, past your dishwasher and to the doorway of your kitchen.
3) As the pop can settles to the floor with a frenzied spinning action, you will get a nice coverage for more bottom cupboards and beautifully elegant spray effect up to the top cupboards (though you may not notice this addition for a few days).
This accenting in always a welcome addition to lighter coloured, creamy kitchens.
4) When you decide, you don’t need any more accents, feel free to leap frantically for the can and attempt to stand while covering the spray with your hand. This will not work. It will however change the spray into shorter range globs with a lot more colour punch.
5) At this stage I like to set my pop can outside to spray harmlessly on the deck, and often forget the coiled extension cords puled under the patio table.
6) Now as the rest of lunch slowly starts burning, you are free review the sticky-sweet devastation. I usually go with paper towels for floor clean up, but it is all personal choice. Don’t worry about finding it all – your socks will let you know when you miss a spot or two.
7) For this part of the fun, you may want to involve your spouse. It is a great game of “Where did the Spray go?” Larger areas of clean up are easy. You will be amazed at the range and varied areas of spray that you can find for days. You have to find it first though. Because if your spouse finds it first, you will hear a sigh, and may even get “The Look.”
8) As you clean, you can step on the carpet by the door, previously, and foolishly, thought to be clean. You can then retrack the stick spots of love back on the now clean floor. As you wonder why your slipper is sticky, it will dawn on you, then you can picture the rewashing work in store for you. Some people go with a nice primal scream, while others choose a more guttural groan. Choice is yours.
9) Throw the rug outside on the deck. Yes, it rained earlier, but will need to hose it off anyway. Surprise, under the rug is more bonus spray for clean up!
10) Rewash the floor – one wipe down did not do the job anyway.
11) Continue the “Find the Spray” game – don’t forget under the dishwash handle, and on the backside of the drawer handles. This stickiness will haunt your nightmares and reveal itself as PTSD when you touch a slightly sticky handle at your in-law’s house 2 years from now.
12) The dog is in the way, and threatens to track stick, syrupy cola love back to the living room. Put her outside for now.
13) As you and your spouse joyfully examine cupboards, you can play games to heighten the romantic mood, as your lack of timely lunch begins to take hold.
“Is that spot cola spray too?”
“How did it get way over here?”
“Is this a new mark or an old spaghetti stain?”
“Are you kidding me? There, too?”
14) As you wipe the glass door to the deck and try to get cola out of tracks, you can now enter the advanced level of fun.
The dog you let outside previously did not want to lay in the wet grass of the morning rain. Instead, she is thrilled with the nice soft rug, soaked in cola, that you set outside!
15) Feel free to chase the dog off the rug, look for a place to fling the infernal thing (rug, not dog).
16) Depending on your type of dog, length of fur, and saturation of the rug, you may be able to wipe her with a damp rag, or you can go for a full dog bathing experience for more family bonding. At least she won’t dry too quickly with the thunderstorm starting to roll in. (Bonus points if you have already recently washed your dog due to the skunk-incident of July, 2020)
17) There! You’ve killed the boredom of a summer afternoon and gotten to hate the beautiful grooves of your cupboards and drawers.
Mission accomplished.
Unless, you think that outside can may have sprayed up under the patio table and on the extension cords too?
After Cola cleanup.
