In the late 15th century, in the heart of Yemen, the first use of coffee as we know it was documented. It was used by Sufi monasteries and was to be imbibed as a form of spiritual intoxication. While its status as a symbol of wealth is, thankfully, long gone, the spiritual intoxication part remains. And you know what else, besides coffee, might give a person a certain spiritual intoxication? A pun! And what do you get when you mix these two ethereal things together? A coffee pun! And that’s exactly our topic of the day, so brew yourself a cup of moonless midnight and check out the beverage puns below.
As with anything in life, there are always two kinds of people - those who shower in the morning and those who shower at night. Then there are those who squirt ketchup straight on fries and the other kind who dip them. There, of course, are people that choose tea instead of coffee, but in our opinion, they just don’t know what they’re missing. Also, don’t forget the division between pun-lovers and pun-haters! A fierce competition of proving they’re right between those two! However, with our silly puns article, we hope to unite all these groups in one shared gale of laughter. Just a simple wish, truly.
Yet, if wishes were horses, I’d be drinking coffee now, so let’s just skip right to the cute puns here. The beans have already been spilled, so all you have to do now is check them out for yourself! As per usual, don’t forget to vote for the best coffee puns and share this article with your caffeinated compadres.
#1

What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song?
Hit Me With your Best Shot!
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#2
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before?
Déja-brew.
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#3
What’s a coffee’s favorite spell?
Espresso Patronum!
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#4

Why did the coffee call the police?
Because it was mugged.
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#5
"Every morning I have a dangerous cup of coffee, but I make sure I have safe tea first."
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#6
"Someone stole my coffee cup from the office today, so I'm just on my way down to the police station to look at some mug shots."
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#7

What do you call a bear that makes coffee?
A bearista.
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#8
What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married?
We’re meant to bean together!
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#9
How did Henry VIII like his coffee?
Decap.
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#10

What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee?
Their friendship came to a bitter end.
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#11
How is divorce like espresso?
It’s bitter and expensive.
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#12
A cup of coffee that gets up on the wrong side of the bed is called a despresso.
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#13

How does Moses make coffee?
He-brews it.
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#14
"My coffee tasted like mud this morning, but when I asked the barista why that may be she said it was only ground a few minutes ago."
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#15
The barista can be really rude sometimes: he doesn't have a filter.
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#16

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
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#17
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee?
I don’t know, but that’s certainly grounds for divorce!
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#18
What’s the highest-charting holiday Christmas song in U.S.?
All I Want For Christmas Is Brew.
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#19

Why can’t you submit your work on time?
Because you keep procaffeinating.
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#20
If you ever serve me a cold cup of coffee, I will be boiling mad!
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