People Share 50 Of The Clearest Cases Of "Living In Denial" That They've Witnessed

My mom has been a smoker for 40 years. She was diagnosed with COPD. Goods news is she can spend $400 a month on an inhaler that makes her feel better. No need to give up smoking, clearly.

Me, when I thought I could help my mom and that it was my job to make her happier. She screwed up her life and made every choice that got her where she is today, and continues to make poor choices all the time. It took years and years for me to realize there's nothing I can do except call her occasionally and say I love you, and it's not my fault she lives the way she does. 

Got a friend.  He's in his fifties, makes next to minimum wage.  Drinks and eats too much. He and his gf (late sixties) live with a mutual friend.

They're "discussing" adopting a child. 

Someone who has severe hearing loss but insists the reason he has to say “What?” all the time is because everyone (EVERYONE) mumbles.

My family when my mom was diagnosed with a hereditary, incurable, no survival rate over 4 years cancer. We all thought she’d be the one to beat it, she was gone within a year at 55yo. No amount of good diet, exercise, education can beat bad genes and life’s unfairness. The facts were there, it was still like a freight train hit us.

My elderly friend who has fallen 4 times already breaking 2 ribs once, a wrist once, and bruised up the other times. He still refuses to use a cane out of some male pride thing. He can’t understand that we all age, and if he keeps falling he will end up with a broken hip and bedridden and miserable.

My older sister (39), having 4 kids, living in my parents house without paying rent since she got pregnant the first time with 17, her oldest was practically raised by my parents. Recieving much financial and emotional support through the years by our parents.
She is saying she never recieves any help by our parents, that she doesn't feel welcome at home anymore and that our younger sister and I are favored.

A former friend of mine comes to mind. She lives with her husband, 3 kids and mother. The total household income is only 2 grand a month. Rent is 1500. They are 3 months behind on rent. She says it's ok they won't get evicted....oh and the reason for being so far behind is they bought a second car even though they absolutely cannot afford and definitely don't need it. Glamor photos at 600 a pop for her. Getting nails and hair dyed at the salon once a month. She has no idea how screwed they all are. I feel so bad for the kids

My dismissive avoidant mom was a master of denial. The worst was when she got an abscess in her pelvic area. She was in 10/10 pain, couldn't sit up, was literally white knuckling a body pillow while laying on the couch unable to move for A WEEK and when I (age 10) would suggest she go to a doctor it was all "Oh no no I'm totally fine! I don't need to see a doctor."

This woman literally scheduled an appointment with a specialist and WAITED THE 10ish DAYS for the appointment instead of going to urgent care. She drove herself there in 10/10 pain. The doctor took one look at her and told her to put on a gown and meet her downstairs for immediate surgery. They drained so much yuck from her and she had to have the gauze packing to heal the crater left behind etc. It's a miracle she didn't get sepsis.

Bonus story: she suddenly became allergic to ibuprofen in her 40s and turned beet red after taking some. Instead of going to the doctor she went to her hair appointment like normal. Hairdresser refused to cut her hair and made her to go the doctor. My mom just went home instead and laid on the couch huffing and puffing until the reaction went away. She told me this story like it was a totally sane and normal thing to do.

My mother and father divorced 26 years ago. It was a toxic marriage and probably for the best that they part ways.

Since then she has been remarried and is happy with her new husband. We all get along and my parents get along for the sake of visits and being around grandkids.

To this day my father wants to get back together with my mother. I don’t blame him there if he still loves her but the denial part is he thinks he did nothing wrong in the marriage. He is under the impression that he was the perfect husband and he is doing her a “favor” by taking her back if she did come back. The reality is he did not treat her well, she left and is now with someone who makes her happy.

Nurse who thought the lump in her breast was nothing important and the open sore appearing was also nothing important and once it started draining thought it was nothing important despite dressing it daily. Was confronted by coworkers after the smell became so rank it lingered where she went. Stage IV cancer with mets to bones and brain. Died soon after.

She was the manager of the oncology unit.

*Editing to add - because I must not have been clear and a lot of people see this as an autonomous choice:*

*This was a case of ‘living in denial’. Once confronted about her odor she admitted to the sore but still thought it was nothing. Agreed to go to the ED with colleague/friend but only to reassure them. Oncologist consulted in the ED and she lost it when cancer mentioned. Insisted on everything done to treat despite no hope. Died within the month. Never left hospital from time confronted about odor.*

I know a guy who tested positive for HIV about 11 years ago. He pretended it didn't happen and did nothing about it. Today he is dying of AIDS. He's not even 40. So sad.

Friends mom constantly let's her 15 year old son chug massive amounts of soda, stay up until 3am on school nights playing video games, and shrug off homework assignments. He's getting straight D's and is overweight for his age but the mom refuses to do anything about it because she's a "good mother" in her words and her older child(my friend) is ungrateful. My friend got out when he was 17 because of his mothers massive narcissism and control freak tendencies towards every aspect of his life.

Unfortunately my grandfather. Both 96, grandmother has severe dementia, can’t get out of a wheelchair, in constant agony and barely knows who anyone is. Just sits there occasionally coming out with a memory from her life irrelevant to current conversation but at least she’s not angry or that type of cognitive decline. Grandpa is nearly blind, legs barely work, but his mind is sharp as a tack. He was an army man, and he CANNOT accept reality or the situation at hand. He refuses help beyond a carer coming in a couple times a week.

My grandma will wet herself because he can’t help her the toilet, he almost burned the house down the other day if it weren’t for my mom happening by to see them and rescue the house from the flames from his attempt at cooking. He can’t even think of his poor wife because he himself is bad enough, it’s almost abuse by neglect. We don’t know what to do. We want him to get a live in carer, but he goes off on one and cries and manipulates his children into getting his way. He would die before going into a home, and at this rate he’s going to kill them both accidentally but really what can you do when someone is so stubborn. It’s got to be hell to experience, but his sheer refusal to look reality in the face is heartbreaking to watch. I feel like the grandparents I loved died long ago, I’m just watching the echo of their lives playing out in tragedy.

If I ever get like that just take me outside, face me at the sunrise and put a bullet in the back of my head, nobody deserves to die with such little dignity.

My mother (now deceased) refused to wear glasses because she hated how they looked on her. Instead, she insisted her eyesight was "not that bad" and the fact we had to read menus to her at restaurants was just a cute quirk.

A girl I went to school with, we where on friendly terms many years after school, never got a job and still lives on govermental pay. She first got one child, moved from place to place because she got evicted due to lack of rent. Blew of all her money on c**p the moment she got them. CPS placed the child in permanent foster care. And she repeated the same with two other children. She is now 40, none of her 3 children have any relationship to her, she still get evicted all the time, still blows her money on c**p. And still thinks she is fine, she is a good mother and all her issues is everyone elses fault. All in all very sad.

My father is totally against universal health care. Part of his reason is the potential "wait times" to get procedures done. He needs to get cortisone shots in his neck. Even with insurance he can't afford the shots regularly. So he has to wait like six months at a time to save up money for his shots.

my dad having married a man and then turning around to beat my a*s because i said i was bi.

My mom is now 63 years old and has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis since she was in her early 30's. Had 4 children after 30 and declined every pregnancy. She denied she had any diagnosis and went to every chiropractor, Chinese healer, therapist and naturopath in the area. Even tried acupuncture and magnets. She spent over 100,000$ trying to cure her chronic pain that Healthcare in my country would have done for free.

She spent the last 4 years after I moved out at 18 basically only going from her chair to the bathroom, didn't even sleep in her bedroom anymore because she was in too much pain. Her feet were swollen and fingers are all crooked due to the arthritis, eventually developed bed sores due to not moving from her chair, we had to basically carry her to the bathroom, when she stood up she bled so bad from her wounds it sounded like a dam rushing free. I'll never forget stooping my little brother from cleaning her blood up off the floor and telling him to go to his room seeing the despair in his face.

But she absolutely refused to admit anything was wrong, she was convinced she just had to find that magic cure. She eventually got so bad I was convinced she was going to die any day now so my brothers and I convinced her to go to the hospital, she accepted and said she'd go the end of the week. She declined so badly that day I had to call an ambulance because she couldn't get off the toilet and was bleeding so bad. I'll never forget cleaning the blood up and helping her change her clothes into her favourite dress because she didn't want to look bad in front of the paramedics.

The hospital diagnosed her once again with arthritis, but also severe iron deficiency, 2 wounds that were 10cm deep, ptsd, and a bacterial infection that could have killed her. She would have died within a week if she hadn't gone. She spent 6 months in the hospital, 4 of them couldn't feed herself so I would go everyday to give her dinner, she was moved to a care home and is still unable to walk but can feed herself now. She still won't admit out loud that she has arthritis, but is much happier and loves living where she is.

My mom refusing to say the word “cancer” when I have stage 4 cancer and am in a clinical trial at Sloan Kettering. “You didn’t have cancer!” Aint more cancer than that.