Family looks out for each other. Unless someone decides that blood ties guarantee them a free discount.
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Airbnb host and Reddit user Vagimite2000 has found herself in a particularly frustrating situation. Her sister, suddenly very interested in a long-standing local motorcycle rally, decided she wanted to stay in her rental property during the peak of the tourist season. Only, she wasn’t willing to pay the price.
In fact, her demands kept escalating, eventually even telling her sibling that she needed to be paid for her visit.
Some sibling relationships remain difficult even when they grow up
Image credits: tonodiaz / Envato (not the actual photo)
And this story shows how it can manifest in people’s everyday lives
Image credits: Planet Volumes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: vagimite2000
Siblings often struggle to get along, even in adulthood
The problem here appears to be deeper than mere vacation accommodation. “Many adults figure out how to get along with their brothers and sisters by the time they reach adulthood,” says Dr. Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of Adult Sibling Relationships. “[But] many do not.”
“Love and support often characterize families, and they characterize how siblings get along ... But resentment, miscommunication, and maladaptive family interaction patterns handed down from one generation to the next also characterize some families. History may be prologued. Those patterns are often reified in the present. They live on as family and personal narratives, and they affect and infect future generations,” Greif explains.
According to him, mixed feelings are common and are okay to have — people shouldn't sweat them.
The key is the bigger picture
Image credits: Esra Korkmaz / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“A sibling can be loved, admired, and honored and still raise red flags,” Greif says. “Life is not monochromatic. Events in the past—harsh words, exclusion, hurtful actions—may haunt the current relationship but can be accepted as part of a lifelong landscape with its expected highs and lows.”
With a million interactions between adult siblings, some are bound to misfire, especially when dealing with difficult topics, such as aging parents, divorce, or serious illness.
“If people expect to only and always feel affection, they are walking a path of potential disappointment and self-recrimination,” the professor adds.
Why did my brother or sister marry that jerk? How can they be so nice to our mom after what she has done to us? Why have they moved away? Stopped communicating? Voted for that candidate? Greif says people might fail to answer these questions not just in the moment, but over the long run too.
So before we condemn the Redditor’s sister, let’s ask ourselves: Is trying to use your sibling’s property that unreasonable? Sure, it sounds like the woman has crossed a line (or two) in the way she went about it. But if this issue is just one part of their relationship, perhaps she can just be told off and called on a different occasion?
As her post went viral, the woman provided more information on the differences between her and her sister
People thought the sister needs to come back to her senses if she wants any favors at all
