Chinese content creator and language teacher Linglong Chen recently went viral for speaking up about the social stigma that comes with being a 35-year-old unmarried woman.
The teacher told her 300,000 followers that her mother had gone as far as to try to set her up with a man over 50.
While Chen was well aware of how Chinese culture often frowns upon women who remain unmarried beyond their late twenties, to the point that they are labeled “leftover women,” she simply did not expect the same treatment from her parents, and it broke her heart.
Highlights
- Chinese content creator Linglong Chen shared that her mother tried to set her up with a man over 50 because she is still unmarried at 35.
- Chen said that many women in China are treated the same way and have been labeled as “leftover women.”
- The moniker gained popularity in the late 2000s as the percentage of unmarried women between 30 and 34 started rising.
“Is being single at 35 some kind of failure?” she said in the video, which has amassed nearly 2 million views.
Linglong Chen opened up about China’s “leftover women” label after feeling hurt over her mother’s matchmaking efforts
On August 10, 2026, a visibly emotional Linglong Chen shared a video on social media, revealing that she just had a huge disagreement with her mother over her single status.
“Is 35 really too old?” she said.
“I just had a big fight with my mom because she wanted to set me up with someone who is over 50.”
“My mom is 55, so basically she wanted me to meet with someone who is almost as old as her, if not older,” Chen added.
“Honestly, I felt really hurt, because as a 35-year-old single woman living in China, I already know what people can think about women of my age.”
“There’s even a word for us—sheng nü—which means ‘leftover women.’”
“But I don’t see myself that way. I think I am smart, independent, I work really hard, I have my own career, and a life that I have built and enjoy.”
Chen said she refuses to give in to “society’s clock” and settle for the wrong life partner
Chen continued that while she has not given up on finding her life partner, her previous relationships have taught her that being with the wrong person can make one “much more unhappy than being alone.”
“I’m still open to love, but I don’t want to choose someone because I’m scared to be alone. I would rather be single than let fear choose my life for me,” she said.
She said she has tried to remain firm in her convictions despite societal pressures, but confessed it becomes an emotionally exhausting task when one’s own parents do not offer support.
“I try not to let anxiety or society’s clock tell me that I’m running out of time, but I want my own parents to be by my side,” she said.
“I want them to look at me and think, ‘This is my daughter. She has value. She deserves someone who is actually right for her.’”
“I know being 30+ and single and dealing with all the pressure that comes with it is something many women can relate to,” she wrote in the caption.
Despite her followers supporting her, not everyone was on Chen’s side
As Chen’s video gained traction, hundreds of users showed their support, blasting the “hurtful” label of “leftover women.”
“The ‘leftover women’ label is just meant to guilt trip you into settling for any man that comes along. Don’t fall for it, babes,” one person said.
Another wrote, “The fact that you didn’t succumb to your family’s and society’s expectations of how to live your life already proves you’re mentally and emotionally strong. Live by your rules.”
“I got married to someone who was 50 at 36. Don't do it…” a third warned. A fourth said, “Don’t fall for this pressure to get married. Life isn’t perfect, but you can’t be pressured.”
However, a handful of naysayers also weighed in.
“You don’t wanna be 50 and alone. Your career doesn’t bring fulfillment. Family does. This doesn’t mean [you have] to stress about it. It means to be open,” one person commented.
The percentage of unmarried Chinese women has significantly risen since 2005
Added to the Chinese lexicon in 2007 and popularized by the All-China Women's Federation, the derogatory term sheng nü quickly became a powerful media phenomenon.
Chinese newspapers, magazines, and television programs frequently portrayed sheng nü as women who had become educated, career-focused, self-dependent, and more selective in finding husbands than the culture was used to.
With early-age marriage being prevalent in China’s past, until 2005, only 2% of women aged between 30 and 34 were single, according to the national census. In contrast, in 2010, 7.4% of them were unmarried.
The census also said the average age of first marriage rose from 24.89 in 2010 to 28.67 in 2020, and has continued to rise since. A 2021 Youth League survey of some 2,900 unmarried urban young people found that 44% of women do not plan to marry.
But the statistics do not always reflect the worries the label's potential disrepute brings.
In a 2013 survey of 900 female university graduates across 17 Chinese universities, approximately 70% of those surveyed said “their greatest fear” was becoming a sheng nü woman.
"Walk at your pace." Netizens showered support on Linglong Chen as she opened up on cultural pressure for marriage
