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45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Relationships,FamilyJUN 1, 2024

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”

Shelly Fourer
Jonas Grinevičius
Shelly Fourer and Jonas Grinevičius
107
41
What’s ‘normal’ for you and your family or us might be completely weird for someone else. And vice versa! That ‘someone’ might live nearby in your neighborhood. But the way their relatives behave at home might be completely at odds with your own experience. Whether for good or ill.
Inspired by user u/itsbilliebrown, the members of the popular r/AskAnAustralian online group opened up about their childhood experiences. They revealed what traditions and behaviors they thought were completely normal, only to later realize other households did things very differently. Read on for their candid stories, ranging from the hilarious to the heartbreaking.

#1

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Its not necessarily "not normal" as a lot of people have it.
But i didnt realise for awhile that not *everyone* has 2 loving parents who still love each other.
i was blessed in this way.
Ok_Anteater7360, Chino Rocha
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260points

#2

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Having an abusive alcoholic father. I seriously thought all men were like that.
Story time:
I remember a moment when I was 13 years old and I was at a party of my dad’s friend. I didn’t know anyone there except my dad. I wanted to go home because it was late and I was tired. My dad was drinking heavily as usual and said we’re sleeping there and to go to sleep on their couch and that was that. I was very upset and just wanted to sleep in my own bed and not in a strangers house. I started crying while I was trying to fall asleep and one of my dad’s friend’s sons who was in his 20’s came up to me and asked if I was okay and if I needed anything. I explained that I wanted to go home and I felt uncomfortable sleeping there. He listened and acknowledged my feelings. He offered to play a song on his guitar to lighten my mood. I gladly accepted. Then he left me alone once I assured him I was okay. I fell asleep after that.
While at first I was a little nervous to talk to a strange man in a strangers house, I was honestly shocked that he was being so nice and not dismissing my feelings. I genuinely didn’t think men were like this. That man was nicer to me in that moment than my father had ever been. I’m really grateful for him because he really changed my perspective on men at such a crucial time in my life.
Plastic_Watch_9285, Josh Willink
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239points

#3

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Pre bedtime cup of tea. Every night around 9pm we all will sat back down at the dining table and drink tea in proper tea set. My dad will also sometimes cut up a baguette and we will have it with butter and jam dipped in tea, otherwise whatever cookies/snacks around.
I used to really enjoy this time, its like a lot calmer dinner time. After tea time then we all will go to bed. Only realise its not a thing when i moved out.
Glum-Row-6227, Drew Jemmett
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222points

According to NCHS, family traditions form a strong foundation and give kids a sense of stability and predictability. These traditions make children feel connected with their families and like they belong. The result is that they grow up with a stronger sense of identity, higher self-esteem, and overall better mental health.

Probably the best way to get a sense of what society considers ‘normal’ is to spend more time around other people. If you went to your friends’ homes after school or had sleepovers, then you probably noticed how awkward everything can be. It’s very likely that their parents had different routines, rituals, and ways of talking to each other. Some things feel… slightly ‘off.’

#4

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
That some kids couldn't tell if there was a problem the second they woke up.
There is a feeling, a "vibe" when dad was in a mood. The quiet is very particular.
Spiral-knight, Jp Valery
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188points

#5

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Being told no to everything like going over to a friend's house. It got to the point I didn't bother asking anymore. Both my parents have since died and, whilst cleaning out the family home, I found a letter from my primary school expressing concern that I had no deep connection to any kids in the school and that it was unusual that a kid my age (8) didn't have at least one close friend.
Scissorbreaksarock, Mikhail Nilov
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166points

#6

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
My mum baked a lot and I often had "unusual" cakes/pastries (apple strudel, bee sting cake) at recess at school. Other kids would want to try some and whenever friends came over my mum would serve cake or make scones for afternoon tea and put some chips in a bowl. Everyone was like "omg that cake your mum made was so good!"
But for me home made cake and baked goods were just the norm. Probably a very European thing, but no one else's mum did that!
Armadillocat42, Life Of Pix
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157points

Similarly, your friends probably thought the same thing when they came over to your own place. When we’re stuck in our comfort zones and routines, we hardly ever consider that other folks might live very differently from us. What’s ‘normal’ for us is simply what we’re used to. It’s what we see every day.

When we step outside our family or social bubble, we realize that life is very paradoxical. On the one hand, everyone’s daily lives can be quite different from what we’re used to. On the other hand, many things remain fundamentally the same. No matter what part of the world you live in, what your culture and background is, you’re still a human being. We tend to have lots in common, once we move past our superficial differences. Our traditions might be different, but at their core lies our love for our family members.

#7

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Having cereal for dinner.
I grew up with divorced parents, and lived with my single Dad. At the time he was a full time uni student and also trying to work full time as an office assistant, didn’t have much money nor a lot of time to go proper grocery shopping or cook. Almost every night dinner was a bowl of cereal, with the exception of “special occasions” where we would either walk to the local McDonalds for a happy meal or get a dominoes pizza delivered.
Wasn’t till I was about 11 years old at my first sleep over at a friends house where his parents called us for dinner, I was expecting to see a bowl of cereal on the table, but was massively confused at this meat and veg dinner that was in front of me. I remember going home thinking their dinner was weird.
Wasn’t till I was about 16 once dad graduated uni and got a job at a law firm and actually had money and time do go shopping and cook and therefore started making us “normal dinners”, that I realised cereal for dinner was not normal.
maxfaulkner, Binyamin Mellish
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143points

#8

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Being able to sleep anywhere, with any level of noise.
My Dad was in a covers duo, and on Fri and Sat nights he would take us kids to his gigs and we would find somewhere to curl up and sleep once it hit about 9pm. Usually under a table, or in some padded chairs. He was never organised enough to actually PLAN to have us there, but we worked it out, and I can't say I hated it.
He also played golf at least 3 afternoons a week and would leave us at the clubhouse while he played 9-18 holes. We did our homework, played in the clubhouse, built sandcastles in the sandtrap near the clubhouse (when no-one was playing onto that green), and learned to putt like demons.
He's bloody lucky we were such good kids. There was a LOT of inattention paid, so we could have gotten up to some real mischief. But we didn't. :)
learningbythesea, Kinga Howard
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128points

#9

The five of us talking about state of the art new developments in science at the dinner table.
Turbulent-Name-8349
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114points

The exact traditions you foster aren’t as important as the fact that you have some traditions in the first place. They can be something as simple as eating dinner together every Sunday or entirely silly like doing a talent contest on the same day every year. They can be taken from earlier generations of your family or created from scratch to fit your life better. It’s also a lot of fun if you involve your children in creating these traditions. After all, they’re going to be a part of them (hopefully) their entire lives.

What are your favorite family traditions, dear Pandas? What did you think was ‘normal’ in your home, only to realize how bizarre it was later down the line? How different was the daily life in your friends’ homes? If you’re feeling up to it, share your thoughts in the comment section at the bottom of this post.

#10

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Slaps in public and when friends were over. My family was the only family I knew that regularly hit us as kids, most other kids had been occasionally slapped or smacked, but *really* infrequently. We sometimes got slapped at school gatherings and other parents always looked horrified.
IIIlllIIIlllIlI, cottonbro studio
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108points

#11

Being told "no" all the time. Not being able to talk at the dinner table, when visiting grandparents, other relatives houses ("sit there and be quiet"). It was bad enough I was never spoken to otherwise. Mine took "children should be seen and not heard" to a another level.
Being on edge all the time wondering when either I ne of my parents were going to unleash their explosive behaviour. Not being able to gave a joke with my parents without them thinking it was disrespectful - visiting other friends' houses as a teen I was jealous of the way they interacted with their parents, laughing and making jokes.
I could never have an opinion, could never h ave a discussion about any topic without being called names.
Even now I find it hard to have a conversation with any one new that I meet.
When my sister divorced (her kids were 1 and 5) they would rather see her destitute than help - and I don't mean financially. I see at my kids's school grandparents who are involved and help by babysitting whilst the parents go to work. Mine didn't help her so she could work, however my father financially helped his deadbeat leech of a brother. He also gave a car to my gambling aunty (mum's sister). But no help for my sister. She managed to get through though....
Could go on......
GoodPen1278
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108points

#12

A kind loving family that looked out for eachother. No toxicity, no drama, no b******t.
fabs0184
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104points

#13

My mother “stonewalling” us everytime she was angry or upset with us.
I thought this was normal behaviour and it has affected my ability to have healthy relationships because I never really learned how to have difficult conversations, I just shut down everytime something is upsetting or feels too hard.
beers_n_bags
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101points

#14

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
When I was young (8 and under) my house always had a particular smell. And only one of my friend’s houses smelled just like mine did.
Fast forward to being a teenager: weed. My house always smelled like weed when my father was around 🤣.
Roma_lolly, Aubrey Odom
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99points

#15

Having a pet kangaroo who slept on the bed and ate with the dogs. She also wore a cat collar.
thepeainthepod
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98points

#16

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Having zombies in the hall, sleepy zombies who we were never allowed to touch or they would wake up and eat our brains . . . Turns out they were homeless junkies , good call mom.
Soft_Eggplant9132, Clay LeConey
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95points

#17

Complaints whenever i would ask to be driven somewhere or dropped off at a friends house. my siblings whine and argue or make up a lie to make sure they will never drive me anywhere and i have to get to places on my own no matter how difficult it is by public transport.
then when i was 16 i was at a friend’s house and said i’ll catch a bus home. he refused, asked his brother once and he immediately said “yeah sure. when do you want to leave”
happened again at another friend’s house, then another, everyone was so chill and i began to realise it’s just my siblings.
uhhh_yeh
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92points

#18

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
Getting belted regularly for little things like forgetting to vacuum. Raising my siblings. First jobs, giving all but bus money to help with family. My mother had me convinced that, as the oldest, it was my responsibility to look after them when they retire. I was about 14 when I found out that was a lie lol.
clumsyglammagrandma, Sofía Marquet
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91points

#19

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
We regularly ate “egg bread”. I didn’t hear the term French toast until after I finished school.

BrotherBroad3698: My parents called it ~eggy toast~ and I now call it the same with my own kids.
winoforever_slurp_, Crystal Jo
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89points

#20

45 Strange Childhood Realities People Later Learned Were Far From “Normal”
My dad cooking. Not many dads cooked.
Scuh, CDC
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89points
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