#1
#2
Him: I bet you’re loving this.
Me: I’m not, but I bet you would in my shoes. And that’s why you’re in that seat, and I’m in this one.
#3
Bullying has deeply negative effects on everyone involved. Not just the victims, but the bullies and bystanders, too. Their physical and mental health suffers, alongside their academic performance and emotional well-being. These problems can persist into adulthood.
According to Stop Bullying, children who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. They might lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and experience changes in their sleep and eating patterns.
Bullying also leads to worse academic achievements and a higher likelihood of missing, skipping, or dropping out of school.
#4
#5
So what happened?
I went in the military and got my s**t together. Got out and really did a lot of introspection and basically changed.
I'm now an advocate for people who are marginalized and defend the f**k out of people and their rights at work. I'm a union Steward and work very closely with our employees and labor reps in helping our members out.
But yeah, that was a part of me I wish never existed.
#6
Ran into him at a small house party while I was home from college for the summer like a year or two after graduation. He pulled me aside and sincerely apologized for being a d**k to me in high school, basically said that high school wasn't an easy time for him and that the way he acted towards me had more to do with that than it did with me. I accepted his apology and as far as I'm concerned we're still friends even though I haven't seen him in well over a decade since then. If I somehow ran into him today, I'd be stoked to catch up over a couple beers.
School bullies also face many negative effects stemming from their behavior. They are more likely to grow up doing risky behaviors, such as misusing alcohol and controlled substances.
They’re also more likely to drop out of school, vandalize property, get into fights, have criminal convictions, and have traffic citations. Moreover, bullies run the risk of being more violent toward their partners and kids as adults, Stop Bullying explains.
Meanwhile, bystanders who witness bullying are more likely to misuse tobacco, alcohol, and other substances. They also have an increased risk of missing or skipping school and developing mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.
#7
#8
"well, that is really weird dad because my worst bullies were in the house with me, school was a cake walk in comparison" (2 older brothers).
#9
One day, she was having a difficult time at drop off as her son became distressed. I called her once he had settled to assure her he was now fine, and she said ‘thank you so much, you are so kind to me and I know you don’t have to be, after what I used to be like.’
As per Health Direct, some of the most common signs that your child might be being bullied include the following:
- Being unusually secretive and quiet
- Not sleeping properly
- Being oversensitive
- Angry outbursts
- Physical injuries
- Headaches and stomachaches
- Becoming isolated and withdrawn
- Losing interest in regular activities
- Receiving more messages on social media than usual
- Damaged belongings
- Missing belongings
- Wetting the bed again
#10
I got CPTSD from being repeatedly SA'd by him and no one cares because we were minors and "someone must have taught him how to do that by SAing him/he didn't understand what he was doing," as though that will magically cure me.
I yell at everyone who says that bullies will get what's coming to them" and "life gets better for the bullied" as if those are universal truths instead of thought-ending cliches.
#11
#12
He said that he wanted to apologize for the way he treated me back when we were in school. I think he was going back to school himself (we were in our thirties) and having trouble fitting in as an older student, which made him realize how hurtful his actions were.
I really appreciated that he reached out to me like that, as a lot of people had bullied me during my school years. He was the only one to apologize.
After we hung up, a huge tidal wave of relief washed over me. I marked his name off the list, then put on some lipstick, because it makes me feel beautiful; and in that moment, I was.
Dealing with bullies is an incredibly complex question. Verywell Mind urges victims of bullying to reach out to authority figures (your teacher, colleague, boss, parent, friend, etc.) and tell them about the situation.
“These figures can help intervene and advocate for you or the person being bullied. If you don’t get the help you need from your first attempt, try again with someone else.”
Meanwhile, you have to be direct and hold the bully accountable for their actions. Be very specific about their problematic actions. Set healthy boundaries, explain what’s unacceptable, and give them an opportunity to change their behavior.
If your bullies don’t stop, it can help if you get a so-called safety buddy. In short, stick with people you trust so they can increase your safety and deter the bullies.
#13
#14
She bullied me horribly from 5th to 12th grade.
I'm 44. Even typing that out made me glad she's gone.
Eta: it wasn't me.
#15
I heard he went on to a relatively short, undistinguished career in UFC.
I've never given it a ton of thought until now...
I just googled him. He ended up with a 10-year prison sentence in CA in like 2013 for domestic violence. Beat his poor girlfriend half to death.
I can't say I'm surprised.
Verywell Mind suggests that instead of being a bystander, you should aim to be an ‘upstander.’ “This is someone who boldly speaks up to stop the bullying in its tracks. Simple ways to intervene are to question the bully’s behavior out loud, change the topic, or recruit an authority figure.”
Another tool in your arsenal is not reacting to your bullies’ attempts to provoke you. That way, they lose their sense of control. In the meantime, minimize the contact you have with your bullies and practice empowering body language to be perceived as confident and intimidating. This helps ward off some bullies.
Meanwhile, if you’re threatened and perceive a risk to your safety or that of your friends, immediately contact law enforcement.
#16
Organic_South8865:
Yeah same here. Even after getting expelled for getting into tok many fights. He's on his 3rd or 4th marriage last I heard. I know one of his colleagues and everyone hates working with him because he always escalates every call.
afdc92:
There’s definitely a correlation with male bullies becoming cops and female bullies becoming nurses.
#17
#18
Blonde cheerleader made her entire life about being pretty. Goes to college and gets her MRS degree. Super proud of her handsome, successful husband and she feels sorry for ugly women who can’t get someone like him. Has a couple kids. Then she gets breast cancer and has a double mastectomy. Her husband dumps her because he’s not attracted to her anymore. I guess if you make your entire identity about your looks, that doesn’t leave much to fall back on.
I do genuinely feel bad for her now, but she is one heck of a cautionary tale.
Were you ever bullied at school, Pandas? What happened to your bullies after you all grew up? What advice would you give anyone who’s being bullied now or whose own kids are being bullied in class?
It’s a very sensitive topic, but if you feel like sharing your thoughts, feel free to do so in the comments.
#19
😬
We’ve been together 17/18yrs now and thankfully he grew up and matured and did better with his life.
#20
