To have or not to have, that is the question! A century ago, it was assumed in most cultures that if you were married, the next step was to start a family. But nowadays, that expectation is starting to fade in many places, and some people have realized that they don’t actually have the desire to be parents.
Redditors in their thirties and forties who never had kids have recently been opening up about the realities of being childfree, so we’ve gathered some of their most insightful replies below. Whether you knew from a young age that you always wanted to be a mother or you’re on the fence about whether or not to start a family, we hope you enjoy hearing these people’s perspectives. And keep reading to find a conversation with the person who started this thread!
#21
I absolutely don’t regret it. It was the right call for me as well as any “potential children”.
I’m someone who would have had a child to feel like I had a family. Someone that was my family and that thought did occur to me a few times over the years. But it would have been selfish and led to misery, for everyone.
Then I look at the news see what’s happening to our civilization and I KNOW I made the right choice.
I’m someone who would have had a child to feel like I had a family. Someone that was my family and that thought did occur to me a few times over the years. But it would have been selfish and led to misery, for everyone.
Then I look at the news see what’s happening to our civilization and I KNOW I made the right choice.
12points
#22
I'm torn. There's a deep want in me to have a kid. However, I don't know if I'd want to bring another soul into this world to suffer. It'd be very selfish on my part. Although everyone has always told me I'd be a good mother, I think, for now, that love will go to my dog, my nieces and nephew, my partner, and my friends.
12points
#23
Living the dream: sleep, travel, brunch, repeat. No regrets here!
11points
#24
40 y/o here.
So so happy. all my friends come to me they are exhausted and do nothing but vent. I get to go to nice restaurants whenever I like - for them it's a logistical nightmare.
So so happy. all my friends come to me they are exhausted and do nothing but vent. I get to go to nice restaurants whenever I like - for them it's a logistical nightmare.
11points
#25
37 here and absolutely loving my decision. I travel whenever I want, my home is a peaceful sanctuary, and I've built an amazing career in marketing without juggling mom duties. Sure, my parents still bug me about grandkids, but I just send them pictures of my succulents instead. Zero regrets!
10points
#26
I'm in my late 30's If I have kids, I cannot retire in a few years, cannot travel, cannot have toys. Having Kids takes so much away. Life is short, I refuse to be bound by walls.
Now if I won the lottery, I would adopt 10 kids...because I have the means to do everything.
Now if I won the lottery, I would adopt 10 kids...because I have the means to do everything.
10points
#27
I'm 48f and childfree; not really a conscious choice, just never happened and I'm okay with that. Honestly, I lack the energy and patience to handle parenting anyway. I'm a proud Auntie of 4 nieces & nephews, who I love dearly and have been fairly involved in their lives. I have my pets to keep me company, and the money (from not raising kids) to pay for elder care if/when the time comes.
I love my freedom! I can do what I want when I want, for the most part, and enjoy traveling on my own. In fact, I'm going on a solo cruise + trip to Europe next spring. Can't wait. :-).
I love my freedom! I can do what I want when I want, for the most part, and enjoy traveling on my own. In fact, I'm going on a solo cruise + trip to Europe next spring. Can't wait. :-).
9points
#28
31 year old.
Here are things I wouldn't have been able to do had I decided to have children:
1) Managed to move into other country on my own.
2) Found a great workplace.
3) Educated myself and been upgrading my professional knowledge through many courses (which would have been impossible with kids).
4) Healed my past wounds through therapy.
5) Visited exotic countries.
6) Spent many peaceful and lovely afternoon naps with my partner
7) Saved money so I can have a car of my own.
I basically left my toxic circumstances, educated myself, earned money, did meaningful investments, met the love of my life...
And I will continue to do courses and be exceptionally professional.
I will continue to be there for people.
I will do whatever pleases my heart... Without children.
Because being a mother wouldn't please me.
My partner, friends, my grandmother, my colleagues, animals fill my heart with joy and happiness.
I am actually very proud of myself that I managed to buy my first car ever. It's such a relief and it made me realise that I would have probably been a struggling mom who would have to go back to work when the child is 1 year old.
And I don't think I can do that to a child.
Here are things I wouldn't have been able to do had I decided to have children:
1) Managed to move into other country on my own.
2) Found a great workplace.
3) Educated myself and been upgrading my professional knowledge through many courses (which would have been impossible with kids).
4) Healed my past wounds through therapy.
5) Visited exotic countries.
6) Spent many peaceful and lovely afternoon naps with my partner
7) Saved money so I can have a car of my own.
I basically left my toxic circumstances, educated myself, earned money, did meaningful investments, met the love of my life...
And I will continue to do courses and be exceptionally professional.
I will continue to be there for people.
I will do whatever pleases my heart... Without children.
Because being a mother wouldn't please me.
My partner, friends, my grandmother, my colleagues, animals fill my heart with joy and happiness.
I am actually very proud of myself that I managed to buy my first car ever. It's such a relief and it made me realise that I would have probably been a struggling mom who would have to go back to work when the child is 1 year old.
And I don't think I can do that to a child.
9points
#29
My life is awesome. I have a kick a*s partner, weekends to myself and I'm picking up new skills and trying to break into new careers.
Currently hand sculpting my own little range of fantasy miniatures as well as writing a graphic novel, even have an artist for it who's done a few pages.
My life is amazing.
Currently hand sculpting my own little range of fantasy miniatures as well as writing a graphic novel, even have an artist for it who's done a few pages.
My life is amazing.
9points
#30
I’m 39, female, and married with a cat. Never wanted kids and I’m so immensely happy with my decision. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and never have to think about someone besides my wife. We have more money to do things like travel, and we don’t have to only go places that are kid-friendly - like Disneyland. I am happy to say I will go my entire life without changing a kid’s diaper. The idea of kids just makes me feel sad. I like my freedom and peace and quiet, and I hate how this is seen as “selfish” in society. Such BS.
7points
