You also need to create a distinction between your desire and your final decision. “[They] are not always the same, nor is the goal for them to be the same. The goal is to know your truth about each of them. You may want to become a parent and decide not to for a variety of reasons.”
To do this, make a list of your fears about having children. Then, write down things you can’t stop thinking about or factors beyond your control (like age, health, career, relationship status). Set these lists aside and refrain from focusing on them until you know exactly what you want. “The why is important, not because you owe anyone an explanation but because you need to know what is driving your desire from the inside out so that you can be honest with yourself.” It’ll be easier to make the decision afterward.
And if you’re concerned that not having children will make you less happy in the long run, consider the following. Studies indicate that there’s no significant difference in life satisfaction and only minor differences in personality traits between people who choose parenthood and those who don’t. Moreover, single women without children seem to be the happiest group of all.
So, whether you choose to stay childfree or not, remember that the decision is yours to make and shouldn’t be judged by others. Everyone’s journey is different, shaped by personal desires, circumstances, and beliefs. It’s important to listen to your heart and focus on what brings you happiness and fulfillment in life.
