45 Of The Most Amusing Child-Friendly Insults That Members Of This Online Group Couldn't Resist Sharing With Others

We were at the base of Old Faithful and, as it was erupting, the wind shifted blowing a totally unexpected big drift of spray on our son who was about 4 at the time. He was soooo mad he started running and swinging his arms, stomping his feet and hollering "Dag Darn It!" at the top of his voice over and over like a miniature longshoreman who just smashed his thumb with a hammer and, brother, he MEANT EVERY WORD HE WAS SAYING! 24 years later, I'll STILL say "Dag Darn It!" when I'm in a position where I feel the need to exclaim in a negative fashion but real swearing would be wholly inappropriate.

I was a C.I.T at a day camp and there was this young kid with anger issues. He would often get into fights with the other kids and would have frequent temper tantrums when things didn’t go his way. One day on the bus he was sitting playing on his gameboy when the kid next to him starts drawing on a piece of paper. The boy with anger problems wanted a piece of paper and the other kid said no multiple times. Things got heated and the kid drawing said shut up. ( I know, intense). In which the other kid screamed,”SUCK MY GAMEBOY!” Unsuccessfully tried to hold in my laughter.

Shisha pit ... I’m randomly dyslexic when I talk quickly and I tried to call my friend a piece of s**t (jokingly) and thus became shisha pit..

"your face is a toaster"

I just looked at my nephew, eyebrows raised.
I was flabbergasted.

Your hairline looks like a MacDonald's sign

My nephew called me a “stanky rainbow.” Best insult ever.

You smell like hot dog water

I like to call people kartoffelkopf which means potato head in German.

You total muppet!

Gordon Ramsey taught his kids vegetable names to replace swears.
Shitaku for s**t was my favorite

“You’re... not a nice person!”
Which was then followed by a shocked gasp from their friend.

My 10 year old calls people 'bum crumb' 😂🤦‍♀️

Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick

You’re an immature nugget!

Was skating with a buddy and we passed 2 little kids, one kid called the other an idiot and he promptly shot back with immature nugget. That was well over 10 years ago and that’s still our go to insult for each other

Sugar Honey Ice Tea (s**t)

Shiitake (like the mushroom) instead of s**t.

Gordon Ramsey’s child said it at school and they got upset. Upon calling Mr. Ramsey and explaining the situation they were then set upon by Gordon Ramsey for them getting mad at his child for NOT cursing. He of course explained to them that shiitake is a type of mushroom.

By yelling at them about it.

Love that man.

You don't know grits from granola!

When I was 6 years-old, my childhood best friend taught me the phrase, “Get out of my face, Face!”

It’s so stupid, but I still think it to myself sometimes when I’m in a crowded area and people are in my personal bubble.

Idiot bunky nematode. My brother was maybe 3 when he said this to me and my sister.

Oh barnacles!