Someone Asked “What Is Something You Changed Your Stance On After Learning More About It?”, Here Are 30 Of The Most Fascinating Answers

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say before that “people can’t change”. While this may have been uttered by a bitter, pessimistic individual, it’s actually a pretty common belief to hold. Whether it’s in reference to someone who cheated on their partner, someone struggling with addiction or a student who just won’t do their homework, feeling this way about another person isn’t likely to encourage them to change their habits. 

But this list is a prime example that people can change. I think the issue is less about whether or not people can and more about whether or not they want to. People can certainly enact change within themselves, but we aren’t often successful in trying to alter anyone else. Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, addresses this in a piece on his website saying, “For a person to truly change, they must feel that the change is theirs, that they chose it, they control it. Otherwise, it loses all its effect.”  

In the case of wanting someone else in our lives to change, we often have to sit back and fight the impulse to impose our own opinions. It can be painful, but as Mark notes, “The best attempts at helping someone often backfire. You can’t make someone be confident or respect themselves or take responsibility—because the means you use to do this destroys confidence, respect, and responsibility.” 

So what does he recommend to gently guide loved ones towards better choices while maintaining our relationships? First, he notes that leading by example can be an effective tactic. If you think your partner is drinking too much and it’s beginning to negatively impact their life or health, you can set an example by inviting them to stay in with you more often or opting for nonalcoholic drinks in their company. It might not cause them to reconsider their own choices, but it does present them with an option they might have previously not even considered. 

Next, Mark recommends providing them with better questions, rather than answers. Avoid explicitly sharing your own opinions, and ask the other person questions that allow them to reflect on their actions. Mark provides the example of rather than telling someone they need to request a raise, you could ask them, “Do you believe you’re fairly paid?” They won’t feel judged, and it’s empowering for them to come to their own conclusions. Whether they agree with you or not, they’re at least considering the topic you raised.

Lastly, Mark notes how important it is to provide help unconditionally. Whether you think you know what’s best for them or not, resist the urge to tell them exactly what to do. Make yourself available, so they can take you up on the offer if they want to. Lots of people don’t want to hear advice, but they may relate to a personal story you share of a similar situation. And you’re not forcing them to do anything, especially change; you’re just opening up their mind.  

When it comes to what we change our minds on, it can be anything and everything. Maybe when you were growing up you hated brussels sprouts because of the way your parents prepared them, but after trying them roasted in the oven and drizzled with a bit of balsamic glaze, they became one of your favorite vegetables. Politics are certainly a common topic that people’s opinions ebb and flow on. Perhaps as a teenager you felt one way because that’s what your parents told you was right. Then when you went to college you joined some activist groups, and your political ideology did a 180. According to the Pew Research Center, even social media can play a role in affecting our political beliefs. In 2018, 14% of Americans say something they saw on social media caused them to alter their opinion on a political or social issue.

Certain groups were more impressionable, however. Men between the ages of 18-29, for example, were the most likely to be affected by what they read online, with 29% of them reporting that a social media post changed their views on an issue. The people who note that social media affects their beliefs also credit those sites for inspiring them to become more socially active. 67% of them said that social media is important to them for “finding others who share views about important topics” and 63% of them say social media is important for “getting involved with political or social issues”. 56% of them also noted that social media is important to them personally for “giving them a venue to express their political opinions”.

By 2020, 23% of Americans on social media said that “they have changed their views about a political or social issue because of something they saw on social media in the past year”. That alone (the jump from 14% to 23% over the course of 2 years) is a perfect indication of how people’s opinions change over time. People between the ages of 18-29 were still the most impressionable in 2020, with 34% of them reporting that their views had shifted from social media. The topics that people were most likely to change their minds about were the Black Lives Matter Movement, police brutality/need for police reform, political parties/ideologies/politicians, and race relations in general. One 64 year old woman stated, “Reading articles on the BLM movement has opened my eyes to the degree of systemic racism in this country and the world.” While another respondent, a 50 year old man said, “I used to support BLM, but now I see them as violent domestic terrorists not interested in addressing the real problems within the Black community. BLM is about a communist revolution not about helping the Black community…”

While we’re certainly all capable of changing our minds, it can be challenging to get there. We tend to be stubborn, so Dr. Maria Cohut of Medical News Today took a look at why exactly that is. She references a study that investigated “what, exactly, happens in the brain that makes people so unlikely to change their minds”, and notes that facts are often not enough to alter people’s opinions. “For instance,” the researchers of the study wrote, “over the last decade climate scientists have expressed greater confidence that climate change is man-made. Yet, the percentage of the population that believes this notion to be true has dropped over the same period of time.”  

According to the researchers, confirmation bias is a strong force. This was tested through an experiment where participants were randomly paired off with partners and shown images of real estate listings. The participants were then asked to evaluate what they would expect the asking price of each property to be, either more or less than an amount set by investors. Each participant then decided how much they would be willing to invest. Next they were asked to take functional MRI scans facing their partners, with a glass screen dividing them. Each participant could see on the glass screen images of the properties, the asking price estimates and how much they said they would  be willing to invest. Then, the participants were shown their partners’ responses.