Having a sibling is a wonderful experience because it often means that you are connected to them through memories, experiences, and a family bond. Sometimes, though, the relationship between brothers and sisters might be affected if parents favor one over the other.
This is what a teen faced as her mom always babied her older brother due to his epilepsy. Her mother expected her to spend her whole life looking after her sibling and catering to his needs, which the teen obviously didn’t want to do. Needless to say, this caused a lot of drama.
More info: Reddit
Caring for special needs children can be tough, and parents need to develop adequate systems to do so without putting pressure on their other kids
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her elder brother has nocturnal epilepsy, which is why her mom always kept tabs on him and treated him like a child
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Due to her brother’s disability, the poster’s entire life revolved around him, like keeping track of his medicines and looking after him on the bus
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
All this made the teen want to get away from her family as she got older, but her mom had other plans and expected her to rent an apartment with her sibling
Image credits: Oh-yikes16873
When the teen told her mom she didn’t want to give her life up for her brother, her mother got mad and called her selfish for thinking that way
The poster shared that for her whole life, her mom had been babying her elder brother due to his nocturnal epilepsy. This is a condition in which people might have seizures while falling asleep or waking up, which can cause loss of control of one’s muscles, bladder, and even limbs. Due to that, the mom watched her son like a hawk and expected her daughter to do the same.
Very often, kids are expected to pitch in or take up caregiver responsibilities for their disabled siblings in order to lighten the load of their parents. This often results in the needs of the other children being put aside or kept on hold until the special needs sibling is looked after. It can lead to an unfair family dynamic in which the “responsible” child is overlooked.
This is exactly what the 14-year-old had faced her whole life, because she was always expected to give her brother his medicines, look after him on the bus, and do other chores for him. Even though she cared for her sibling and family, she knew that she’d eventually want to move out and be able to live her own life.
Many children who have disabled siblings feel this way because very often their needs aren’t taken into consideration. Experts state that parents tend to focus their energy on the kids who require the most care and often minimize or neglect the ones who don’t require as much or any support.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s plan to live freely and on her own was criticized by her mother, who expected her to rent an apartment with her brother and take care of him. Her mom probably assumed that the teen would look after her disabled sibling for the rest of her life, but she didn’t consider the girl’s feelings or plans at all.
Even though it might have been a shock for the mother for her “responsible” daughter to finally voice her feelings, she should have tried to understand the teen’s point of view. Family therapists state that despite parents being so caught up in the support of their special needs kid, they need to put time aside to spend time with their other children as well.
This will help bridge the gap between them and make the other siblings feel loved and heard. Unfortunately, in this case, the mom took out her anger on the young girl and called her selfish for just voicing her mind. This must have made the teen feel hurt as well and worried about her future.
It’s difficult to be honest when parents have such high expectations, and when family responsibility plays such a strong role in the situation. Sometimes, though, it’s important to speak up, just like the teen did, so that one’s needs aren’t taken for granted.
What do you think about this situation, and do you feel it’s right for the mom to expect her daughter to take care of her elder brother? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
People sided with the poster and felt that her mom was wrong to expect her to be responsible for her brother for life
