What are the first three things that come to mind when you hear the word “Canada”? That’s right, extreme politeness, maple syrup, and weirdly pronounced “about” and “out” (by the way, I did ask my Canadian friends about it, and they had not the foggiest clue what I was talking about). These three things, along with severe weather conditions and maybe hockey if you are sports savvy, are the staples of Canadian jokes.
It may be the general good-naturedness of the Canadian people or something entirely else that inspires us, but even the laziest person on earth has made jokes about Canada at least occasionally. Every so often, you will find a Canada joke or some Canada puns in movies and TV shows too, and here we’re not even talking about Ryan Reynolds being… well, Ryan Reynolds.
Whether you pledge allegiance to the red and white flag with the leaf, know someone who does, or just love Canadian humor, we invite you to scroll down and treat yourself to some funny Canadian jokes with some maple syrup puns on the side. Share them with your Canadian friends, and if you know more jokes about Canada, tell us in the comments.
#1 Cold truths hit harder than maple syrup
Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.
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#2 Neighbor envy is real
What's the difference between America and Canada? The Americans have really nice neighbors.
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57points
#3 Four Seasons but Make It Canadian
In Canada the seasons are, almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
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#4 Canada’s World Domination Plan
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world. And then you will all be sorry.
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48points
#5 Only Canadians Get Healing Like This
You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American.
His superpower is healthcare.
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#7 Too Much Fighting, Eh?
Do you know why there's not much boxing in Canada? Every time there's a fight in the ring, a hockey game breaks out.
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#8 Cats that could star in a horror movie
A Scottish man walks into a bar in Canada. He noticed there is an animal's head hanging on the wall and asked the bartender what is it.
"A moose" replied the bartender.
"Jesus Christ! How big are the cats here?" Said the Scot.
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39points
#9 Polite Pool Party Exit
How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
You say, “please get out of the swimming pool.”
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#10 Falling Hard But Still Stunning
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
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#11 Canada’s way of saying “Oops, found it!”
What happens if you lose your wallet in Canada?
You’ll get it delivered to your house.
You’ll get it delivered to your house.
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#12 When Buddies Build Moonships
So the U.S. and Canada are combining their space programs to send a spacecraft to the moon.
They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
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#13 Canada’s Mild Remix, Unpacked
Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine. Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine.
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25points
#14 Insurance paranoia level: polite neighbor edition
The other day I bought Canadian insurance, but then I realized how stupid that was.
When am I gonna get attacked by a Canadian?
When am I gonna get attacked by a Canadian?
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#15 Maths That Actually Pays Off
Why do uneducated Canadians get more job offers in the US than Americans themselves? This is because 0 degrees in Canada is equivalent to 32 degrees in America!
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#16 That’s one way to divide a continent
Did you hear about the guy with a map of Canada tattooed on his butt?
Every time he sits down Quebec separates.
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#17 Classic Canadian Logic
How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
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#18 Toronto Doesn’t Get Its Own Zip Code
You know you are from Canada when… You know Toronto is not a province.
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#19 Only in Canada, right?
How do you know if your kidnapper is Canadian?
He pays your own ransom.
He pays your own ransom.
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#20 Bilingual Confusion Hits Hot and Cold
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud, the French word for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," the patron shrieked. "The other tap is also marked 'C.'"
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
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