Family life is one of those things where you never know where and when you'll offend someone or simply hurt someone else's interests. And indeed, if schools taught a discipline called "Family Negotiating", this world would definitely be a somewhat more peaceful place.
Relations between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law in families since ancient times have been a cause for much strife, and the modern day is no exception. Like, for example, in this family, where the wife decided to complain online about the behavior of the grandmother of her own 1-year-old son.
The thread she started on Reddit almost went viral with around 10K upvotes and over 2K different people rushed to comment. But let's not get ahead of ourselves...
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster's son was coincidentally born on the same day as his grandmother
Image credits: Liza (not the actual image)
So, the Original Poster delivered a son about a year ago, and it turned out that the baby was born exactly on the same day as his grandmother. By the way, even before the birth, the woman used to joke that the child should have waited a bit to be born in order to avoid such coincidences - but no. It turned out just the opposite.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
When it came time to arrange birthday parties, nobody wanted to give in
And so, when it came time to organize the first birthday party for the little boy, it turned out that the MIL did not want to give in to any arrangement that would take attention from her own party. We must say, she had two good reasons for this.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
The mother-in-law had her 50th birthday, so it was extremely important to her
Firstly, in their family, it has always been customary to arrange very large-scale family holidays. Secondly, not just a birthday was approaching, but a half-century jubilee - and such a date, you see, should be celebrated on a special scale!
Image credits: Dark Dwarf (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Mom and MIL did not agree on the arranging of both parties on the same day
And so, the OP and her MIL started arguing. At first, mom suggested arranging a children's party in the morning, and then move on to celebrating grandma's birthday. She, however, refused - because the scale of the planned holiday meant stylists, hairdressers, trying on clothes... in fact, the woman simply would not have had time to visit the holiday of her tiny grandson.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Grandmother told her that the 1-year-old baby just won't remember anything about his first party
In turn, MIL claimed that since the baby is only a year old, he definitely won’t remember or even understand anything that will happen, so, in her opinion, nothing terrible will occur if the children’s party is rescheduled to another day, or even to the next weekend.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Both women blamed the other in disrespect and offensiveness
Needless to say, both women could not come to an agreement. In the end, everything played out like a massive quarrel - the mother accused MIL of neglecting her own grandson, and she, in turn, claimed that the OP simply did not respect her and her age.
Image credits: Marc can der Chijs (not the actual iimage)
The OP, in response, just called the MIL a crybaby - and the relationship deteriorated for a long time. Her husband's sisters sided with their mother and stopped communicating with both the OP and their own brother (who, apparently, supported his own wife and son).
People in the comments just blasted both women for being extremely stubborn
However, commenters on Reddit were not so supportive, blasting both women for being so stubborn. Most, of course, simply advised her to reconcile and organize a joint party - although the OP further noted that her MIL usually celebrates noisily, with loud music, feasts until deep after midnight and entertains many 'doubtful', as she puts it, guests.
And yet, people in the comments were inclined to believe that it was necessary to agree to get along somehow - at least so that in the future, the kid would not grow up in an atmosphere of hostility, and after such a quarrel, further grievances and conflicts are inevitable. In general, as we have already noted, a training course on "Family Negotiating" is a must-have.
By the way, it would be interesting to know your opinion about this story - and indeed, perhaps some of you have found yourself in a slightly similar situation, in which case we look forward to hearing about your decision. Experience, after all, is the result of mistakes, and it's best to learn from those made by strangers.