Parenthood is a beautiful thing – but it’s not for everyone. Some establish this pretty early in life, while others, frankly, discover it way too late.
The star of today’s article is a mother of a 14-year-old teen. She divorced her ex when their daughter was only four, and while the man did make an effort to be a good father for the first couple of years – eventually, it all went downhill.
More info: Reddit
Uninvolved dad arrives late to a family gathering and belittles daughter’s sporting achievements
Image credits: PodPros (not the actual image)
The 14-year-old bursts into tears and demands that she and her mom go home – however, her mom tells her to wait in the car
Image credits: Julia M Cameron (not the actual image)
Image credits: Oleksandr Pidvalnyi (not the actual image)
image source: u/throra2762
“AITA for calling my ex a deadbeat in front of his family?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most honorable communities, asking its members if she’s indeed wrong for lashing out at her uninvolved ex who made their teen daughter cry. The post managed to garner nearly 14K upvotes as well as 1.4K comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to a 2019 piece from The Census Bureau – which is a principal agency of the U.S. Federal Statistical System responsible for producing data about the American people and economy – 20.2% of men (about 7 million) are “absent” dads of all of their minor children?
It’s no big news that parenthood isn’t easy; it’s a tremendously gratifying experience, but no matter what you do or how you do it, sometimes it brings more exhaustion than joy – yet, more often than not, said exhaustion tends to stem from the lack of support that some parents get rather than the demands of child care per se!
Chances are, the “deadbeat dad” phenomenon is something that you’ve all heard about, but in case you’re unfamiliar, the terminology originally referred to fathers who evaded court-ordered child support obligations or custody arrangements – but, nowadays, it is used rather openly to simply describe men who neglect their responsibilities as parents.
Some common traits are: not having a relationship with their children; using them as weapons; not knowing any vital details, like birthdays, for instance; having lots of free time but still not finding any to connect; and the baseless slander of their exes – the list is never-ending, really, and depends on the individual, but you know what they say, you’ll recognize a deadbeat when you see one.
The woman then calls her ex a “deadbeat” and says that she wouldn’t be surprised if the teen cut him loose one day
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual image)
Now, it’s normal for things to go a little haywire when a couple with kids decides to separate. Co-parenting is a tough egg to crack, but ditching all your responsibilities when you have a whole human to take care of is a total jerk move, to say the very least.
Sadly, the original poster, u/throra2762, knows exactly what it’s like. “Brian,” the dad in question, was very involved in their kid’s life for the first couple of years after the divorce – however, he lost interest pretty quickly. The man stopped coming to parent-teacher evenings, his daughter’s sports games, refused to pay child support (what a shocker, I know), would forget to pick her up on allotted days, etc.
At first, he tried to win his offspring over and buy her extravagant gifts to somehow make amends, but it stopped working as “Sam” began to see her dad’s true colors.
The one thing the author’s daughter got out of her relationship with her father, though, is her close connection to his parents, which brings us to the initial story.
The grandparents decided to take her and the rest of the family out to celebrate the teen’s field hockey achievements – yet the dad was almost an hour late. Not only did he not apologize, but he also belittled his child’s sports achievements, specifically noting how she “only” scored one goal.
Needless to say, the nasty remark left her in tears, and she demanded they go home. The OP agreed and told the 14-year-old to wait in the car while she got their stuff, but she couldn’t let it go and lashed out.
The woman called him a “deadbeat” and recounted all of the things he did or perhaps didn’t do. She said that she wouldn’t be surprised if their daughter decided to cut him loose one day. The father tried to defend himself – but quickly grew livid and eventually stormed out.
His parents were shocked by the statements as it seemed they were under the impression that he was a good dad – however, they still scolded the woman for causing a scene at the restaurant.
Many, if not all, Redditors sided with the post’s creator and praised her daughter’s field hockey achievements. Others strongly encouraged the woman to take it to court and claim the backdated child support – however, the woman revealed that since she has a well-paying job, she plans to familiarize her daughter with the situation before she turns 18 so that she can claim the payments that will then be paid directly to her for her to use as she wishes.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the author did everything right, or would you have done things differently?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the matter
