Not every parent can be what their children need to grow into happy and healthy human beings. There are many things that can stand in their way of doing right by their kids, and sometimes parents don’t even notice they’re doing more harm than good, which forces others to step in.
This woman did exactly that after she could no longer stand watching her sister-in-law endanger her kids. However, in the process, she ruined her own marriage, as her husband and his family started resenting her for it.
Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with therapist and positive parenting expert Jenifer Brougham, LICSW, CCTP, and licensed clinical social worker and owner of Amel Counseling and Consulting, Kim Wheeler Poitevien, who kindly agreed to share their insights on bad parenting intervention.
Not every parent can do right by their children
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As it happened with this mom, which pushed her SIL to call CPS
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Bad parenting is characterized by actions that harm children’s development and well-being
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At this point, it’s common knowledge that the parenting journey doesn’t come without hiccups or mistakes. What gets labeled as “bad parenting” is oftentimes a lack of support and a lack of skills and tools related to both parenting and mental health, says therapist and positive parenting expert Jenifer Brougham, LICSW, CCTP.
However, while most moments of frustration, error, or confusion are nothing to worry about, others can have a long-lasting impact on children. "Some major concerns would be abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual) and neglect. Continuously placing a child in risky environments or failing to meet their basic needs are also signs of poor parenting," explains licensed clinical social worker and owner of Amel Counseling and Consulting, Kim Wheeler Poitevien.
"When a caregiver consistently puts a child’s emotional or physical safety at risk, the issue moves beyond a parenting struggle. Harmful behaviors may include chronic yelling or shaming, emotional neglect, physical punishment, or failure to provide basic needs such as food, medical care, adequate supervision, or emotional security," says Brougham.
Bad parenting practices can negatively affect a child’s mental, emotional, social, and physical development, emotional regulation, and their relationships with others. Often, these unresolved issues persist in adulthood, further affecting their quality of life.
Unfortunately, bad parenting is quite prevalent, with studies finding that 15.2% of children experience maltreatment and up to 50% of parents use ineffective parenting styles, such as authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved approaches.
"There could be a number of reasons for a child receiving inadequate parenting. Social factors like mental health, financial stress, limited resources, and lack of support can negatively impact parenting," notes Poitevien.
Good reasons to call CPS include physical and sexual abuse and neglect
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Sadly, in more extreme cases, children get stuck with parents who put them in danger without a way out. The only way they can be helped is if an outsider notices they’re being abused or that their well-being is being threatened in any other way.
"Depending on the situation, bystanders and loved ones may be able to intervene directly. Family members may offer some support or guidance. In other situations, parents may not be as receptive, and referrals to support agencies may be needed. If a child is in imminent danger, the proper authorities, like the police or child protective services, should be called," explains Poitevien.
Brougham adds, "It’s appropriate to contact CPS when you have reasonable suspicion that a child is being abused, neglected, or placed in harm’s way. You don’t need proof—just a good-faith concern based on observation or disclosure. When a parent puts their child’s safety at risk—like driving under the influence—someone must intervene. That call could save lives.”
“Intervening in cases of substance or alcohol misuse isn’t just about protecting kids—it’s also about creating the opportunity for a parent to get the help they may desperately need. When parents misuse substances, it’s usually not about selfishness—it’s often about self-medicating untreated mental health issues,” explains Brougham.
“Something that’s also important to note is that before reporting a family to CPS or emergency services, a person needs to understand that reports should not be made out of frustration or disagreement with a parenting style. A report can bring serious stress to the family, therefore, when in doubt, talk to a pediatrician, school counselor, or a mandated reporter first,” says Brougham.
Brougham’s parting thought for anyone reading this is the importance of understanding that what we consider bad parenting is really a sign of deeper struggles, such as mental health struggles, chronic stress, lack of support, and lack of skills and tools related to both parenting and mental health. "We’ve got to hold space for both accountability and compassion. Supporting parents with tools, education, and empathy is often the best way to protect children and strengthen families," she concludes.
Commenters assured the woman that she was doing the right thing
Meanwhile, some even shared similar stories
