Nobody’s immune to bad luck. But what you initially think is a negative experience might turn out to be anything but! There are small moments of misfortune that end up either indirectly protecting you from something far worse or lead to something wonderful.
This, in a nutshell, is the so-called Burnt Toast Theory. Essentially, it suggests that minor inconveniences and delays can be blessings in disguise. Today, we’re featuring some of the most jaw-dropping moments of serendipity as shared by internet users in an intriguing AskReddit thread. Grab some toast and scroll down to read all about why they were so grateful for their setbacks.
#1
A snowy day led to both mine and another EMTs partner calling out. We got paired together and spent the next 10hrs on the ambulance laughing nonstop. At the end of our shift I cut up a pair of gloves and "proposed" we'd be partners, we both changed our schedules to work together. Soon after we started dating, and weve been together for 7years. We just had our first wedding anniversary. We've both moved off the ambulance in to better careers, and were as happy and in love as ever all thanks to a snowy day.
58points
#2
Not me, but my grandpa always told this story about the power of saying “thank you”.
He got a scholarship that took him from what was then Rhodesia to study law at Yale fully paid. When he arrived, he searched and found the couple that sponsored him in New York and met them to say thank you. They said that in the many years of having this scholarship, he was the only person to ever find and thank them. This led to them forming a friendship, offering him a job right out of law school at their very prestigious firm in NY, sponsoring his visa, eventually getting him citizenship and that was where he met my Grandma. The couple stood in as his parents at his wedding. He had a very happy and successful life, and he would always tell anyone that would listen that it was because of that one moment in his life where he decided to make the extra effort to say “thank you.”
He got a scholarship that took him from what was then Rhodesia to study law at Yale fully paid. When he arrived, he searched and found the couple that sponsored him in New York and met them to say thank you. They said that in the many years of having this scholarship, he was the only person to ever find and thank them. This led to them forming a friendship, offering him a job right out of law school at their very prestigious firm in NY, sponsoring his visa, eventually getting him citizenship and that was where he met my Grandma. The couple stood in as his parents at his wedding. He had a very happy and successful life, and he would always tell anyone that would listen that it was because of that one moment in his life where he decided to make the extra effort to say “thank you.”
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49points
#3
In 2015, I was going to a big music festival. I'd never been to one before, so I found the official FB group for it to get advice and meet people going.
Commented on one thread about short people needing help to see crowded bands for pictures. I volunteered for someone to sit on my shoulders for a band we both liked so she could get some pictures if we didn't get close enough. We hung out all weekend, hung out a lot after. We've now been together for 10yrs, married for 6.5 of them.
All because of a FB comment.
Commented on one thread about short people needing help to see crowded bands for pictures. I volunteered for someone to sit on my shoulders for a band we both liked so she could get some pictures if we didn't get close enough. We hung out all weekend, hung out a lot after. We've now been together for 10yrs, married for 6.5 of them.
All because of a FB comment.
48points
You’ve likely had moments in your life when something bad happens to you, but because of that, you end up with a win or you avoid an even bigger loss. We know that we’ve personally experienced these things countless times.
For instance, we’ve met many awesome people because something had gone wrong (we got lost in a new city, our phones ran out of juice, etc.) and we needed a bit of help.
It’s not just bad luck that leads to something good. Sometimes, it’s pure chance (or a guardian angel) that protects you from accidents. For example, just this year alone, there have been a handful of times when we’ve accidentally slowed down as we approached a street crossing, which helped us avoid reckless drivers zooming past.
Bad luck is all around you, and it’s unavoidable. You can’t control most things that happen to you, but you can change how you react to them. And this is what makes a key difference. Do you whine, groan, and crumble? Or do you embrace what has happened, zoom out to look at the bigger picture, and try to look for something to be grateful for?
#4
I was given the wrong date for a group job interview so I showed up on Thursday rather than Tuesday. The HR guy easily could have just apologised for the mix up and told me it was too bad but he said he had some time so he could take me through the technical tests and ask me the interview questions so I could be added to the pool of candidates from the group interview. I got the job, met my husband, we started a business many years later that employs many people and helps our local community and we have 2 wonderful children. None of that would exist without that HR guy’s kindness and taking the time to interview me when he didn’t have to.
42points
#5
I was stuck in a [bad] job. One of my friends was in nursing school and frequently crashed at my house after her shifts because it was closer than her house. She was doing nursing school practice exams and I was answering questions with her out of boredom. As I was doing them, I thought to myself this is actually pretty interesting. The next year I decided to move back home and start going for my nursing associates. 9 years later, I have a great career and my life has taken a complete 180. Never considered nursing before that night and probably would still be a complete train wreck if I never decided to bug my friend doing homework.
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38points
#6
I was 21 and in the Navy, living in the student barracks. It was the rare holiday weekend when I was off duty, and all I wanted to do for Memorial Day holiday was stay in my room and read, but a couple of the girls were trying to convince me to hang out with them and another friend on Monday. I wasn’t planning to go, but I finished my last book about 30 minutes before they wanted to meet that morning, so I decided to head their way.
Right as I stepped onto the smoke deck I saw this guy. Red hair, green eyes, and he had just said something that made the people he was talking to laugh. And I knew in the deepest part of me that someday I would marry him.
He knew the girls I was meeting and we all hung out together that day. And we just clicked, as though we’d always known each other. 2 weeks later we had an actual date. Then another the next night. That’s when he proposed. We got married 4 weeks later, which was 6 weeks after I first saw him. Everyone thought we were nuts, and they were probably right. All either of us had to go on was a gut feeling and a prayer.
We celebrated our 25th anniversary this past summer. He is the best person I’ve ever known. Those green eyes I first noticed are kind and intelligent, and he’s always making me laugh. The red hair darkened over time and lately I can see grey highlights coming through. We have a son and a dog and an incredible and fulfilling life even when it’s hard. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone more, and I don’t think anyone else could make me feel so loved. In my wildest dreams I never thought I would grow up to be so happy.
And all because I didn’t check one more book out of the library for the holiday weekend.
Right as I stepped onto the smoke deck I saw this guy. Red hair, green eyes, and he had just said something that made the people he was talking to laugh. And I knew in the deepest part of me that someday I would marry him.
He knew the girls I was meeting and we all hung out together that day. And we just clicked, as though we’d always known each other. 2 weeks later we had an actual date. Then another the next night. That’s when he proposed. We got married 4 weeks later, which was 6 weeks after I first saw him. Everyone thought we were nuts, and they were probably right. All either of us had to go on was a gut feeling and a prayer.
We celebrated our 25th anniversary this past summer. He is the best person I’ve ever known. Those green eyes I first noticed are kind and intelligent, and he’s always making me laugh. The red hair darkened over time and lately I can see grey highlights coming through. We have a son and a dog and an incredible and fulfilling life even when it’s hard. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone more, and I don’t think anyone else could make me feel so loved. In my wildest dreams I never thought I would grow up to be so happy.
And all because I didn’t check one more book out of the library for the holiday weekend.
36points
As the Cleveland Clinic explains, at the core of the Burnt Toast Theory lies the idea of reframing negative situations to look for the silver lining or to think that everything happens for a reason.
“It’s a concept based on reframing. Something as simple as burning your toast in the morning, though it might be frustrating and inconvenient, might actually have happened for good reason. Maybe it slows you down a bit, but it may also give you an extra two minutes to breathe while you wait for new toast. Or maybe being an extra five minutes late prevents you from hitting all red lights on your way into work,” psychologist Brianne Markley, PhD, told the Cleveland Clinic.
Things like missing your bus or flight, getting a flat tire, forgetting your wallet or lunch at home, or taking a wrong turn can all be frustrating in isolation. And there’s no need to pretend that you’re not upset at these bouts of bad luck.
#7
A couple of decades ago, I went to see the J. Geils Band at a local club. I was a little bit of a fan, and I had been trying to go out and do more things with my girlfriend, and tickets were only $10, so what the hell. When we got there, I noticed how low the ceilings were, how narrow the hallways in back to the bathrooms were, and that they had the back doors chained so people wouldn't sneak in. The concert was decent, especially for $10 each.
The next year, another band was playing that same place for about $20/each. I wasn't much of a fan, and told her, "I only spent ten bucks to see J. Geils. No way I'm spending twice that to see a band I only know two songs from."
That band was Great White. Me being a cheap prevented me from being in the Station Nightclub Fire.
The next year, another band was playing that same place for about $20/each. I wasn't much of a fan, and told her, "I only spent ten bucks to see J. Geils. No way I'm spending twice that to see a band I only know two songs from."
That band was Great White. Me being a cheap prevented me from being in the Station Nightclub Fire.
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33points
#8
I had just moved to London from Melbourne, Australia and only had one friend outside of my family in the city. On a Saturday night, she was busy, and I was bored, so I looked up what was happening near me on Facebook events and found a basement concert for an American rapper called Mykki (?) Blanco.
I went to the gig a couple of hours later by myself, decided to try and make friends so I chucked out my lighter and went and hung out in the smokers section and started asking people for a light to strike up conversation. I met a gay guy who was pretty cool, and he told me his husband ran a tequila bar in the east end who was looking for staff and that he would pass on my number.
He did, and I got the job working as a waitress. There was one other antipodean there (a guy from New Zealand) who I got along with pretty well.
14 years later me and that kiwi guy are married with two kids :)
We never would have met if my friend wasn’t busy that night.
I went to the gig a couple of hours later by myself, decided to try and make friends so I chucked out my lighter and went and hung out in the smokers section and started asking people for a light to strike up conversation. I met a gay guy who was pretty cool, and he told me his husband ran a tequila bar in the east end who was looking for staff and that he would pass on my number.
He did, and I got the job working as a waitress. There was one other antipodean there (a guy from New Zealand) who I got along with pretty well.
14 years later me and that kiwi guy are married with two kids :)
We never would have met if my friend wasn’t busy that night.
32points
#9
When I was 17 I interviewed for a gap year overseas. My top picks for locations were Russia, Fiji, Poland, China, and Canada. I wanted a wildly different experience than my Australian upbringing. Canada was my last choice but that's the country they chose for me after my interview. Glad they did because I ended up loving it! Eventually moved here, found my love, started a family, and obtained my citizenship.
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31points
Dr. Markley points out that the theory doesn’t encourage you to be grateful for your burnt toast or what have you. “You can still be frustrated that your toast is burnt, but it gives you an opportunity to reroute, reframe and overcome a small setback.” This is what separates the Burnt Toast Theory from something like toxic positivity.
To put it simply, the Burnt Toast Theory encourages you to have more self-compassion, be mindful, helps you move forward, and makes you more resilient to stress.
#10
Dislocated someone's shoulder at Judo. Felt bad, so went to a first aid course. Met my wife and been together 18 years.
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30points
#11
I was attending a weekend of placement testing for a high school I wanted to attend - a boarding school for nerds, essentially. State run. There's about 2 dozen US states with school like this ( school of math and science, etc.)
I had some sort of stomach bug. The rooms were spinning, I knew I was bombing these exams. I went outside and sat on some steps waiting for my dad to collect me. Suddenly, a voice:
"...are you [okay]?"
It was a girl my age in a catholic school uniform. Her face showed great concern. She sat with me until dad came. He saw how bad I was and was able to arrange that I retake the exams.
Four weeks later at the orientation weekend a young woman with a shaved head approaches me and we figure out it's the catholic school girl. She wanted to let loose a little since she was transitioning from a high control to very low control environment. A rising senior, introduced as the senior class president took an interest in us. "Yall rooming together? We have an empty room in our suite." Without a word to each other or even a look we both said yes.
Its been 20 years hence. Lauren's been my maid of honor. We've traveled the world together. She's my oldest and best friend. Thanks for not letting me [pass] alone that one afternoon.
I had some sort of stomach bug. The rooms were spinning, I knew I was bombing these exams. I went outside and sat on some steps waiting for my dad to collect me. Suddenly, a voice:
"...are you [okay]?"
It was a girl my age in a catholic school uniform. Her face showed great concern. She sat with me until dad came. He saw how bad I was and was able to arrange that I retake the exams.
Four weeks later at the orientation weekend a young woman with a shaved head approaches me and we figure out it's the catholic school girl. She wanted to let loose a little since she was transitioning from a high control to very low control environment. A rising senior, introduced as the senior class president took an interest in us. "Yall rooming together? We have an empty room in our suite." Without a word to each other or even a look we both said yes.
Its been 20 years hence. Lauren's been my maid of honor. We've traveled the world together. She's my oldest and best friend. Thanks for not letting me [pass] alone that one afternoon.
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28points
#12
2018. I'd need through a particularly rough patch for about five years. In a job I hated, in a town I hated. My employment prospects were terrible, and so were my romantic ones. I went back home (other side of the country) for a week, ostensibly for a job interview, but it was really to say "goodbye" to my loved ones, iykyk.
My car broke down while I was over here. Because of that, I couldn't afford to get back, and I was available for a surprise interview, and landed a job that paid twice as much as the one I was leaving. Now I get paid 1.5x *that* amount, am completely debt free, and have a very happy and healthy relationship with a beautiful woman :).
My car broke down while I was over here. Because of that, I couldn't afford to get back, and I was available for a surprise interview, and landed a job that paid twice as much as the one I was leaving. Now I get paid 1.5x *that* amount, am completely debt free, and have a very happy and healthy relationship with a beautiful woman :).
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25points
Meanwhile, Verywell Mind agrees that reframing negative experiences helps you move forward in life. Often, you don’t get the closure you crave for why something happened. So, choosing to believe that your misfortune is “clearing the way for something better” can be more productive.
“The reality is that you may never get the answers you need, so it's more helpful to forge ahead on your path rather than searching for clues in the sand. You can start planning what you need to do in order to move your career forward or think about how you want to alter your dating strategy in hopes of a different outcome next time.”
#13
Ordered pizza delivery, but the driver got my address wrong and showed up 3 streets away. By the time I found him, the pizza was a little cold. I complained jokingly, and he said, “Fine, I’ll give you a free one next time.” He actually did, and we’ve been friends ever since.
Then one night he invited me to join his friend group for a small get-together. That’s where I met this girl, we started talking, hit it off, and now she’s my girlfriend.
Then one night he invited me to join his friend group for a small get-together. That’s where I met this girl, we started talking, hit it off, and now she’s my girlfriend.
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25points
#14
When I was a depressed and lonely teenager I went to a Radiohead concert in London. All the avid fans at the time were lining up all day all weekend, so we were there for probably 12 hours. I made friends in line with two musicians in their late twenties, one of whom was kind to me in the profound and meaningful way that you can be kind to a teenager. We kept in very sporadic touch after that - he was one of those guys that has zero internet presence.
I wrote a poem about that guy and his kindness and posted it on my silly Tumblr with his full name (stupid; wouldn’t do it as an adult) and went on with my life. We hadn’t talked for years when I get this message from a woman in the US who had the best time with him and is flying to Spain forever but accidentally left her phone in his car and needs it back, and she’s tried to find him but no dice because he has no internet presence and the only thing that comes up about him is this silly poem about how nice he was to me! I send a frantic email to him via this email I’m not even sure he checks anymore.
Anyway, they’re married now and she didn’t move to Spain after all. Happily I hope!
I wrote a poem about that guy and his kindness and posted it on my silly Tumblr with his full name (stupid; wouldn’t do it as an adult) and went on with my life. We hadn’t talked for years when I get this message from a woman in the US who had the best time with him and is flying to Spain forever but accidentally left her phone in his car and needs it back, and she’s tried to find him but no dice because he has no internet presence and the only thing that comes up about him is this silly poem about how nice he was to me! I send a frantic email to him via this email I’m not even sure he checks anymore.
Anyway, they’re married now and she didn’t move to Spain after all. Happily I hope!
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21points
#15
I bought tickets to a music festival in 2010, and it ended up being my brother’s high school graduation weekend and my mom wouldn’t let us go. I posted in a group on LAST.fm I wanted to give away the tickets. A guy responded that he wanted them, so we DMed, exchanged info and I forgot to send the tickets. We ended up talking online a lot, had a similar music taste and started going to concerts together regularly. He moved to another state for college but we stayed in touch. He visited one summer, we confessed our love to each other, and I ended up dropping my entire life to move in with him 1700 miles away from my hometown. We didn’t work out but I met the love of my life here, started a business, made some incredible friends and built myself the life of my dreams. I can’t believe I’d ever be grateful that my mom wouldn’t let me go to a festival.
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21points
Which of these Burnt Toast Theory stories impressed you the most, Pandas? What are some small moments of awful luck that either protected you from an accident or led to something awesome happening?
How (un)burnt do you prefer your toast at breakfast? If you feel like sharing your life stories, we’re all ears! We can’t wait to read your thoughts in the comments at the bottom of this post.
#16
My friend and I were driving to a different city to go shopping and changed plans mid drive because of the weather. I met my husband at the place we went instead. A 10 minute conversation turned into 12 years and counting.
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19points
#17
No money, no heat, and barely any food my first winter in Oregon. I was struggling and the only thing I had handy for recreation was my Nintendo Switch. Years earlier, in easier times, I had bought Fire Emblem: Three Houses mainly because Edelgard looked cool on the cover, but I'd never played it.
Playing a little bit at a time between working to fix my situation, I totally fell in love with Edelgard's route. When things got better, I started writing fanfiction. That reignited my passion for writing. Now I'm back to full-time editing and writing gigs and always make time for fiction, the thing that makes me happiest in life.
I've never been more productive, my mental health is more robust and I know what I want from life, and it was basically thanks to Edelgard. If I hadn't been under extreme stress, there's no way I would have imprinted on her so hard; I wouldn't have needed to write about her; and none of this would've happened.
And it was all because I went "She looks neat, I wonder what her deal is?" and bought impulsively.
Playing a little bit at a time between working to fix my situation, I totally fell in love with Edelgard's route. When things got better, I started writing fanfiction. That reignited my passion for writing. Now I'm back to full-time editing and writing gigs and always make time for fiction, the thing that makes me happiest in life.
I've never been more productive, my mental health is more robust and I know what I want from life, and it was basically thanks to Edelgard. If I hadn't been under extreme stress, there's no way I would have imprinted on her so hard; I wouldn't have needed to write about her; and none of this would've happened.
And it was all because I went "She looks neat, I wonder what her deal is?" and bought impulsively.
19points
#18
Much too early dinner break at work (night shift), and met the woman who'd become my wife at the café I decided to try now that I had my break before everything closed.
She was also random forced to fill in at the front, usually working only in the kitchen, so we both had our toast burnt.
She was also random forced to fill in at the front, usually working only in the kitchen, so we both had our toast burnt.
19points
#19
In the game Rust, I didn't shoot the other person who showed up at the airdrop. We split the loot. Kept running into each other and became gaming buddies.
His friends and I started making mods for games. One of these mods got me my first programming job, which is kind of a big deal because I don't have a Computer Science degree.
That job didn't work out long term, but it was enough experience to get an even better job.
I met my long-term, probably permanent partner working here.
So basically being nice to someone in a video game got me a decent career, a great partner, plus smart and fun friends to game with.
His friends and I started making mods for games. One of these mods got me my first programming job, which is kind of a big deal because I don't have a Computer Science degree.
That job didn't work out long term, but it was enough experience to get an even better job.
I met my long-term, probably permanent partner working here.
So basically being nice to someone in a video game got me a decent career, a great partner, plus smart and fun friends to game with.
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18points
#20
I was a young university teacher and was supposed to teach an evening class one semester. A week before the first class, an instructor who had more seniority than me wanted to swap classrooms, which meant that I now needed to drive farther to teach an evening class at another campus across town. I was so pissed off at the time.
However, that semester I ended up meeting and falling in love with a lady who was taking classes that term at that campus. That was almost 25 years ago now. Since then, we got married, raised two lovely children, and will live happily ever after.
I never met that other teacher who requested to swap classes, but if it wasn't for him wanting to swap workplaces that semester, my wife and I never would've met.
However, that semester I ended up meeting and falling in love with a lady who was taking classes that term at that campus. That was almost 25 years ago now. Since then, we got married, raised two lovely children, and will live happily ever after.
I never met that other teacher who requested to swap classes, but if it wasn't for him wanting to swap workplaces that semester, my wife and I never would've met.
18points