Social psychologist Arie Kruglanski coined the phrase “need for closure” in the 1990s. It describes our desire for a firm answer to a question that will alleviate confusion and ambiguity.
When Marc. M contacted his middle school bully, he was probably seeking just that. Something that could explain why the guy picked him. YeahMarkYeah didn't force him into a corner, demanding an apology or anything. He just told him how he felt about it.
However, the answer the former bully penned proved that kids grow up and people change, and you can't be angry at someone forever. If they give you a reason.
Marc. M decided to face the painful feelings he had been carrying with himself for years and contacted his middle school bully
Image credits: YeahMarkYeah
The answer was so unexpected, Mark just had to share it online
Image credits: YeahMarkYeah
The need for closure doesn’t just apply to difficult relationships. The death of a close person, the loss of a job or social status are other examples of prolonged and painful endings. Letting go of something that's important can be difficult, and many people seek closure when doing so.
Like The Conversation described it, it's like putting together a mental puzzle of what’s happened – examining each piece and its relationship to the overall puzzle. Closure is achieved when we are satisfied that the puzzle has been assembled to our satisfaction, that the answers have been reached and it is therefore possible to move on.
People had a lot to say about their exchange
