And who is better equipped to share what it’s like surviving a bridezilla wedding than the bridesmaids who’ve been to nuptial hell and back?
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"Not because there would be a small child at the wedding, and not even because she didn't want me to be 'fat' at her wedding. But because if I lost another child, it would take the attention away from her engagement and wedding! I was so shocked that I declined and haven't spoken to her since
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If you've ever attended a wedding or had one of your own, you know how much work, sleepless nights, and anticipation there is under that beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime facade. But it's no secret that some weddings turn sour for various reasons; sometimes things go against the plan, other times it’s plain luck deciding to turn its back on you, and occasionally, it’s the toxic environment which makes both the preparation and the big day into something you’d rather forget.
So in order to find out why wedding planning turns sour, what you should do if it does, and how to handle a bridezilla on the loose, Bored Panda reached out to Rhiann Janak Gouabeche, the CEO of Lucy Till French Wedding planners that cover some of the most beautiful places to say ‘I do’ out there, from Provence, the French Riviera, to the French Alps, and Lake Como.
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Rhiann, who has planned over 50 weddings in the south of France, told us that if you’re feeling tremendous pressure when planning your wedding, you’re probably not alone.“Did you know that wedding planning is ranked one of the most stressful jobs in the world, just after soldiers and firefighters?” She continued: “While I've only ever put out one real fire at a wedding, I stomp out emotional fires all the time.”
First off, in order to make sure things go according to the plan and you don’t bury yourself under so much stress you can no longer enjoy the moment, Rhiann suggests hiring a professional wedding planner. “It is the number one thing you can do to keep your wedding and stress levels in check. Professionals spend on average 250 hours planning each wedding. Unless you have the time to do this, finding the time is stressful enough without adding all the doubt surrounding wedding etiquette.”
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Having said that, Rhiann believes that planning your wedding can truly be a wonderful experience where you learn about what you want to share with your guests about your couple. “Do you love food? Focus on that. Are you big into music? Hire a great band. Love yellow? Be original with your color palette. No matter what, don't lose sight of the fact that weddings are parties where 2 people have fallen so much in love that they just have to celebrate it with their friends and family!”
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The professional wedding planner reminds everyone that “Love is at the core, and if you remember that and focus on what you love while letting a professional handle the nitty gritty, you won't ever become the dreaded B word!”
Speaking of the dreaded B word, there are just too many bridezilla stories surfing around not to ask Rhiann about it. “A bridezilla is someone who loses her cool when it comes to wedding planning, usually snapping at friends, family, and suppliers when these people are only trying to help,” she explained.
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Moreover, a bridezilla should not be confused with a demanding bride since “it's a most important day, and it's entirely NORMAL to have particular and important desires.” Rhiann continued that “a bridezilla, though, is a DIFFICULT bride because of the way she expresses those desires and treats those involved in the wedding plans with hostility, belittlement, or lack of appreciation.”
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The second after the bride comes the bridesmaid. “A bridesmaid is one of the most important roles you can be honored with in the life of a friendship,” Rhiann told us.
As a bridesmaid, “you should be excited, support the union, and let the bride know that! The Maid of Honor is the most important bridesmaid. It is her job to plan the bachelorette party and to make sure all the bridesmaids are getting the right clothes, shoes, earrings for each event so that the bride doesn't have to.”
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All the bridesmaids have a lot of responsibilities coming at them on the big day. Rhiann says that “bridesmaids need to show up, be on time, and make the day and wedding events all about the bride.” Simultaneously, they shouldn’t forget that “It's not their time to shine, they are the supporting role to the leading lady, and should boost, never take away from the spotlight.”
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Bored Panda also spoke to Roberta Torresan, a professional wedding planner and designer based in Rome, Italy who specializes in gorgeous luxury weddings. Roberta said that it’s no secret that “some brides-to-be tend to get very obsessed by the small details of their wedding, and sometimes they take it to the extreme. Perhaps it is because they really want to have everything under control but they cannot manage the planning process properly.”
When asked how to not turn your wedding into a stressful experience, Roberta said that it’s not easy since “no brides or grooms (99%) have ever planned a wedding before. So asking for help is ok, but sometimes this solution might be worse than the problem.”
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The wedding planner continued: “You may want to hire a professional planner, but be careful, are you really willing to let a planner take care of your own wedding? Sometimes I prefer to be honest and suggest that a bride plan her wedding by herself,” Roberta told us.
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When it comes to being an excellent bridesmaid, Roberta said the responsibilities include not only standing with the bride all day long and helping her in various ways, but also giving a hand during “the planning process, especially when no planners have been hired.”
“My suggestion is to listen to the bride's requests and try to please her without questions. It's her wedding,” the luxury wedding planner concluded.