Weddings have a way of bringing out the worst in some people. But generally, after the big day has passed and the dust has settled, things go back to normal. That wasn't the case for one bride who says her relationship with her mother has been irrevocably changed since walking down the aisle.
The woman has revealed how her mother showed her true colors as soon as she got engaged. The final straw was when 'Momzilla' secretly contacted the bakery and changed the cake order to suit her own taste. In a series of online posts, the angry daughter shared exactly how the drama unfolded. Reflecting on her wedding day a year later, she had some sage advice for engaged couples.
Move over Bridezillas, there's a new monster in town...
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Henceforth known as Momzilla, she secretly changed her daughter's wedding cake to suit her own taste
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The bride reiterated that it wasn't about the cake but rather the breach of boundaries
Some people advised the bride to give all wedding vendors a secret password
The woman provided an update shortly after the wedding and revealed where things now stand with her mom
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She explained why she chose not to change the cake back to what she'd originally ordered
People had mixed reactions, with some feeling the parents had a say because they paid
The woman gave another update a year after the wedding and had some sage advice for engaged couples
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Pay-to-say: Are parents still footing the bill for their children's weddings? Data seems to suggest so
Wedding traditions have changed quite drastically over the past few decades, and many couples are opting to do things their own way. But according to data released by financial service firm Northwestern Mutual, many parents are still paying for the celebrations. On average, notes the firm, parents contribute more than half of their child's wedding budget.
Wedding planner Tzo Ai Ang of Ang Weddings and Events backs this up by revealing that most of her clients' parents pay for the bulk—and oftentimes all—of the expenses.
"I do have some weddings that are paid for only by the couple, but that is the minority. The majority of the couples I work with, the parents are paying," explains Ang.
Another wedding planner, Nancy Park of So Happi Together, says that "about 30 to 40% of our couples have parents contribute to the wedding day, and some pay for most or all of it."
Experts say that while parents are spending a whack of cash (the average wedding in the United States comes in at around $33,000), this doesn't necessarily give them the right to run the show.
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"Ultimately, the big day belongs to the happy couple—no matter who is paying," says Tom Gilmour, a certified financial planner from Northwestern Mutual. "Reminding your child that you’re footing the bill will only foster resentment and have them regret your involvement, which is likely the opposite of what you want."
Gilmour advises parents to be clear from the beginning if they'd like their hard-earned money to be used in a particular way.
"And if there’s anything you’re not comfortable paying for, say so upfront," he adds. "That way, you can avoid any surprises when it comes time to put down deposits or pay bills."
The financial expert warns that couples and their parents probably aren't going to agree on all the wedding details. Sometimes, he says, it's best for parents - even if they're paying - to bite their tongues.
"Do your best to show your support and generosity by reserving judgment if the couple makes a choice you don’t agree with—even if that choice ends up not working out as expected," Gilmour suggests. "In the end, the wedding should reflect the tastes and sensibilities of your child and their partner, for better or for worse."
He adds that if there is a detail that really rubs you up the wrong way, you are allowed to express your opinion.
"But choose your battles wisely," he warns. "Since you can’t expect to choose—or even have a say in—every single aspect of your child’s wedding."
"I love your advice!": Many agreed that some weddings just aren't worth the drama
In a final update, the woman admitted that she should have trusted her initial gut feeling
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"Flawed, selfish and childish": People had a lot to say about it, and some had warnings about the future
