Weddings have a way of testing friendships, family ties, and the limits of good manners. Between guest lists, budgets, and fragile egos, it's not uncommon for people to feel overlooked. But every so often, a story comes along that manages to surprise even the most seasoned wedding attendees. Posted on the subreddit r/weddingshaming by MaudeDib, this tale of a bride who asked an acquaintance's child to be a flower girl—while explicitly uninviting the mother—highlights how a sweet tradition can be twisted into a logistical and emotional mess.
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The tradition of having a flower girl dates back centuries and is a sweet way to include a young loved one in the wedding
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
But this mom thinks her friend wanted to “employ” her daughter just for the visual effect
Image credits: benzoix (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MaudeDib
The idea behind having a flower girl is to include the children of those close to you, not to use her as a prop for pictures
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
To those of you who might not be familiar with the tradition, a flower girl is a young attendant who walks down the aisle after the ring bearer and before the bride and lays down petals. Many people choose nieces or the children of close friends to perform the duty.
Usually, flower girls are between three and seven years old and tend to be the youngest member of the bridal party.
In addition to tossing petals as she walks down the aisle, a flower girl is also expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner alongside her parents. (Many brides also invite their flower girl to get ready with them in the morning of the day of.) To avoid situations like this one, many couples choose children whose mother or father is already in the bridal party.
A flower girl usually wears a mid- or tea-length gown and a floral wreath or hair ribbon. They also tend to carry a basket of flowers. If a bride doesn't want the flower girl to lay down petals, she can also carry a small bouquet.
According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, a flower girl's parents are usually the ones to pay for her dress and accessories (excluding flowers).
But it's thought to be a nice way to include children close to the couple in their special day. Judging from the post, "Becky" was more concerned with the aesthetic of her ceremony and not the people attending, or in our case, cast overboard.
People were appalled by the bride's request
