“I Felt Betrayed”: Bride's Friends And Family Shocked To See A Random Guy At The Altar

Unfortunately, some romantic stories—whether lasting a couple of years or an entire decade—are not meant to become a happily ever after. But that doesn’t mean one can’t find happiness with someone else.

This redditor’s friend ended a relationship with her long-term partner, who she was even planning on marrying. While that in itself might not be surprising, what was is the fact that she attended the wedding without him and married a different groom instead. Scroll down for the full story.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with an Associate Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at The University of New Hampshire, Dr. Tyler Jamison, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on romantic relationships and long-term commitment.

Image source: CertainPerformance56

According to Dr. Tyler Jamison, choosing a life partner is perhaps the most crucial decision we make, which should be accompanied by thoughtful consideration of what one needs to build a fulfilling life and finding a trustworthy companion for that journey.

“There are many lists of qualities to look for—or red flags to avoid— in a partner,” she said. “Based on years of experience as a relationship scientist and educator, I think the most important questions to ask before making a lifelong commitment are: firstly, do you fundamentally trust this person? Secondly, do you like who you are when you are with them? And thirdly, can you be completely yourself around them and do they accept you for who you are?”

These questions are important to think about because sometimes even if we care for someone deeply, they might not be the right person for a long-term commitment. “Sometimes we love someone, yet find that we can’t create a life together due to unhealthy patterns of interaction. Trusting your heart or intuition when it signals that it’s time to end a relationship helps prevent getting stuck in unfulfilling or unhealthy dynamics. While breakups are painful, they’re a normal part of life,” the expert told Bored Panda.

While there’s always the what if scenario, no couple starts their relationship or plans to take it to the next level thinking that it will fail. However, that’s quite often the case, sometimes even after years of staying together. While studies show that the longer the relationship, the more likely it is to last (compared to its very beginning, at least) chances of people going their separate ways are unfortunately never zero.

Be that as it may, the chances of meeting someone new are arguably also not a round 0. Many people who’ve gone through a relationship ending find another significant other over time. Take marriage, for instance; while the percentage of remarried people is higher among those of older age, people of all ages can and have said “I do” for the second time, Pew Research Center reports.

According to said source, back in 2013, roughly two-thirds of people aged 55 to 64 who’ve been married before have taken the step for the second time; out of those 65 and older, roughly half did. As for the younger demographic, by the same year, roughly 42% of people 35 and younger who’ve previously been married or were widowed decided to remarry.

In the case of the OP’s friend, it was the first marriage, but it wasn’t the groom most of her friends expected to see standing by her side on the big day. Looking in hindsight, with all the information they learned later, the woman’s friends believed she did the right thing by choosing “Michael” over “John”, which likely happened because of the things she learned or realized in her previous relationship.

According to the licensed marriage and family therapist Stephen J. Betchen, “Knowing yourself and who you are attracted to on the deepest level is the way to prevent replication; it may be the key to avoiding a poor choice the second time around.”

The OP revealed that the bride had had thoughts about leaving “John” while in the relationship, but she likely felt somewhat obligated to marry him after spending so many years together. Coming from society, people around them, or sometimes even the person themselves, the pressure to marry, have children, or take any other important step in life can be a significant factor to some (or at least food for thought and quite often—anxiety).

Whether or not that pressure is a valid reason to marry, for instance, remains a personal choice; but some reasons to take the step seem to be more common than others. According to a survey on why people get married or move in with a partner, the majority do it because of—you guessed it—love. But one-in-five people reportedly marry because they want to test the relationship, and one-in-ten do it out of convenience.

“Scott Stanley and his colleagues proposed the ‘inertia hypothesis,’ which suggests that some couples decide to marry based on the momentum of their relationship,” Dr. Jamison explained. “Essentially, they make choices that propel them forward (such as moving in together), but without pausing to thoroughly evaluate their compatibility. As a result, they may end up married to someone who isn't entirely suitable for them.”

Whether it was love, convenience, or other reasons “Sarah” chose to marry “Michael”, it was seemingly the right thing to do, as even if not on the very first try, they seemed to have found their happily ever after.