Ending a relationship sometimes also means that one has to lose all connections that were formed during it. Admittedly, it can be hard to let go of these friendships and personal attachments that one has invested so much time in. That’s why some people continue to foster them despite no longer being with their ex-partner.
Redditor Throwawaydhdj6582’s girlfriend also stayed close to her late boyfriend’s family and has even introduced them to each other. However, every time he would meet them, the dad would always make strange comments about him, which completely rubbed him the wrong way.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with a relationship expert at Hack Spirit, Tina Fey, who kindly agreed to tell us more about staying in touch with an ex-partner's family.
Some people continue keeping in touch with ex-partner's family despite no longer being in a relationship with them
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This woman also was close to her late boyfriend's family, which completely weirded out her current partner
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Image credits: throwawaydhdj6582
Often, a person forms close relationships with their partner’s family because they are lacking something in theirs
The longer two people are romantically involved, the more likely they are to develop a bond with each other’s family. “Once there is an attachment or connection, dissolving those doesn't always happen just because the partnered relationship ends," says psychologist Ian Goldsmith.
Often, a person forms close relationships with their partner’s family because they are lacking something in theirs. Sometimes ex-partners come from disrupted households, so they try to get support and comfort they couldn't receive from their own family.
In cases where a breakup ended on good terms, it might be easier to stay friends with the ex-partner's family. “If you and your ex are okay with the way things worked out, even after a breakup, then it’s more likely that you’ll be able to befriend each other's families,” relationship and etiquette expert April Masini tells Elite Daily.
Relationship expert at Hack Spirit, Tina Fey, tells Bored Panda that "maintaining ties with an ex-partner's family is not just a simple yes or no decision. It directly depends on the individual bonds you formed with them during the relationship, as well as how the breakup went down. If you got genuine support and love from them, why cut that off?"
However, if staying in touch is a way to get back with or stay connected with an ex, Fey notes it might not be the healthiest choice. "It’s all about why you want to keep those ties."
Overall, it might be best to give things time, as keeping in touch might prevent the person from healing after a loss. “Imagine if every time you see your ex’s sister, she fills you in on how they’re doing,” says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman. “You’re not giving yourself time to heal if you’re continually being thrown into a memory of the relationship or the person.”
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The most important thing to remember is to protect one’s peace
No matter what choice the person makes, the most important thing to remember is to protect one’s peace. "Almost every reasonable person will understand if you need some distance for a while," said psychotherapist Amanda Frey.
"Secondly, focus on your friends and family that maybe you neglected during the relationship, and reconnect with old friends. Third, stay respectful and friendly, even if the other person doesn't feel that way. You'll hopefully be able to retain relationships that you really care about while minimizing the negative emotional impact on yourself."
When the person decides to reconnect with their ex-partner's family, they might start by testing the waters, like phoning them or sending a text. Psychotherapist Nancy Wilson suggests saying, “I hope you’re doing well. I know things have been awkward and challenging, and I want to respect all the emotions involved, but I value the relationship we’ve built over the years and would love to find a way to maintain a connection with you. If you’re comfortable with that, I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
Fey further explains, "If you decide to stay in touch with your ex’s family, there’s one thing you should take care of as soon as possible: clear communication with your ex. Let your ex know it’s not about them but the meaningful connections you formed with their family. Still, it’s important to always respect boundaries, like not sharing too much about your new life or asking about your ex, to keep these relationships healthy and independent."
Assuming that the person manages to remain close to their former partner’s family, they should also think about what happens when a new significant other enters the picture. "Introducing a new partner to your ex-partner’s family can be appropriate, but only if you carefully consider everyone's feelings and the specific dynamics of your relationships," notes Fey.
"You’re the one who knows how they can react, so you have to assess discomfort or strain relationships. A key factor is the nature of your ongoing relationship with your ex’s family. If you've maintained a genuinely independent friendship with them, separate from your past relationship, and if they are open and welcoming, introducing your new partner can be seen as a natural progression of your life sharing," she concludes.
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Some readers believed that his reaction was adequate
Meanwhile, others not so much
