Indeed, physical attraction is necessary in a romantic relationship. However, things can get problematic when it becomes solely about superficial traits, to the point where a person disparages their partner’s looks to fit their own standards.
These things unfortunately happen, much as they did with this couple. According to the girlfriend, her significant other not only repeatedly fat-shamed her but also compared her with other women.
The constant manipulation and putdowns shattered her self-esteem. Fortunately, she eventually came to her senses.
Romantic relationships should revolve solely around physical attraction
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA/Pexels (not the actual photo)
It became a problem for this couple where the woman endured constant fat-shaming and putdowns from her boyfriend
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
After repeated comparisons to other women, she eventually snapped and came to her senses
Image credits: throwra0099909009922
Wanting to change a partner because you think you know what is best for them is misguided and detrimental to the relationship
The boyfriend seemed to believe he had his girlfriend’s best interest in mind, when the reality appeared to be the opposite. According to psychologists Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, doing so is not only selfish but also counterproductive.
“We are working from our own interests, and we want them to think and act in a certain way because it fills our own needs, not theirs,” the two experts stated.
Hoping a significant other would change is a major relationship red flag that may warrant a break-up, according to former psychiatric nurse Jessen James. As he told The Daily Mail in an interview, “If you can't accept someone for who they are, move on.”
“Humanity seeks purpose, so this yearning that your partner will change is simply human nature. But are your expectations in check, or are you simply a bit delusional?”
So, what is the best way to set standards for a partner? As psychotherapist and writer Philippa Perry tells The Guardian, “Don’t have expectations that people will be other than who they are.”
The boyfriend’s comments were clearly damaging to the author’s self-worth, yet he persisted, seemingly thinking nothing of it. Fortunately, she realized the right thing to do and broke things off. Doing it over text was the icing on the cake.
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