Losing the person you'd planned to spend the rest of your life with can be devastating. Many people will try to find ways to stay connected to their spouse after they pass away. Some do this by continuing to wear their wedding ring. But what happens when you get into a new relationship and it starts to get serious?
That's the dilemma one couple is now grappling with... The man's wife passed away from cancer four years ago and he's still not quite over the loss. While his current girlfriend has been supportive, she wants him to take his wedding ring off - or at least wear it on the other hand. She says arguments have ensued over the ring, and her boyfriend is accusing her of being jealous of someone who isn't even alive. Is she asking for too much?
His wife passed away 4 years ago and he's chosen to keep wearing his wedding ring
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
His current GF feels it's inappropriate but he says it's part of who he is and she needs to just accept it
Image credits: stefamerpik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Educational-Part-329
Don't want to wear your wedding ring after your spouse passes? Here are some other options...
What you choose to do with your wedding ring if or when your spouse passes away is completely up to you. Some people wear it for the rest of their lives while others take it off immediately. At the end of the day, it’s not a decision that should be rushed…
If for some reason you don’t want to continue wearing your wedding ring on your ring finger, but aren’t ready to let it go or sell it, there are many other options.
For example, you could simply move it to the other hand. This is a small step towards letting go while still allowing you to feel connected to your spouse who is no longer around. It’s also a way to let others know that your circumstances or relationship status have changed, without you having to say a word.
You could have it redesigned and made into a different piece of jewelry, or you could add a memorial diamond, which is made from your spouse’s ashes.
Another idea is to put it on a chain and wear it around your neck. “This is common practice with widows, more so than with widowers,” reveals estate planning experts AED Attorneys. “It is a good remembrance option since you can keep the ring close to your heart while indicating your marital status.”
If you have children, you could keep the ring as an heirloom to pass onto them after your own passing. However, AED’s team cautions that you’ll need to specify this in your Will to ensure that it goes to the correct person when your estate is wound up. Of course, you could give the ring to one of your children while you are alive, either for when they marry, or for another occasion.
“If you do not feel comfortable wearing your ring anymore and have no idea what to do with it, put it in a safe until you settle the matter in your mind,” advises the site.
Those who feel they are ready to part with their wedding ring could consider selling or donating it. “Many non-profit organisations accept and resell jewellery to fund their operations. If you are open to a good cause, then this may be an option,” the estate planners say. “However, you would need to be comfortable with not knowing where the ring ends up. This may be very difficult for some people.”
Another option is to use your ring as final closure when you're ready. “Send it off ceremoniously,” suggests the AED Attorneys team. “You may like to use your ring in a ceremonial farewell where you cast it into the ocean or bury it in a particular place as a final farewell. Include close friends or family to make this a special occasion.”
Whether or not to keep wearing your wedding ring after your spouse passes away is a deeply personal decision. But according to AED Attorneys, there are a few cases in which you should stop wearing your ring.
"The first is if your wedding ring causes you intense emotional pain, then it would probably be better to remove it and store it somewhere safe until you feel able to face it again," elaborates the site. "The second is in the event of remarriage at a later stage. Continuing to wear the ring may cause your second spouse some unnecessary discomfort, even if they don’t say it, in which case it would be better not to wear it at all."
Image credits: pressfoto (not the actual photo)
Many felt the BF wasn't ready to move on and some advised the woman to leave
