The one thing your partner should always expect from you is honesty. It doesn’t have to be brutal; it can be gentle and kind. But if you truly love someone, you’ll never want to mislead them. Because as we all know, the truth has an amazing way of coming out, sooner or later.
One woman’s world was turned upside down when she finally confirmed that her boyfriend had been lying about certain aspects of his personal life. Now, she’s wondering if it’s time to throw away the entire relationship. Below, you’ll find the full story that she shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
This woman has always been skeptical of the story her boyfriend told about his upbringing
And now that she knows it wasn’t true, she’s wondering if their entire relationship was a lie
Less than a day later, the author returned with a shocking update
She also shared more details about her situation in the comments
Readers were appalled by the man's behavior, and many warned the author that she'll never be able to trust him
After deciding that a breakup was necessary, the author returned with another update
Honesty is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship
According to a study from the University of Wisconsin-LA Crosse, the majority of people tell between zero and two lies per day. However, the top 1% of liars are telling an average of 17 fibs every day, and lying accounts for about 7% of all communication.
The vast majority of these lies are seemingly harmless little white lies, but the motive behind telling lies varies from person to person. Some do so to avoid others, while some tell fibs as a joke or a prank.
People also often tell lies to protect themselves, to appear more impressive or favorable, or to protect another person. And finally, there’s a small subset of people who lie for personal benefit, for the benefit of another person, to hurt another person, or for no specific reason at all.
But not all lies are equal. There’s a huge difference between telling a stranger you’ve seen a movie that you didn’t actually watch and lying to your partner about a key aspect of your upbringing. Verywell Mind notes that honesty is absolutely crucial in a romantic relationship.
Not only do you have to be honest with your partner, but you also have to be honest with yourself. It’s important to sort through and understand your own feelings, so you can express them accurately to your partner. Honesty is also key to ensuring that the relationship is authentic.
Both parties should feel comfortable being their true selves, and they shouldn’t be scared of expressing their feelings or concerns. Plus, having a solid foundation of honesty helps build trust. Everyone should trust that their partner will be forthcoming about whatever they’re feeling, so that they never have to wonder about what’s really going on in their mind.
Lying to your partner can cause irreparable damage to the relationship
On the other hand, if you find out that your partner has been lying about something important, it can cause irreparable damage to the relationship. The Couples Center warns that lying can obliterate trust in a relationship. It may have taken years or decades to build that trust, but it can all be gone in an instant when the truth comes out.
Lying to your partner is self-protective, meaning that it puts your own needs above the needs of the relationship. It’s unfair to your partner to hide things from them or try to control their access to the truth. They deserve to know all parts of you, regardless of how scary that might be.
Finding out about a partner’s lies can send someone spinning. They might begin second-guessing themself and wondering if the entire relationship was a lie. Meanwhile, keeping secrets can be damaging too, as the person holding onto them will constantly be worrying about the truth coming out.
In this particular situation, it sounds like the boyfriend might even be a pathological liar, or someone who tells lies compulsively. We cannot diagnose him from a keyboard, of course, but he does appear to tell lies frequently, for no apparent reason, without guilt or remorse. Unfortunately, this means that he might never be able to be trusted.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another article from Bored Panda featuring similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Again, readers noted that the man exhibited glaring red flags
