Relationships,CouplesFEB 26, 2026

"Selfishness And Vanity Are Positive Qualities": Guy Breaks Up With GF Who's Obsessed With Social Media

Dominyka Proškėnaitė and Kornelija Viečaitė

In this day and age, it's hard to have a social life if you don't have social media. According to the Pew Research Center, up to 71% of Americans are on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Some just like to keep up with family and friends, but others share a good portion of their everyday lives.

This woman liked to share a little bit too much of her life online, at least according to her boyfriend. He said she would make about 20 posts a day, and her behavior was making him see her as shallow and vain. He tried to solve the problem by deleting the apps, but that only made his entire relationship explode.

A guy complained to his GF about her potential social media dependence

Image credits: lookstudio (not the actual image)

He said her online persona made him dislike her and question whether he wanted to be with her

Image credits: SkelDry (not the actual image)

Image credits: June Aye (not the actual image)

Image credits: throwawayveg8779

People consider more than five posts a day to be oversharing and often unfollow friends who do so

Having a social media presence is quite normal these days. Some people don't even post or share anything; they just lurk on Facebook or Reddit and click the occasional "Like" button. But others spend a significant amount of time online.

In the UK, for example, it's estimated that adults spend around two hours on social media per day. In the U.S., the number is similar: two hours and 16 minutes. Globally, internet users spent around 141 minutes per day on social media in 2025.

So, what exactly constitutes a dependence on social media? If we're all on it for more than two hours a day, doesn't that mean we're all slightly dependent on it? In one study, when researchers asked college-aged participants what they considered oversharing on social media, the most common answer was that posting more than five times a day was too much.

People also don't shy away from cutting off people if they overshare on social media. 67.1% of the participants in the study said they unfollowed or unfriended someone because they posted too much. 60.2% also did the same when their friends shared too much personal information about themselves, like "medical issues, politics, relationships, and overly-emotional statements."

Image credits: Swello (not the actual image)

The effects of social media overuse can be similar to those of harmful substances

With all that in mind, just because someone overshares doesn't mean they have an unhealthy social media dependence. Social media works in ways that are habit-forming, and, in some ways, it was designed to be that way.

Research shows that some people may be more prone to obsessive use of social media. Those who have low self-esteem and mental health issues may spend more time checking their social media feeds compulsively and spend excessive amounts of time there. Experts say that infinite scrolling and personalized notifications also contribute to people developing a dependence on social media.

A 2025 study explored how using social media affects our bodies. The researchers found that it was similar to dependence on harmful substances. When the participants used Instagram, their heart rates slowed and sweating increased. That indicated how immersed they were in an activity that was meaningful to them and how excited they were.

When the participants were asked to get off Instagram and read a news article, their sweating and heart rates would increase. They reported feeling anxious and stressed and wanted to continue scrolling through their feed. The researchers observed that a similar response happens with withdrawal during abstinence.

However, they wouldn't go as far as to call this an unhealthy obsession. "Instead, we believe that social media offers very powerful rewards," co-author Niklas Ihssen, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychology at Durham University, explained.

Judging by their previous study, the team thinks that it's social connection and friendship that social media users find obsessively compelling. "Social media taps into basic human needs: we all want to belong and to be liked."

However, they admit that excessive use of social media can negatively impact people's work performance and relationships. "We may be just fine abstaining or cutting down from social media for a while without experiencing dramatic changes to our wellbeing (either positive or negative)," Ihssen went on. "The reason for this is that in contrast to [substances], we can satisfy our needs through other means – for instance, by talking to people."