It’s tough to admit that you’re stuck in a toxic relationship with a controlling jerk. But it’s better to realize this sooner rather than later. They might keep their dark side hidden, but all it really takes is one bizarre encounter for the scales to fall from your eyes and see your partner’s true colors.
A woman went viral after she shared how her boyfriend started raging when she used a mobility scooter due to her injury. Read on to find out how things escalated from there and for an incredibly cathartic update.
Your partner may be deeply toxic, but they hid it well up to this point
This woman shared how she saw her boyfriend's shocking true colors, all thanks to an injury she sustained
Leaving an unhealthy relationship might sound obvious, but it is hard to do
The woman’s boyfriend displayed a few very concerning patterns of behavior. These include disrespecting her choices, saying that she embarrasses him, trying to control her actions, behaving aggressively, communicating improperly, and giving her an ultimatum.
He is a walking-talking billboard for toxicity. Nobody should have to endure this type of treatment. And if you happen to be stuck in an unhealthy relationship with someone similar, you may want to consider prioritizing your mental well-being and dignity, and leaving. However, leaving is hardly ever simple, even if you understand what is best for you. But you should not blame yourself for not leaving sooner.
Toxic relationships tend to revolve around power and control. According to Jamie Cannon, MS, LPC, the fear of being alone, of other people’s opinions, and of starting over plays a key role in why individuals choose to stay in unhealthy relationships.
“For some individuals, these relationships can initially appear to check all the right boxes (depending on how sophisticated the toxic individual really is)—and, for those who have historically struggled to find fulfilling relationships, the idea that ‘this finally seems like the on’” can be irresistible,” Cannon explains.
“This is an ideal setup for power and control dynamics to come into play: One person feels almost desperate for a relationship to work out, while the other senses a situation where power can be usurped for personal gain.”
Toxic significant others display their red flag behaviors overtly, as well as more subtly
A few red flags to keep an eye for when it comes to toxic relationships include a sense of unease when thinking about the future, trouble having serious conversations with your partner, and feeling one-sided responsibility for the relationship.
Other worrisome signs include your partner’s family and friends warning you about them, and your arguments never coming to a comfortable resolution.
“Communication is a definitive cornerstone for healthy relationships, and learning how to disagree respectfully is vital. If you’re constantly feeling discomfort when you bring up a different opinion, or you get the sense you need to tread very carefully when it comes to disagreeing, it could be a sign of a toxic relationship. Learning how to ‘fight fair’ is a process, but it should be one that moves forward—not one that gets stuck on a repeat cycle with no end in sight,” Cannon says.
Meanwhile, John Kim, LMFT, aka The Angry Therapist, warns that toxic relationships can sometimes go unnoticed. What’s more, they can be rationalized as normal. This is dangerous.
From Kim’s perspective, the biggest signs that a relationship is toxic include:
- The loss of self and feeling powerless
- Subtle control and manipulation
- Persistent negativity
- Jealousy and possessiveness
- Feeling trapped and disconnected from your true self
- Feeling like your personal growth is stunted
We want to hear from you, too, Pandas. Once you’ve finished reading the entire post and other internet users’ comments, share your thoughts below. What did you think of the entire situation, and how would you have handled things if you were in the woman’s shoes? Have you ever dated someone deeply toxic, and if so, how long did it take for their real behavior to shine through their fake facade?
The author opened up in the comments. She revealed more details and context
People were shocked by the man's behavior
The drama definitely did not stop there. Here's how things rapidly escalated from there
The author clarified a few more things afterward
Here's what the internet said after reading the spicy follow-up post
