Many people know what it’s like to have a few too many drinks. You say or do things you wouldn’t normally say or do, and regret them later. A 2015 study of college students showed that about 66% of young people have engaged in at least one regrettable social behavior while intoxicated.
Oversharing is one of the social blunders often associated with getting tipsy, and this woman fell victim to that in the worst possible way. During a work party, she shared a story about her past that painted her in a poor light. When the word got around to her boyfriend, he seriously reconsidered their relationship.
A woman got drunk at a work party and overshared with her colleagues about her past
Image credits: DC_Studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
When her colleague told her boyfriend, it made him see her in a new light
Image credits: KarinaBost/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAVerano
Commenters called out the woman and deemed her behavior inappropriate: “You showed the real you”
Others sympathized with the woman and didn’t think a little overshare while tipsy was that deep
Many people have said or done something they regret while drunk at work events
Mixing a work event and alcohol is never a good idea. Drinking often leads to bad decisions, and there’s no worse place to make those than in front of your boss, colleagues, and other people you’re generally trying to impress.
That said, drinking alcohol is still the norm at work parties in America. According to a survey conducted by Niznik Behavioral Health, about 88% of employees drink alcohol at company events. What might be worrying is that about 20% even admit to binge drinking.
Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The OP in this story is the only person who has talked a little bit too much while drunk at a work party. The aforementioned study found that 14% of American workers have revealed a secret to their coworkers after getting too tipsy at a corporate event, and about 9% said they embarrassed themselves in other ways.
That is the nature of alcohol, it seems — it makes us more susceptible to spilling our guts to people we shouldn’t. A 2020 Global survey also found that women tend to regret getting drunk more than men. On average, almost 40% of women worldwide had done something they regretted while drunk, while only 30% of men said the same. While the biggest regret people have is drinking too much and having a terrible hangover the day after, saying something embarrassing is the second most common regret that people have.
Women are more likely than men to experience shame and remorse after drinking
Still, the fact that women feel more ashamed of drinking and spilling secrets tells us something about our society. According to Dr. Sharon Cox with the UCL Institute of Epidemiology & Health Care, women get judged for their behavior while drunk more harshly than men do.
“Women’s drinking is more heavily stigmatised,” she explains, “and that this stigma can be internalised, contributing to real-world evidence of stronger feelings of guilt and remorse.” Women, and especially mothers, experience more guilt, “probably because of the endless societal fascination with female ‘transgressions,’” Cox posits.
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo)
In this story, the OP might’ve been disproportionately judged by both her boyfriend and her coworkers because she’s a mother. The behavior she exhibited is deemed “unbecoming” to someone who has two children to take care of, more so because her verbal slip-up was about how her children were conceived. It’s hard to say how her words would’ve been received if she were a father speaking these words — perhaps a girlfriend would’ve broken up with her boyfriend for the oversharing just the same.
Nevertheless, women who have a drinking problem are also less likely to seek help for it. Because of the same stigma of being seen as failed mothers, carers, and “unfeminine,” women are more likely to hide their dependency or not think of it as problematic. About 47% of such women think their drinking problem will resolve itself, and seek help from rehab centers or 12-step programs less often than men.
“Women are more likely than men to drink alone and to hide how much they consume,” clinical psychologist Dr. Lori Washton explains. “The reasons are deeply tied to how society views women who drink too much: as bad mothers, as irresponsible, as morally failing. This stigma is so powerful that many women will endure years of escalating problems before seeking help.”
Nevertheless, the boyfriend had made up his mind and wanted to break up
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Image credits: ThrowRAVerano
Commenters congratulated the OP for her decision to quit alcohol and work on herself
Others cautioned the OP to be more tactful in the future: “Coworkers aren’t your friends”
