All of us distribute our money differently. Some of us are spenders, others are savers. When we go out with friends, some of us budget every dollar and share it equally, while others do the reverse and follow the "now I pay, next time you buy me something" mindset. Now, everything changes once you get into a relationship or move in together. There is no right or wrong answer as to who should pay and for what, but it is crucial to determine this, have a discussion, and resolve the matter now rather than later when it might be more difficult.
More info: Reddit
Woman wonders if she was being a jerk after refusing to pay the same price for her boyfriend as she would pay for an Uber
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
The woman claims that it is the same as if her partner made her a cup of coffee at home, she wouldn't pay the same price as she would at a coffee shop
Image credits: u/Topayornot
Image credits: Kei Scampa (not the actual image)
She agreed to contribute to fuel costs, but not as much as she would pay for Uber service
Image credits: u/Topayornot
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual image)
She ended up giving him half of Uber price; however, her boyfriend wasn't happy about it
Reddit user “Topayornot” shared her story to one of the most judgmental groups asking if she was being a jerk after her boyfriend asked her to pay £20 (around $25) for driving her home after work and she refused. This post has more than 16.1K upvotes and almost 3.2K comments from the community members.
The author starts her story by saying that she is working temporarily in a different location than usual and it costs £20 (around $25) to come back home after work. Additionally, the author remarked that it’s approximately a 30-minute trip and 20 miles. After mentioning the price to her boyfriend from time to time, he offered to pick her up after work.
Once they came back home, the boyfriend requested that OP pay him. Of course, there is no issue with covering petrol costs, as the woman said. However, he asked for the same amount of money as she would pay for the Uber service. The reason for this was because he went out of his way in order to pick her up and she would give £20 to the Uber driver anyway.
The story ended with her giving him £10, but unfortunately it didn’t make him happy. The author used an example, stating that she also wouldn’t pay the Starbucks price for a coffee which her boyfriend made at home.
The community members defended the author and gave her “Not the A-hole” badge. One of the users shared her personal story: “My friend called me the other day and said it was $85 for an Uber home. I joked, 'give me the $85 and I'll go pick you up!' He said he'd give me $40, to which I replied, 'no, dude. I'll pick you up.' It took me 40 minutes each way because of traffic (Southern California, so I didn't even travel many miles), but he's my friend and needed help, so I did it. I can't believe OP's boyfriend is charging her!”
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
In the comment section, it is visible that the author was confused by such behavior from her boyfriend and was discussing the issue with the community members. They even suggested breaking up with him as it looks like he is not capable of being kind. “No way I'd demand a monetary transaction for doing something nice for someone I'm in a relationship with,” one user added.
Additionally, Bored Panda contacted Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue, who is a dating, relationship, and lifestyle advice show host, published author, certified coach, blogger and advice columnist and she kindly agreed to share her professional insights regarding this situation.
“Well, this is a first for me to hear that a man wants his girlfriend to pay a fare for picking her up,” started Susan. She added that it is definitely not a romantic gesture and it wouldn’t make a woman feel special for having to pay her own boyfriend Uber prices. “The fact that she offers to pay for gas is considerate, especially if she doesn't have a car and her boyfriend does most of the driving. That shows that she respects his time and appreciates that it is expensive to run a car.”
Additionally, the expert added that “His 'Uber actions' here are making their relationship more like a business deal, rather than him just doing something for her out of the kindness of his heart. She can order her own Uber!” Now, speaking about money and what issues it may cause when you are in a relationship: “It is important that a couple is on board with how they compromise when it comes to dealing with shared finances.”
Susan shared a few of her suggestions on how to avoid arguments regarding this topic. “There shouldn't be over-the-top expectations without having any discussion regarding certain payments. Both people should contribute financially to their partnership but different salaries may require some adjustments. As long as no one is taking advantage of the other, arguments can be avoided,” she emphasized.
Finally, “It always works well when both people in a partnership pitch in what they can afford in a financial sense and have some sort of budget plan to adhere to. The last thing you want is to have endless conversations about what is or isn't happening when it comes to money in your relationship. Picking your partner up from work and then charging them a fare is definitely not going to inspire a sexy evening upon returning home.”
Also, don’t forget to check out Susan’s website, YouTube channel, Facebook and contact information for professional coaching advice services!
Commenters defended the woman in this situation and shamed her boyfriend for his behavior
