For some people, a soulmate is someone who shares the same interests, quirks, and silly things to laugh about. It’s as if they have their own little world outside everyone else's, where only the two of them exist and communicate.
This is what a woman saw between her boyfriend and childhood best friend after seeing them together. It got to the point where she felt left out when they were together, and she regretted introducing them in the first place.
Now, she is turning to Reddit for answers and possible solutions on what to do next.
For many people, finding your soulmate means connecting with someone you have a lot in common with
A woman felt she saw this happen between her boyfriend and childhood best friend
She is so bothered by their closeness that she is worried about leaving them alone together
Another problem is that she doesn’t get to spend as much time with her boyfriend as her best friend could
The woman has since turned to Reddit to find some answers
Micro-cheating goes beyond mere flirtatious exchanges
Many ruined relationships begin with micro-cheating. People think they’re not explicitly being unfaithful with a partner, but what they don’t realize is that they are planting seeds of infidelity through seemingly harmless actions.
Experts say it’s not just flirtatious exchanges on social media.
"Micro-cheating is the small behaviors that can sometimes be hard to pinpoint or prove that indicate there are boundary violations in a relationship," clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Burrets told CBS News. "For example, revealing too much personal information to someone that you see regularly.”
Dr. Burrets points out that micro-cheating doesn’t necessarily stem from unhappiness in the relationship. According to her, it can also stem from personal insecurities.
"While it might be something about your relationship that is unfulfilling, it also could be something about yourself, your own life, your own self-esteem and your own satisfaction overall, that is compelling you to kind of get that attention fed elsewhere," she noted.
According to the author, her best friend had become close enough to her boyfriend that they apparently kept secrets from her. Based on her account, none of them seem to realize the repercussions of micro-cheating.
Dr. Burrets adds that it can lead the erring partner to essentially quiet quit the relationship because they no longer have the energy to manage two romantic interests at once.
“If we continue to put our energy in sources outside of our relationship, we only have so much bandwidth. And the danger is that we would neglect the nurturing and care of our own primary relationship,” she said.
Couples must redefine boundaries if micro-cheating has occurred
Crossing boundaries is one of the quickest ways to lose someone’s trust. In many romantic relationships, this could be a deal breaker. However, the couple can take steps to move past these unpleasant episodes.
As licensed marriage and family therapist Claudia de Llano tells Very Well Mind, one step to repairing the damage is redefining boundaries. This can involve discussing whether to stay monogamous or open the relationship.
However, de Llano emphasizes that it can only happen if both partners are willing to do what is necessary to fix the problem.
“Partners must take responsibility, make amends, and work on rebuilding communication with each other,” she said.
So if the author wants to continue with an exclusive relationship with her boyfriend, she may need to limit his interactions with her best friend. Their friendship may never be the same again, but that would be the consequence of the overstepped boundaries.
Comments poured in, some of which the author addressed
An update came shortly after, which confirmed some of the woman’s suspicions
And despite the betrayal, she says she isn’t willing to cut her friend out of her life
People had varying reactions to the new developments
The woman shared a final mini update in the comments
