No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, you should be able to trust them. If they tell you where they’re going, you shouldn’t feel the need to double-check. And if they tell you that the woman they’re always texting is just their childhood best friend, you shouldn’t have to worry about her.
But one woman’s gut kept telling her that there was something her boyfriend and his best friend were hiding. And sadly, her suspicions turned out to be true. Below, you’ll find the full story that the woman shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
This woman was fine with her boyfriend inviting his childhood best friend to visit
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
But once she saw the two of them interact, she began to wonder if they were hiding something
Image credits: cookie_studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Bizon / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway94197
Readers warned the author not to get too jealous, and some encouraged her to simply address her concerns
Then, the author returned with an update
Image credits: benzoix / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Camandona / Magnific (not the actual photo)
She also shared a text that she decided to send her boyfriend
Image credits: throwaway94197
Readers became concerned about the relationship, and many noted that it might be best to just end it here
Finally, the author shared one last update
Image credits: benzoix / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway94197
It can take a long time to build trust in a relationship
While trust should be present from the onset of a relationship, it takes time to really prove to someone that you mean what you say. You can’t always expect people to have faith in you from your first meeting, especially if they have been burned in the past. All you can do is try to establish a pattern of trustworthy behavior, and do everything in your power not to mess that up.
When it comes to building trust in a romantic relationship, therapist Fiachra O’Sullivan, LMFT, notes that it’s important to establish both cognitive and felt trust. “Cognitive trust is what you know,” he explains. This can be seen by real-life examples, such as knowing that your partner is faithful, that they pay the bills on time, and that they always take care of you when you’re sick.
Felt trust, on the other hand, is what your body knows. This is what allows your body to relax around them and to sleep well at night. This allows you to not worry when they leave the house for hours and to look forward to them coming home from a long trip. But without having both kinds of trust present, a relationship will be in jeopardy.
The author of this story knows that her boyfriend loves her, and she has many examples to prove that. But there’s something inside of her that just can’t shake the feeling that he and his best friend are hiding something. And it turns out, she was right.
O’Sullivan also warns that trust can be built by many small moments, but it can just as easily be eroded by micro-moments. For example, you ask your partner for their opinion on something, and they simply say, “Whatever you think,” without even glancing up from their phone. Or you want to vent about your day, and they say that they’re tired of your complaining.
Always remember to follow your intuition in relationships
Being in a relationship shouldn’t be hard, but it does take effort. And if you feel like your partner is straying or has feelings for someone else, it might be time to consider whether or not the relationship is really worth it.
Women Rise Chicago says that you should always trust your gut in romantic relationships. If you feel drained after spending time with your partner, their words don’t match their actions, you have to walk on eggshells around them, you feel uneasy about how they treat others, your body tenses up around them, and you constantly have to justify their behavior, those are bad signs.
Your gut is a guide, and honoring your intuition might save you a lot of heartache in the future. It’s never easy to accept that your partner might have feelings for someone else or that they’re not telling you the full truth about your relationship. But ignoring that gut feeling will only create more issues.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you want to read another article from Bored Panda featuring similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Readers left supportive messages and assured the woman that she's better off alone
Later, readers who saw the post reshared weighed in with their thoughts on the situation too
