There's an old saying, 'The only way to a person's heart is through the stomach.' Whether it's a PB & J sandwich or an easy-to-make mac & cheese — there's no better way to show how much you appreciate someone than filling their belly with homemade food. And yet: who could have thought that the stomach is an equally fast way out from someone's bloody heart?
A Reddit user by the name of TheElderAgrippina learned this the hard way. For three and a half lovely months, 22-year-old "John" did not complain about the meals his vegan girlfriend was preparing. However, things quickly went out of hand as soon as he learned about the food he was happily munching on that eventful Christmas dinner.
Blamed for "tricking" him into her meatless diet, the author of the story turned to the 'Am I The [Jerk]' subreddit to see if she's as evil as her boyfriend claims her to be.
Girlfriend took care of BF's empty stomach by making great vegan meals they both enjoyed
Image credits: Jasmin Schreiber (not the actual photo)
But things took a sudden turn when he learned that they were actually meat-free
One's love life, like the act of eating, can often get messy. After all, research shows that one and the other are directly linked: when two lovebirds maintain the same diet, whether it's sloppy joes or vegan tofu, they tend to experience more satisfaction in the relationship.
So what happens to couples who aren't so lucky with their partner's eating preferences? Are they doomed to wither like an old bell pepper?
"Not exactly," Marisa Cohen, Ph.D. relationship researcher and the author of 'From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love', reassured Bored Panda. After analyzing u/TheElderAgrippina's case, Cohen thinks that "both people were just under the incorrect assumption" and "both could benefit from reframing the situation as a miscommunication," however difficult that may be. After all, nearly 1 in 3 couples, different eating habits or not, argue about food once in a while.
To support her case, the author filled in the missing gaps
Image credits: TheElderAgrippina
This is what people on the internet had to say about this situation
While it might seem like relationships are doomed to fail when two people have opposing views on such a delicate matter as food—something that we humans attach a lot of our identities to—Cohen insists that there's totally a way to coexist with your meat-eating/tofu-eating loved one.
"There's always an option to order your own dishes from a restaurant you both like, right? Or, if your tastes really diverge, order from two separate places," she pointed out, adding that side dishes and sauces can be an easy answer for couples who haven't given up on their kitchen matters.
Considering that today over 50% of restaurants in the US have meals to satisfy every dietary habit, and that there are a handful of recipes hitting the sweet spot both for vegetarians and meat-eaters—things look quite positive.
"The most important thing is that people are honest with one another, and aren't intentionally trying to deceive or manipulate their partner," Cohen told us. It's also important to remember that when one does the king's share of cooking, power struggles might come into play. That's why experimenting in the kitchen together, trying to see what works "bring people closer together as a couple."
Best part? It was found that a process established early in the relationship for managing food preferences will likely enhance partners' decision-making patterns in the future.
"Even if coming from a good place, such as expanding one's knowledge of new foods or intending to be more health-conscious, if the partner doesn’t want to try it—they should leave it there and not force it upon them," Cohen finally reminded.
After all, we can choose what we put in our mouths and bellies. But we cannot choose whom and what to love.