It’s a sunny morning, and you arrive at work with a smile on your face. You have a good job, great colleagues, and the company culture is pretty fine. But then you get to your desk, start getting through your e-mails, and your face twists. You realize that your boss has left you to take care of another one or two of those long, annoying, and trivial tasks that would be insignificant even for an intern on their first day. If only they would let up for a minute! But instead of doing that, they keep piling on the pressure until you eventually break down. There is nothing worse than being stuck working for someone that you can’t stand. And if that someone is impossible to please and unreasonable, then it can make life at work very difficult despite all the other good things.
But don’t despair yet! We have collected some of the best boss jokes that are sure to help lighten the mood around the office. These jokes about the boss are sure to lift everyone’s spirit and make you burst out laughing! And if, instead of a horrible boss, you actually have a great director who knows how to take a joke, why don’t you share these ones with them too?
(Disclaimer - We don’t take responsibility if you get fired.)
#1 Boss Doesn’t Get It
At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at the coffin. "Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?"
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Report26points
#2 Guess I aimed a bit too high
They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have. My boss still didn’t think a spacesuit was “Appropriate work attire.”
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Report22points
#3 Midweek Mood: Relatable and Real
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late to work this week. Do you know what that means?"
Me: "It's Wednesday?"
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Report21points
#4 Power Move: Silence is Loud
My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers, so I just stared at him until he apologized.
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Report21points
#5 Team spirit: questionably distributed
"And remember," said the boss, "There's no I in TEAM!"
"Yeah," muttered one of the peons, "And there's not much sign of U in it either."
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Report19points
#6 Blessed with Brutal Honesty
I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today. He said "Dream on." I think that was really nice of him.
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Report19points
#7 When “Corona” Means Just a Drink
Boss: "You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Coronavirus. You can't be here until you get tested."
Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus."
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Report18points
#8 Worth the wait, low key
Someone once asked me if I would shoot my boss for $50,000... I said yes, I would definitely do that, but it's going to take me a while to come up with $50,000.
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Report17points
#9 Taking Boss Advice Literally
My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
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Report16points
#10 Powered off but not forgotten
My boss calls me "The computer." Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
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Report15points
#11 Weekend Mode: Immune System on Vacation
Boss: "How is it that you are always sick on weekdays?"
Me: "It’s my weekend immune system."
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Report15points
#12 Hiring The Anti-Hire Expert
Boss: "Why should we hire you as an reverse psychologist?"
Me: "You shouldn’t."
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Report15points
#13 Not the kind of opportunity I wanted
Man says to his boss, "Can we talk? I have a problem."
Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"
Man: "Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity."
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Report15points
#14 Brewed Trouble, No Filter
I got fired from my job at the coffee factory. My boss said it was because I had no filter.
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Report15points
#15 Quietly conquering without the chaos
How do you make people think you’re the boss?
Stand around and do nothing.
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#16 Subtle flex level: expert
I told my boss that I wanted an increase in my paycheck. My next one had a larger font.
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Report15points
#17 Workplace entertainment, unexpected edition
I wonder what your boss has in common with a slinky. Both of them are entertaining to watch fall down the stairs.
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Report15points
#18 This is why he’s irreplaceable
The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but yesterday, this conversation happened.
Boss: "Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?"
Abdul: "Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back."
Today is Abdul's farewell party.
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Report14points
#19 Too wild to handle
I miss the times when I was working at the zoo. My boss fired me just because I left the lion's gate open. I mean who would steal a lion?
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Report14points
#20 Sarcasm: 100% Effective, Apparently
Boss: "Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life!"
Me: "Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011."
Boss: "Really?"
Me: "No."
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Report14points