The body speaks when the lips are sealed. It’s not always the mouth that gives away our covert feelings and intentions but the bodily gestures. The most understudied language might be body language, which makes sense, considering that paying attention to body cues comes second to verbal speech. Yet, reading body language and recognizing body language cues is a skill that goes a long way.
You must have heard of the powerful body language most often noticed in leaders and people in the highest ranks within society. A firm handshake, power pose, and strong eye contact are some of the most well-known body gestures conveying power and strength. As was seen in Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s trial, body language experts are often invited to courtrooms to analyze the body language of the defendant, prosecutor, or witnesses and detect any non-verbal signs of lies and deceit. However, these are just a few perks of understanding and analyzing body language. If you learn how to read body language, you may also be able to tell when someone feels tense, angry, eager, scared, guilty, or any other emotion. To start practicing the art of body language, or kinesics, we looked at a thread on AskReddit, which invited fellow Redditors to share their observations on body language and what they have learned that always proved true.
Below, we’ve compiled some of the most interesting answers from the thread, in which people shared body language reading tips and tricks that have never failed them. Are there any body language tips on the list that you can agree with? Make sure to give them an upvote. Also, are there more body gestures not mentioned below that you genuinely rely on? Share those in the comments.
#1
kablewie said: "If you're in a situation where you have to pretend to be surprised, keep your eyebrows raised for more than a second. That's a telltale sign; genuinely surprised people will keep their face in that state for more than one second."
Commenter replied: "In pretty sure you just made 10,000 people raise their eyebrows and pretend to be shocked at something only to find that they look ridiculous."
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33points
#2
"To me the absolutely most important thing i've learned about 'body language' is that it has to be taken into context (what else are they doing, what are they talking about, who are they talking to, where are they, etc). when first starting to observe it it's easy to take one gesture/posture/expression and go "look! crossed arms! that = defensiveness!" or whatever. But that's only one part of an equation. if body language is an actual language, then "crossed arms" is just one word."
You can't figure out what someone is saying by looking at just one word, you gotta look at the whole sentence."
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24points
#3
Commenter said: "I discovered this one on my own, though I probably wasn't the first. This works for girls and guys:
When someone suddenly sees someone they find attractive, the first thing they usually do is fix their hair. They usually can't stop themselves. It's an instinctive thing, like "oh someone hot, gotta look fly."
So next time you're walking about, and someone fixes their hair right when they first see you, they're attracted to you."
PM_ME_UR_AMOUR replied: "Can confirm. I always do this when looking at the mirror."
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24points
#4
wjbc said: "I'm very skeptical of one-size-fits-all body language interpreters. I do think that individuals have tells, but it varies from person to person."
diaZBackwards replied: "It's pretty frustrating when people try to read you and are completely wrong."
coniferbear answered: "Body language is just that, and most people don't realize it. Language is learned, and can be manipulated by those fluent in it. So when I say that people who lie look you in the eye to see if you believe it or not, trust me (or don't) when I say that I make a subconscious decision to not do just that. Along with that, just like language can have different dialects, subclasses, and vernacular, the same can be said for body language. Sorry, I just flipping love sociolinguistics."
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22points
#5
obeythegiant said: "Thailand, people rarely communicate with their words and instead with their eyes and smiles (everyone speaks, but it's HOW you communicate that you see via body language). This is why Thailand is known as "land of the smile", because everyone here is smiling - but it is only to cover up how angry, sad, depressed, happy, or whatever else they really are but won't tell anyone. Everyone is a "yes man" due to this concept, however their eyes and breathing patterns definitely give away a bit more."
Commenter replied: "A terrific reminder that body language really varies with culture."
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17points
#6
Commenter said: "During a job interview, sit in the same posture your interviewer is sitting in. It gives the impression that you are feeling the same way that they are."
unknown1321 replied: ""I don't think you are right for this job." "My thoughts exactly, sir.""
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16points
#7
bergiebirdman said: "In a quiet room full of people, for example a classroom, scream as loud as you can in your mind. Anyone that winces is a mind reader. You should watch out for them."
csbsju_guyyy replied: "Aaaaand now everyone is mind-screaming."
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16points
#8
turquoiseeit said: "This is a cool switch -- according to Amy Cuddy, changing your posture can change your mindset, and your mindset can change your behavior.
So say, sit in a submissive way for just a couple minutes and, inexplicably, you’re not as likely to make assertive decisions. Now changing to a powerful stance and a couple minutes later with no prompting, you feel like you’re in charge — assertive and comfortable with making high-power decisions, even when they’re a gamble."
JynxasaurusRex replied: "I am so glad you posted this here. Amy Cuddy is amazing! And her stuff is spot on. That TED talk can literally be life changing. Source: I have made a conscious effort to watch my posture and I am utterly blown away by what a difference it makes in how people perceive you. This is like Life Hack 1."
Commenter answered: "I agree! I now do the power-stances very consciously, especially before presentations or interviews. I got my current job, which I never really expected to land, due to my "poise and presence"... which I attribute to being deliberate about my presentation and body language."
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16points
#9
"The most amazing occurrence of body language I've witnessed, was a friend back in high school that could control our group of friends. Whenever we were standing in a circle and he wanted to speak he would simply take a step or two towards the middle. This would cause everyone to quiet down effectively giving him room to speak uninterrupted.
We didn't catch on for a while. But the way he was able to perform it so subtly was amazing.
I believe this has to do with personal space and how we instinctively react to an incoming presence."
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15points
#10
okibawa said: "At least for me when my head nods up when I know someone, and nod my head down when I don't know someone."
Commenter replied: "I've also found I do nod up with a peer or equal, nod down for a superior or respected person."
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15points
#11
"Always true? Maybe not. Often true? Sure.
When one person grooms another person during casual interaction, ("Oh, you've got some lint on your shoulder. Let me just...") (s)he is being unconsciously affectionate to that other person and welcoming him/her into the pack... I mean family. Like monkeys picking each other's gnats."
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13points
#12
“I often times catch myself mirroring the actions of people I’m interested in, so I guess that’s something.”
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13points
#13
"People who mimic your body language don't want to displease you. That's as close to universally true as these things go. You cross your arms, they cross their arms, that sort of thing.
Nervous people often lick their lips and swallow. Liars often do, too, as well as touching their mouth, but it can be delayed after the lie when they feel like they got away with it. Like if you respond with, "Oh that makes sense," that's when they lick their lips.
People falsely accused of lying generally have a stronger reaction than those caught in a lie. One on one, that sometimes comes out as, the honest person confronts you face on, while the liar turns a little away. It's more about the line of their hips or shoulders, not so much where they point their nose."
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13points
#14
“roo420ellen said: ‘People who walk around on all fours, and pant heavily all the time and wag their tail when they are happy, are dogs.’
Commenter replied: ‘I call that a Saturday night.’”
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13points
#15
“When a girl touches your shoulder and laughs at your awful joke, she likes you. Or trying to recruit you in her networking scheme.”
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13points
#16
Literal_Genius said: "Glance at their feet. If they are pointed towards you, they are engaged in your conversation. If they are pointed away, often towards an exit, they'd like to end the conversation.
I use this at work all the time. And I notice myself doing it."
Commenter replied: "It depends on gender and other things, however. Men sitting and talking typically won't be facing each other directly, whereas women will."
Commenter answered: "I think I heard that the theory is that facing each other is considered "aggressive.""
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11points
#17
"Shaking someone's hand can make you memorable. This is just something I have observed, so I'm not passing it off as a general truth. When I meet someone new in a casual setting(a friend of a friend, someone's co-worker, someone's family member, etc) a person who acknowledges your existence and makes their way over to shake you hand will have an immediate impact on me over someone who just smiles and nods or waves and whatnot. I feel more comfortable with someone who make initiative to shake your hand, for whatever the reasons may be. I am much more likely to approach someone whose hand I have shaken to learn more about them at some point in the night.
This very much goes in the business world as well. I know its common knowledge to shake someone's hand when you meet them first time in a business setting, but if someone approaches you to shake your hand while they are leaving, they are far more memorable in my mind. It gives me a sense of belonging knowing that someone thought about me in particular before leaving a place or setting and had to make their way over to let me know they are leaving. This also works with customer-client relationships. If a customer shakes my hand after a transaction is completed, I will remember them and may give them some sort of incentives or discounts next time I see them."
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11points
#18
Commenter said: "I had a teacher that was a former cop. He pointed out that a person in a normal state of mind will swing their arms slightly while they move or walk. Angry people have a tendency to hold their arms at their sides and not move them."
Imaproatthat replied: "I just put my hands in my pocket."
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11points
#19
NotSoSlenderMan said: "I'm kind of the quiet, reserved guy and I love watching people while I'm hanging out with them. Seeing a person's look of defeat or frustration at another person over something they just said. Or that look people get when they are trying to be condescending to me. I also enjoy the shifty eyed, jaw tightening look people get when they are judging someone else. Or those sideways glances two people will give each other thinking no one else sees them. So much fun catching that stuff."
darkest_wizard said: "You know, people engaged in that stuff notice it just as much as the people watchers watching them."
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11points
#20
The_Real_Science said: "Take all advice in this thread with a liberal serving of salt, no "body language" is always 100% true it can only be mostly indicative."
Commenter replied: "In other words, it only works every time 60% of the time."
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11points