No matter what your wedding may look like, it all starts with a meticulous (and for some, spontaneous) planning process. Guest list, catering menu, venue, style, dress, everything puts huge pressure on the newlyweds, so no wonder it may go astray at any time.
Bored Panda talked to Rhiann Janak, the lead wedding planner and CEO of “Lucy Till French Weddings.” Rhiann said that essentially, “If there are too many cooks in the kitchen, you'll have a hard time pleasing everyone and drama will arise.”
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Instead, she suggested being aware that “when you are given money to organize your wedding, ask yourself, does this come with expectations to do parts of the wedding a certain way? Are you okay with those expectations?” In reality, only the couple knows how they want their most beautiful day to look, and they should stick to what makes them happy and not everybody else.
And in order to avoid any unnecessary drama, Rhiann recommends a simple trick: “keep the choices you make a secret until the wedding day unless you genuinely want someone's input as it may be different to yours.”
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Rhiann recounted one incident about her friend who had a vegan meal in the heart of Texas, BBQ country. “Her mother-in-law spent the entire planning process stressing about the fact that people will be hungry and wearing out the phrase 'what, I can't believe there won't be any meat.'”
“But in the end, everyone, all the guests, and mother-in-law were really happy with the meal,” Rhiann said and added that “sometimes, a bit of surprise is a good thing.” You shouldn’t thoroughly adapt your wedding to the preferences of your guests, and if you take them into account, this should not overturn the things that you feel comfortable with on your wedding day.
At the same time, while planning a wedding, you could take others’ opinions into account, especially if it’s someone you have a general bond with and both you and your partner trust. This may be your parents, or other close relatives, who will surely have their opinions on how you handle the wedding planning. This is especially true if you rely on your parents’ finances, which often correlates with how much they're contributing.
On the other hand, the constructive contribution should not be confused with toxic criticism. If anyone is being harsh with your wedding (and life) choices and openly questioning whether your “I do” is right, whether your wedding is well-planned, it may cause you to lose self-esteem. Be open-minded about opinions, but remember that for some, marrying in Walmart will surely look like the craziest idea on the planet, but you may have your own reasons why such an unusual venue is the place you want to marry. And it’s totally fine.
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