30 Wild Coincidences That Exposed Cheaters

To gain some insight on this topic from an expert, we reached out to Rebecca Williams, LMFT. Rebecca is a Couples Therapy Expert and the Owner of Inland Empire Couples Counseling in Southern California, offering online couples therapy and couples therapy retreats, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about cheating.

"It's hard to say definitively how common cheating is because it's something many people don't talk about or don't admit to," Rebecca shared. "And not all couples or individuals have the same definition for what counts as cheating. We've seen survey results that report that 15-20% of people surveyed admitted to cheating."

"What I do know is that it is possible for relationships to heal from cheating," the expert continued. "You might be surprised to find out that there are people you know how have experienced infidelity in their relationships and recovered from it."

"When a couple heals from infidelity and stays together, it's not usually something they joke about over dinner with friends," Rebecca added. "So if you're in a place where your partner has cheated and you're wondering if you're crazy to want to stay, you're not. Lots of couples are able to recover successfully."

Rebecca also says that cheaters don't always get caught. "Sometimes things happen that a partner never knows about."

But that doesn't mean that a cheater's actions won't have any impact on their relationship. "I do believe that cheating always has consequences," the expert noted. "The consequences might be distance or disconnection in the relationship, lack of intimacy or even the ending of the relationship."

Rebecca also shared some advice for anyone who believes their partner may be cheating on them. "If you suspect your partner is cheating and you want to end the relationship anyway, seriously consider ending [it]," she told Bored Panda. "I trust that you'll consider all the consequences of the breakup, but take care of yourself, prioritize your own wellbeing, and kindly walk away. If you know you don't want to be in the relationship AND you suspect cheating, going down the road to try to find evidence of it will only cause you a lot of pain and wasted energy."

"On the other hand, if you suspect cheating and you want to keep the relationship, talk to your partner," Rebecca says. "Have some open conversations about what's working and not working in the relationship."

"You might be right about the cheating, or your brain might suspect cheating as the reason for some other problems in the relationship, which may or may not be true," she noted. "Identify where there is disconnection, unhappiness, or distance and make a plan to close those gaps. Get the help of a trained couples therapist if this is something you think you can't do on your own."

"Sometimes we suspect cheating and we are totally right. And other times, because of our own past histories or insecurities, we suspect cheating and we're wrong," the expert added. "If you find that you're always suspicious of a partner cheating even without any evidence, your brain is likely trying to protect you from experiencing the pain of cheating again."

"Your brain has become vigilant, always looking for signs of cheating even when they aren't there," Rebecca explained. "If this sounds like you, there's hope. Find an experienced trauma therapist (someone who uses somatic therapies, EMDR, or Brainspotting) and they can help you heal. We don't want to see the pain of the past harm your current relationships too."

If you'd like to hear more wise words from Rebecca or the rest of her team, be sure to check out Inland Empire Couples Counseling.