Most of us have a hobby or two that we are incredibly passionate about, whether that’s art, music, collecting stamps, weightlifting, or something else entirely. The more you focus on this hobby, the more money you’re likely to spend on supplies because it’s become a massive part of your life. And it can be devastating when someone treats this part of you with utter disrespect. It hurts even more when it’s a relative, not just a stranger.
Redditor u/BroccoliOk923 recently went viral after opening up about a spot of family drama on the AITA online community. He shared how his brother-in-law’s kids had ruined his art supplies and artwork, and how he was considering taking him to court. However, things took an unexpected and surprisingly wholesome turn. Read on for the full story!
Art supplies can cost quite a bit if you're seriously passionate about drawing
Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)
One guy shared how a family gathering turned sour after his brother-in-law's kids got into his art room
Image credits: NomadSoul1 (not the actual photo)
The artist later shared an update. The entire story had a surprisingly pleasant twist at the end
Image credits: BroccoliOk923
Putting your emotions aside and deescalating the conflict can be a good approach
The Better Health Channel suggests putting all of your emotions aside when there’s a family conflict. Avoid interrupting others when they speak and ask questions if anything’s unclear. Meanwhile, be honest with your side of things and try to avoid bringing up unrelated issues from the past. If you’re arguing about art supplies, for instance, you should stay on message and not delve into previous arguments. That would only derail any attempts at diplomacy.
Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon, a USC Marshall School professor, told Verywell Mind that communication is akin to a game of chess “where every move one person makes influences the choices of the other.”
“A good rule of thumb is to not say what you would normally say in response to any provocation. If you usually meet a challenge with a challenge, try asking a question instead. If you let someone go on and on and that leads to anger, link something you have to say to his or her topic and then change to another one,” Dr. Reardon suggested acting slightly counter-intuitively.
“If you think you’re being blamed for something, instead of getting your back up, try saying, ‘There’s some truth to that’ or ‘I hadn’t thought of it that way but I see your point.’ In other words, tweak what you normally do. Then you won’t just slip into conflict. Above all, don’t be predictable. When we’re predictable, those who want to argue can maneuver us into doing just that.”
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Having someone whose willing to mediate the conflict can help quite a bit
The OP went into detail about just how much damage his BIL’s children did when they got into his art room. Devastated, the man seriously considered taking his relative to small claims court to settle the score. It seemed like a major inter-family fight was about to break out. But redditor u/BroccoliOk923’s father-in-law stepped in to save the day.
He mediated a family meeting and got the OP and his brother-in-law to see eye to eye. The latter apologized and promised to replace all of the art supplies.
Meanwhile, redditor u/BroccoliOk923 also owned up to what he did, too. He said he was sorry for going ‘nuclear’ on the kids when he realized they’d ruined his supplies. What’s more, he promised to make up for having soured the family gathering with his reaction. Though most redditors supported the OP, the true victory was seeing everyone in the family making amends and moving past what happened.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
It's vital that everyone's aware of each others' boundaries
Navigating arguments can be a humungous challenge. Especially when the air’s charged with tension and frustration, and you feel like you’d rather fight than give even an inch of ground. However, if you’ve been close with your relatives up to this point, you’ll eventually have to find some sort of common ground. And that starts with everyone calming down, actively listening to each other, and looking for some sort of compromise.
Going for friendly but open communication. Hearing out each other’s perspectives. Getting on the same page. These are all things that you should ideally do during any argument, whether at home or work.
And after you manage to solve the problem at hand, it’s probably worth it to set out some clear boundaries for the future. For instance, that the kids shouldn’t be left unsupervised when they’re over as guests, and that there won’t be any yelling if something bad happens. That way, everyone will have very clear expectations for each other and will know what boundaries not to cross.
Most internet users thought that the man did nothing wrong
However, some people thought that pretty much everyone was to blame for how the situation spiralled out of control
