More often than not, festivals and holidays mean drama, especially when you celebrate with relatives and their guests. It takes a lot of guts to host, knowing anything can trigger an unwanted, bitter spectacle. But sometimes, manipulative people know exactly which strings to pull to force someone to host.
One person vented online that their in-laws always hijacked their vacations and brought along uninvited guests. They were especially sick of their brother-in-law bringing a new girlfriend every Thanksgiving, and they wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, their spouse’s lack of spine was no help either. Scroll down to find out what they decided to do.
Thanksgiving is meant to be celebrated with close family
But this couple was sick of hosting uninvited guests brought by their family, especially by the enabled brother-in-law
Hosting Thanksgiving can be pretty pricey
Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner is no joke. It can get more challenging when annoying relatives are involved. Some family members are shameless freeloaders and don’t even hesitate to bring uninvited guests without warning. They show little to no consideration for the hosts or how it could strain them.
Family dynamics can be a major source of stress during the holidays. But we can’t ignore the economic pressures that come with them. Research shows that financial concerns weigh heavily on many families. The pressure to maintain holiday traditions while managing increased costs creates a painful conflict between expectations and reality. People might feel anxious about affording travel, providing a traditional meal, or meeting gift-giving expectations while struggling with everyday expenses.
It has been reported that the average cost of a traditional meal per person can range from $8 to $10 this year. This has increased since 2025, when it was $5.52. However, the final bill can climb with premium foods, extra desserts, specialty ingredients, and alcoholic beverages.
In this economy, the last thing hosts want is uninvited guests, just like the author, who didn’t want to cater to their brother-in-law’s new girlfriend every holiday. The 40-year-old man should have realized it was asking too much, but his parents always enabled his behavior.
According to Psychology Today, enabling adult children refers to a parenting dynamic where parents unintentionally or knowingly support their grown-up offspring in ways that hinder personal growth and responsibility. It can inadvertently impede their development into independent, self-sufficient individuals.
Partners must stand up for each other against overbearing families
Enabling can also foster a sense of entitlement and a lack of accountability. Over time, such behavior can strain the relationship between parents and adult children. Resentment may build on both sides, as parents may feel unappreciated, while adult children may feel stifled or controlled. Moreover, enabled adults may struggle to navigate social relationships independently.
Many netizens pointed out that the poster’s spouse was being unsupportive by refusing to stand up to their enabled sibling and parents. A study has found that an unsupportive partner can physically stress you out. People who felt they received less support from their partner reported a “stress-amplifying” effect as their cortisol levels increased.
Carolyn Riviere, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, stresses that setting and holding boundaries against in-laws is important for a healthy marriage. “Boundaries need to be communicated calmly but firmly. Couples should agree that their relationship comes first. The partner whose family is overstepping must take the lead in addressing the issue. This shows alignment and solidarity. That doesn’t mean attacking their family, but rather reinforcing boundaries,” she adds.
A few commentators felt that the poster was equally at fault as their spouse. They should have been clear about their Thanksgiving plans rather than just “hinting” things towards their in-laws. Some even suggested that the narrator should talk to their brother-in-law directly and tell him his girlfriend wasn’t welcome.
What about you? What would you do in such a situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Also, here’s another Thanksgiving drama that you can read next.
Many netizens felt that the poster’s spouse needed to grow a spine
