Our moms knew that when we were sincerely telling them that there was no need for us to go to school anymore because we were in a band now, that wearing fedoras with anime pins was a thing, or that opening a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cases was our future career—they really knew it, it would only be a phase. Redditor u/GeorgoyFriendman asked his fellow users of the r/AskReddit community, “What was your biggest/most regrettable 'It’s not a phase, mom. It’s my life.' that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?” and the funniest and most hysterical stories poured in.
So if you had an emo ‘phase,’ if you wanted to wear colored contacts but there was nothing wrong with your vision, and if you really thought you were a rapper, check out the best entries and vote for your favorite ones. And then carry on regretting those questionable fashion choices and tramp stamp tattoos.
More info: Reddit
#1
When I was 16, I kept my hair dyed blue, and kept myself fairly busy earning money to keep buying the hair dye so it would stay that way. One summer, one of our cats, a gray and white one, had to have a leg amputated after being bitten by a snake, and I noticed that the skin beneath the fur was the same color, in the same pattern, as her fur had been.
And it was just enough to pass idiot teenage muster.
So, I shaved my head with the intention of getting my entire scalp tattooed blue, thinking that when my hair grew back in, it would be forever blue. I even found a tattoo guy willing to do the job, but only if an experimental square inch worked.
I'm still blonde, but I do have a tattoo on my scalp that's just a blue square.
My mother was too dumbfounded to say anything. And my step dad just walked out onto the back porch to stare into the yard for a while. It was never brought up again once it was clear the experiment didn't work.
I never dyed my hair again after that either.
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428points
#2
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
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308points
#3
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least 2 years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also 2 white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
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296points
#4
My boyfriend when I sixteen that I swore to god was my soulmate.
I don’t even remember his name now.
Sorry mum.
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280points
#5
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
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268points
#6
Really wanted a horse.
Ridiculously allergic to horses.
Also could not afford a horse.
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253points
#7
Acting like a thug ... being 12 years old from a white middle class family but acting like a career criminal, born in the streets, who had done a nickel of hard time in the clink. At the mall on a Friday night giving you the crazy eye with my backward hat and baggy pants.
If someone did actually “try” me we would usually just bump chests and say “do something then” “go head then” “no you do something homie” walking in circles with my hands by my side because I’m more concerned about looking gangster than I am about defending myself. 9/10 times nothing would happen but I would definitely chalk it up as a win for my crew anyway.
Side note tho one of my best homies head butted a guy with terrible head butt technique and it knocked them both unconscious, but because my friend woke up and got up first he declared himself the victor, it was surprisingly hard to argue with that logic.
Also I had my nickname embroidered on my fitted hat from lids “Lil E” but because of the calligraphy style font and bad spacing it appeared to read Lile or Lily as most would pronounce it and that sucked ass ... spent like a whole months allowance on that stupid hat never to be worn again, but also never forgotten by my friends.
Sincerely yours, Lily
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253points
#8
Being a mall goth was "just who I am, mom!" I am 34 and no longer a mall goth. But I do still look back fondly at all the stupid s*** I used to wear. It was a lot of fun.
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234points
#9
I went through an Eminem phase were I decided to speak more “urban”. It was basically me saying “yo” a lot and making fulsome gestures with my hands. I would work lyrics into my everyday vernacular like “how ELSE do you get to the booty” and “rap god!” Usually they were completely out of context and inappropriate. I called my friends my “peoples”.
I’m cringing into the floor just thinking about it.
230points
#10
Scene fashion. I back-combed my hair to hell and back, and got quite a few facial piercings I still have scars for lol
The worst part was the actual clothes. I still cringe thinking about when I wore these neon blue leopard print leggings with a pink tutu skirt. And all the tacky, cheap beaded jewelry. My mom told me not to leave the house like that and I told her she didn't "get it".
All the cringe.
219points
#11
I had a posh phase once. Spoke in a terrible british accent, put my pinky out while drinking tea, said pardon a lot. My brother told me to stop so i did
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215points
#12
I was obsessed with "The Craft" in junior high and was convinced that I was a witch. I basically just drew pentagrams all over my school work and wore a lot of rings on my fingers. That's it.
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193points
#13
Just the standard: "I don't NEED to go to school, MUM. I'm in a BAND!"
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190points
#14
My gymnastics.
Then I slipped up and paralysed myself. Had to learn to walk again which took 3 years.
Interestingly, where my parents discouraged me from "wasting time" on gymnastics before the accident, after the accident and my recovery they encouraged me to take it up again... but i cant. The accident and the horror surrounding it still gives me nightmares some nights.
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189points
#15
Oh god..... i was a fedora guy once. I hate myself so much for it.
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188points
#16
I wanted to be a big-time hero and save the world from every bad thing.
I just play D&D now.
186points
#17
Being a hippie. Still love nature, meditation and the Grateful Dead, but it's nice to have a clear head and a meaningful career.
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177points
#18
Trenchcoat phase after I saw the matrix. Turns out a goofy f****** 13 year old doesn't look or feel as bada** in one as Neo does. EDIT: I was a sheltered kid in a sheltered town. I'd heard of Columbine but had not seen the video and had made no connection between the coat and the event.
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175points
#19
I have a real whopper.... I loved anime as a teenager. This was in the 90s so it wasn't that mainstream yet. Because I had no interest in anything else, I took a year of Japanese. Then because I STILL had no other ambition or interest, I signed up in the military to go to Japan. For 8 years.
Got out, went to college and because I STILL didn't know what I wanted to do, I studied Japanese. By this time, the interest in anime had worn off, but learning culture and history was cool. So... I went to college to learn Japanese. As a major.
6 goddamned years, a ton of core classes and not a single interest in any other thing. I was "done" with the Japanese language at that point, but because near the end, my class literally couldn't be run without me, I stayed. I stayed because I felt like it would be a waste if I changed it. Like everything I had done up to that point was a lie.
Here I am with a degree in Japanese Language/History and Culture and I'm not at all interested in it anymore.
I'm looking for a real job, have been since I got out of college but for now I work for a temp company for a Japanese air conditioning company.
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167points
