#1
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Ravi_dxb, who posed the question, "What’s the biggest red flag you ignored in a relationship, and how did it turn out?” He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain where his inspiration for this post came from.
"I’ve always been curious about why people ignore red flags in relationships, even when they kind of know better," the author shared. "We’ve all been there at some point, and I figured it would be interesting to see what others had to say. Plus, Reddit is full of real, unfiltered stories, so I knew the responses would be eye-opening."
#2
Never dated someone that was very very attached to their mother before and I never will again.
- It feels like there is always three of you in the relationship
- Your opinion is asked but so is mummy’s and what was the point of asking me because mummy’s answer always goes.
- The general lack of life skills, experience and independence because your mummy is still coddling you at 27.
#3
The author also admits that he's guilty of ignoring red flags that he shouldn't have in relationships. "I’ve definitely overlooked some warning signs, usually by making excuses like, 'Maybe they’ll change' or 'It’s not that bad,'" Ravi_dxb shared. "Spoiler alert: it was that bad. Ignoring red flags always led to situations where I wished I had walked away sooner."
#4
She looked at me with total sincerity and said, “I don’t know how much longer I can hold back the crazy!”
We have been married for 25 years.
#5
Eventually her Mom also became toxic towards me and that was where I drew the line. I was dealing with some terrible news about a family member (diagnosed with terminal cancer) and was told my emotions didn't matter and I should deal with them myself. I asked for a break from her and she ghosted me.
Been 5+ years. Very happily single, thriving in my career, and just got into my dream grad program. Don't know if I'm meant to find love in this existence but feel happy for what I have in my life. That relationship did a lot of damage to my psyche and I'm starting to finally feel like myself again which is nice. Can finally say I love myself again.
#6
So why do so many people overlook these bad signs? "Hope, fear, and emotional investment," the author told Bored Panda. "When you really like someone, you don’t want to see the bad stuff. Sometimes, it’s easier to believe things will get better than to accept that they won’t. And let’s be honest—society kind of pushes this idea that love is about sticking through the hard times. But some 'hard times' are actually just signs to leave."
Finally, we asked Ravi_dxb what he thought of the responses to his post. "The replies were wild," he shared. "Some were funny, some were heartbreaking, and a few were just insane. What really surprised me was how many people had almost identical experiences. It made me realize that ignoring red flags is way more common than I thought."
#7
#8
She practically begged me and cried for almost 3 years to take her back. Never once contemplated it.
#9
We were also lucky enough to get in touch with Gina Hendrix. Gina is a globally recognized matchmaker to billionaires and celebrities, as well as a respected author and relationship expert. And as one of the leading authorities in luxury matchmaking, she was the perfect person to share her expertise on this topic.
As for the most common red flags she's noticed, Gina first mentioned "what the other person is looking for."
"Either people just don’t ask OR they 'assume'. For example: If they know they want kids–but the person they are dating already has them, that could certainly indicate this person doesn’t want anymore," she explained. "Or if the person is a specific religion (you’re not), and that religion seems important to them OR maybe their family. Why is this a red flag? Men will date a woman for years, knowing full well–their 'life goals' are not aligned, and therefore there will be no real long-term commitment."
#10
#11
Went about just as tumultuous as one would expect until lo and behold it’s revealed he’s a sociopath! Who knew! 😅.
#12
Pattern recognition yall.
Gina also says it's a red flag when people rarely ask any deep or meaningful questions about you or are very vague in telling you meaningful things about themselves.
"[Or] someone who wants to move very quickly. You don’t know them or hardly know them, and they are immediately saying 'you’re the one,'" the expert continued. "This also goes hand in hand with anyone who gets too demanding of your time right away, wants you to be exclusive right away. Why? This is a person who is not grounded in reality."
#13
#14
#15
Now that a I think about it, I should've broken up with her waaay earlier than I did.
"This is a no brainer: anyone who talks negatively (especially right away) about their ex," Gina says. "And if they use the word, 'psycho'—it is almost always the case that they are that as well. It takes two to tango, and two unhealthy people to stay in a toxic relationship."
Finally, she added that daters should steer clear of anyone who refers to themselves in a derogatory way. "For example: 'I’m an a**hole'. Why? This person is literally telling you who they are."
#16
Fast forward to trying to message her one day. Her status on Myspace all of a sudden said "married" and she had a bunch of pictures up from her wedding that past weekend. Became so clear I could not believe I didn't put it together earlier. She was engaged.
Turns out she was hooking up with me on the side while engaged. I wrote her "So, married huh?" her response? "Sigh, I knew this was coming".
As far as I know now she is like single with 5 kids, so might have lucked out.
#17
Supposedly, she was pulling up in the driveway, and noticed the dog laying down in the driveway. The dog was old, and had mobility issues. She expected the dog would move out of the way, before her car came to a stop. Unfortunately the dog didn’t move, and the dog died. Why she didn’t stop the car a couple of feet away from the dog, I have no idea.
She told this to me completely out of the blue, and didn’t have any emotion whatsoever when telling me this.
#18
As for why it's so crucial to not ignore these red flags, Gina says, "When you choose to look past these things, you can waste years and years. You become frustrated and bitter. This will also take up years of your heart and mind, when those years could have been spent on finding a healthy great relationship. And if you’re a woman trying to have children, then you have limited time that you simply cannot afford to waste."
#19
Badly.
#20
