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30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
CuriositiesNOV 6, 2024

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About

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Aging is inevitable. But the good news is that most of us get used to it with time. According to a recent Forbes Health survey of 2,000 U.S. adults conducted by OnePoll, 53% of people aren't afraid of growing old. And if you categorize the respondents by age, the older they were, the bigger this share was: among those between 66 and 76 years old, the figure stood at 70%, and among those over 77, it was 79%. Therefore, you could argue that it's actually the unknown that we are so uncomfortable with. So let's try to tackle it and take a look at an online discussion where elderly folks have been sharing what they consider to be the biggest misconceptions surrounding aging.

#1

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I remember a story of an old man telling his grandson, "Son, you know what's one secret no one will ever tell ya? It's that nobody ever grows old. People pretend to be adults, going about their lives. But everybody's still a child deep inside, scared & alone.. pretending to have got it all sorted."

Not sure how much it suits here, but that stuck!
91points

To learn more about aging and our response to it, we reached out to Dr. Josh Gressel, a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area and the author of Embracing Envy: Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion.

"The fear of getting old is rational," Dr. Gressel told Bored Panda. "Otherwise, why would it be such a universal one? There are many reasons: increasing physical infirmity, loss of friends, loss of relevance in the outer world, loneliness, and more than anything else — your impending death."

#2

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That wisdom comes with age.


It doesn't, it comes with experience.
72points

#3

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That I would be ok with it. Nope, do not like looking older in the face and body, don’t like my vision getting worse, hair thinning and going gray, memory lapsing etc. yes I am grateful to be alive and it beats the alternative, but it is still annoying.
69points

People might become more comfortable with getting older as time goes by, Dr. Gressel thinks, because "as it gets closer and becomes more of a reality, it's no longer something abstract and intimidating but real and tangible."

"I believe that by gradually accepting each change as it comes, we can age gracefully and enjoy what this age has to offer us," the psychologist added.

"At the same time, a real dividing line for people who get older is the question of physical and mental health. Those who are able to keep their marbles and their bodies relatively intact can fare far better than those who struggle with this. Financial security is also important."

#4

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I used to think that growing older meant having it all figured out, l Turns out, it's more like collecting a bunch of keys without any idea which doors they open! 😂.
67points

#5

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That perimenopause means you have a few hot flushes, and your periods get erratic for a while and then stop.

Turns out, it screws up your whole body.
63points

#6

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I thought I’d be able to save money and retire someday. I lost my job, and as a woman in my 50s, I simply can’t find employment. Like, I applied at Whole Foods to be a worker, but they say I’m “too qualified”. Like, I don’t want anything but a standard job. I don’t want to be in leadership anymore.
62points

The media also plays a role, and it's not a very benefitial one. "First, most of its focus is on youth and physical beauty. By extension, old age and wrinkles are to be hidden, not spotlighted," Dr. Gressel said.

"Second, how many heroic images of older people are you aware of in movies? I can only think of Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars. Everyone else is depicted as pretty useless, a has been. There really is a dearth of examples of what aging has to offer, mostly because it can’t be encapsulated in a superficial sound byte."

#7

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
Can do everything right and still end up with chronic disease.

Most people do far less than this and are shocked when they aren't healthy.
62points

#8

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That I was going to turn into a condescending, nagging, miserable, no-fun-allowed person like my parents were.

Nope, it was just my parents. Thank god for that.
59points

#9

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I thought I’d retire, live maybe 3-4 years at home, then go to a nursing home. I’ve been retired 12 years, have an active social life, drive anywhere I want to go, and am very accustomed to this lifestyle. 76 yo.
58points

Of course, it's difficult for us younger folks to fully empathize with some of these things. Our minds and hearts have their own priorities. But that doesn't mean they won't change.

"While there is much that is beautiful and special in being young and making your way in the world, can you imagine how nice it is when you get to a stage in your life when you no longer feel competitive with other people?" Dr. Gressel added. "Do you have any idea how much pleasure I feel by mentoring younger people, seeing in them their positive qualities, and naming it for them so they can feel seen?"

"I need absolutely zero in response from them except the pleasure I feel knowing and seeing that they feel seen. It is wonderful to feel like a father to adult men and for them to look to me for validation. It is wonderful in many ways to have less testosterone, to just be out of that lusty race with life. It allows for greater presence and calmness," the psychologist explained.

Maybe if we realized that life doesn’t end when we enter retirement, we could start preparing for it earlier.

#10

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I've been nearsighted forever. When you get older, you lose the ability to focus on close things, which is what farsighted people experience. So I had this idea that at some point, my increasing farsightedness would cancel out my nearsightedness and I would have perfect vision for a time. Nope. Turns out you can be both nearsighted and farsighted at the same time.
53points

#11

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
My child brain thought old people didn’t do things I often saw in play (cartwheels, handstands, or even just stuff like sitting cross-legged) because they were old and therefore too dignified.

Nope. Eventually that stuff really hurts. I’d kill to be able to do a cartwheel on the beach. Those were the days.
50points

#12

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
Dementia aside, that you become unnecessarily stuck in your ways or are unwilling to learn anything new.

I find the exact opposite - my thinking has never been clearer, and I eagerly consume vast amounts of new information.
44points

#13

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That as long as I exercised consistently I could age pain free. Sadly that was false.
44points

#14

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That you’re as old as you want to be. We think we’re “old” at 40 but you’ll look back on pics of that time and think how young you were. I gather when I’m 90 I’ll look back at pics of when I was in my 60s and think the same thing.

And then there’s being old
In your head. My dad was “the old man” all his life. He was never young.

The only thing that really sucks is being surprised when you look in the mirror (who is that old bag?) & how much s**t (knees, shoulders) hurts. Good things include no fear expressing myself & finally somewhat lessened attention from the opposite sex.
42points

#15

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That when you are older you will be ready and able to handle the losses and trials that life throws at you.

I'm 38 and have just lost my Dad. I feel completely unable to emotionally handle this loss.
35points

#16

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
It being linear. My grandparents were fit, like actually fit, their whole life. Going on bike tours for hours, no end in sight, before the bs E-Bike hype. Eating right, doing puzzles and quizzes, sports, gardening and stuff around the house, renovations whenever one of us needed help. They seemed happy and enjoying life.
Then, one super bad bike crash, landed them in the hospital for a month, recovery was good for their age, due to their very good condition. But the scars scared my grandma to get back on a bike, my grandpa staying home in solidarity. It's been 3 years, and they are shells of their former selfs. Both mentally and physically, especially in the last year, it's horrible to witness. I love them both, and try to spend as much time with them as possible, but it's just depressing to see.
34points

#17

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I’d wake up one day and want to eat healthy. Nope, I still want junk food.
32points

#18

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That I wouldn’t get cancer until I was 40, found out when I was 15. Also, arthritis. Was at the rheumatologist one day and there was a 4 year old girl with arthritis, we both got diagnosed with JRA that day. Wild af. Genetics are a b***h.
31points

#19

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
I thought I would "grow out of" house music. Still haven't. House Music All Life Long!
29points

#20

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About
That 50 is old.

I always thought 50 was old because my grandpa had several conditions that made him look much older and 'beaten up'. My grandma on the other side always has had a hunched back and it grew worse and worse.

Turns out i just had a few bad examples of people that worked tougher physical jobs all their life. My dad is 55 or so now and hes still spry.

In my gym theres a 53yo guy deadlifting 300kg+ and still going out for beers with friends on thursdays after work.

30 always sounded like a big number but i'll be there in like two weeks and im still childish AF, im still just a stupid little moron that doesnt know s**t. I dont know if ill grow up by the time i hit 50.
29points
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