Some dads see their kids as a sort of captive audience for their shenanigans. Similarly, a lot of men really get up to some trouble before settling down. The result is an ability to annoy, befuddle and surprise their kids in the future. Remember, your parents had entire lives before you were born.
Someone asked people to share the best bit of “dad lore” they have. From hilarious running gags and insidious pranks, to just unhinged “dad humor,” get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own examples in the comments below.
#21
My stepmom own a couple of hot dog stands that are located in Home Depots. Every summer she caters an outdoor movie night event for the community of her cousin. It's an all-day event and when I was in college they asked me to help out and gave me the money they got paid so I could have some money for school.
The morning of the event, I got to my dad's house and started helping him load the hot dog cart onto the back of his truck. All of a sudden this SUV starts speeding down the alley. My dad narrowly avoids getting hit, but as the SUV passes it took out the drivers side mirror of my dad's truck. The SUV then stops a few houses down and the guy jumps out and runs into a house.
My dad and I both look at each other, really confused, and then went to check out the damage. The mirror was hanging off so we had to start figuring a way to tape it on because we needed it to make the hour and half long drive to the event.
After a few minutes the guy from the SUV comes back out and walks towards us. My dad was pretty pissed and looked ready to confront him. The guy stops right in front of the mirror, looks at it, turns to us and says, "I'm so sorry. I was about to s**t myself."
I could barely withhold my laughter and although my dad was still visibly pissed, I could tell he thought it was funny too. The guy ended up paying for the mirror, but the whole thing was such a weird interaction.
The morning of the event, I got to my dad's house and started helping him load the hot dog cart onto the back of his truck. All of a sudden this SUV starts speeding down the alley. My dad narrowly avoids getting hit, but as the SUV passes it took out the drivers side mirror of my dad's truck. The SUV then stops a few houses down and the guy jumps out and runs into a house.
My dad and I both look at each other, really confused, and then went to check out the damage. The mirror was hanging off so we had to start figuring a way to tape it on because we needed it to make the hour and half long drive to the event.
After a few minutes the guy from the SUV comes back out and walks towards us. My dad was pretty pissed and looked ready to confront him. The guy stops right in front of the mirror, looks at it, turns to us and says, "I'm so sorry. I was about to s**t myself."
I could barely withhold my laughter and although my dad was still visibly pissed, I could tell he thought it was funny too. The guy ended up paying for the mirror, but the whole thing was such a weird interaction.
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26points
#22
One time my dad took my brother's walkie talkie and had us and about 10 kids in the neighborhood convinced that we had picked up a signal from a plane that was crashing towards the Earth. We were running up and down the streets for an hour with our eyes on the sky listening as the "pilot" tried to reach someone for help. Dad's windows were open so we eventually caught on to the heinous laughter echoing between the houses after every mayday.
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25points
#23
One time my dad came home after I had a party at the house. There were girls dancing together on the pool table, and one of them had Cheeto dust on their fingers. I tried to clean it, but couldn't get all of it before they got home. He calls me downstairs and asks about the marks on the table, I couldn't think of a lie so I just told him the truth. He stares for a couple seconds and then says "nice".
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24points
#24
When I was 17, my crush arrived to pick me up to go hang out; he didn't come to the front door, he just honked from the driveway. So my Dad got all pissy, that's not how you treat a lady, honking is unacceptable, and didn't let me go out! He brought up that scenario repeatedly for years, as a baseline for how my dates should treat me. He hated that guy. I got married a few years later, and my husband died a few years into our relationship. A few years after he died, I was joking with my dad about the guy honking his horn and my dad looks at me and says "Wait. That was the same guy??!" Yes Dad, that was the same guy! He'd never realized that I'd married the honking guy! I didn't know that he didn't know! My kids love that story, it's pretty hilarious!
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23points
#25
One time my dad went to fathers weekend for my sorority. My dad likes to believe he's 21 despite being 50 with 4 kids. At fathers weekend he got bored at our fathers event and decided to recruit my roommates dad to crash a frat party. Well he succeeded and proceeded to walk down our street until he found a party to crash. He and his new friend knocked on the door and asked to see the place. Once inside they made fun of the lack of good alcohol the party had and proceeded to buy a keg of "the good stuff" for the party. He then starts to make friends with the guys at the party and starts taking shots with them. Fast forward and hour and now my dad is showing the music he used to listen to when he was in college the ask him to go on the stage and play it on the speakers. Well he proceeds to play some songs and jumps on the table and starts to dance on the table. The table then breaks and my dad is carried off as the coolest dad ever. It's been a year and I am still hearing people talk about him.
TL;DR One time my dad crashed a frat party and broke a table dancing on top of it.
TL;DR One time my dad crashed a frat party and broke a table dancing on top of it.
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22points
#26
One time my dad was riding his bike on a 3 foot tall brick wall, slipped off, hit his head on it and got knocked out behind it for an hour or so. My grandma almost called the cops to file him missing.
He also tried to see how far he could p**s into a urinal. About 10 feet before he got caught by a teacher walking into the bathroom.
He also dared his best friend to throw a full milk carton at a teacher. His friend did it. That teacher was also my grandma's best friend at the time.
Him and my uncle were throwing snowballs at cars passing on the highway. They hit an undercover detective. They ran back to the house and his while my aunt didn't know they snuck back in and she had to talk to the detective.
He also stole my aunt's VW beetle and took it for a midnight joy ride. They got it stuck in a ditch and had a farmer pull it out with a tractor. She just found out last year. Nearly 40 years later.
He really likes car horns. When we were kids he held down the horn on a country road until the horn gave out and was just squeaking trying to make noise.
He recently got a new aerating trailer for his lawn mower and he was so excited about it that he did 3 of our neighbors' yards for fun.
He also got himself a Christmas present a few years back and yelled "YES THANK YOU" when he opened it. That same Christmas my mom got him a new coffee maker and he spent the entire night setting it up and making everyone coffee.
He bought a motorcycle as a mid-life crisis thing. He kept it a secret from my grandma for 3 years. A 50 year old man hiding things from his mom.
My older brother fired an arrow almost straight up in the air. It came back down right on the peak of our shed. Sticking straight up and dead center. You could tell he was trying not to laugh while scolding us.
We were having a bonfire one night and one of my brothers friends put a Mountain Dew can near the fire so it heated up slowly. When it exploded it sounded like a mortar went off. It sent embers 40 feet into the air and 25 feet around. After gaining our sense we could see our dads silhouette sprinting inside the house because he though we were getting shot at. I've never seen him move that fast. To clarify, he was already in the house.
He also tried to see how far he could p**s into a urinal. About 10 feet before he got caught by a teacher walking into the bathroom.
He also dared his best friend to throw a full milk carton at a teacher. His friend did it. That teacher was also my grandma's best friend at the time.
Him and my uncle were throwing snowballs at cars passing on the highway. They hit an undercover detective. They ran back to the house and his while my aunt didn't know they snuck back in and she had to talk to the detective.
He also stole my aunt's VW beetle and took it for a midnight joy ride. They got it stuck in a ditch and had a farmer pull it out with a tractor. She just found out last year. Nearly 40 years later.
He really likes car horns. When we were kids he held down the horn on a country road until the horn gave out and was just squeaking trying to make noise.
He recently got a new aerating trailer for his lawn mower and he was so excited about it that he did 3 of our neighbors' yards for fun.
He also got himself a Christmas present a few years back and yelled "YES THANK YOU" when he opened it. That same Christmas my mom got him a new coffee maker and he spent the entire night setting it up and making everyone coffee.
He bought a motorcycle as a mid-life crisis thing. He kept it a secret from my grandma for 3 years. A 50 year old man hiding things from his mom.
My older brother fired an arrow almost straight up in the air. It came back down right on the peak of our shed. Sticking straight up and dead center. You could tell he was trying not to laugh while scolding us.
We were having a bonfire one night and one of my brothers friends put a Mountain Dew can near the fire so it heated up slowly. When it exploded it sounded like a mortar went off. It sent embers 40 feet into the air and 25 feet around. After gaining our sense we could see our dads silhouette sprinting inside the house because he though we were getting shot at. I've never seen him move that fast. To clarify, he was already in the house.
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19points
#27
One time, when i was about 10, my dad called me into his room. He and my mom were there, completely naked, standing around and laying their clothes down ready to get dressed. They acted like the situation was completely normal and asked me about some random thing.
I eventually blocked this memory out, and thought it to be a dream, but then, 10 years later, they told me that was their way of showing me what a body looked like because i was getting close to "that age".
Dude, wtf.
TL;DR: My parents flashed me to avoid 'the talk'.
I eventually blocked this memory out, and thought it to be a dream, but then, 10 years later, they told me that was their way of showing me what a body looked like because i was getting close to "that age".
Dude, wtf.
TL;DR: My parents flashed me to avoid 'the talk'.
18points
#28
One time my dad literally took candy from a baby.
A two year old held up a lollypop and my dad assumed the kid was giving it to him. After taking it and walking away, he realized the toddler probably just wanted to show it to him...
A two year old held up a lollypop and my dad assumed the kid was giving it to him. After taking it and walking away, he realized the toddler probably just wanted to show it to him...
18points
#29
One time my dad almoat slit my throat because he thought I was a burglar. I had snuck downstairs for some reason, I was in the kitchen and heard him coming in, so I hid behind the kitchen counter. Heard my dad opening drawers and things. Next thing I know he had leaned over the counter and grabbed my head, had a kitchen knife to my throat. A split second later he realised it was me and dropped me, then I got yelled at because he had heard me breathing, thought I was a home intruder, and I almost got in a world of pain. He was shaking from adrenaline. As a dad now myself, I can imagine the state of mind he was in.
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16points
#30
One time, my dad was sitting on the couch in our living room. Mom brought out a bag of sugar and asked him to open it. He opened it like it was a bag of Doritos, and I mean, IT. WAS. EVERYWHERE. He was only wearing his shorts, so there was sugar in just about every square inch of his visible hair as well as all over our couch and carpet. Took him four showers in a row to get it all off.
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15points