"Don't need to be cured, need to be left alone,” says the description of the ‘Introvert Feels’ Instagram account, boasting more than 217k followers.
While it’s clear how many people enjoy browsing the memes shared by the account, it’s not as easy to determine how many people can relate to them or how many consider themselves to be introverts. But according to the lecturer and author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, Susan Cain, somewhere between a third and half of the population are introverts.
If you’re unsure what exactly makes someone an introvert, there is no one right answer. But, according to former clinical psychologist Dr. Leon F. Seltzer, one of the things that are characteristic of introverted people is that they keep many of their feelings to themselves, lacking the motivation to share that’s reflective of extroverts.
“They also tend to be much more introspective and emotionally more distant from others than are their personality counterparts,” he added in a recent interview with Bored Panda.
Talking about what determines whether a person is an introvert or an extrovert, Dr. Seltzer noted that it’s largely genetic and not something that the individual consciously chooses. “At times, however, environmental contingencies can ‘train’ a person not to trust others, and so become more introverted than their genes would have them be,” he said.
Like most things, introversion, too, is often misunderstood. Talking about things people often mistakenly consider to be introversion, Dr. Seltzer said that can be someone who is a shy extrovert, for example. “Though this is hardly common,” he added, saying that some extroverts are simply less "out there" than others.
“Moreover, a quiet person isn't necessarily an introvert. It's best to see things that are peculiarly human as existing on a continuum,” the expert said, providing another example of a common misconception.
Talking about introversion during her TED Talk, Cain pointed out that being an introvert doesn’t equal being shy, which is what some people tend to think.
“Shyness is about fear of social judgement, [while] introversion is more about how you respond to stimulation; including social stimulation,” she said. “So extraverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched on and their most capable when they’re in quieter, more low-key environments.”
Sometimes, due to the differences between introverts and extroverts, it can be difficult for the two groups to really understand each other and see where their counterparts are coming from. But it’s important to at least try to.
“Understanding is only the first step. What's required beyond that is mutual respect and acceptance,” Dr. Seltzer told Bored Panda. “Humans and their perspectives are determined both by genetics and environment, and so it's essential that we move beyond the ‘blame game’ and appreciate that everyone's perspective has (subjective) validity. What ‘feels’ right to one person will feel wrong to another, and vice versa. But at our core, we're very much the same, and this is why reconciliation is seminal in resolving disagreement and reducing opposition.”
The expert continued to suggest that true understanding has to be emotional, not simply cognitive, if there is to be full acceptance of others' viewpoints that are different from one's own.
While some people love to say that opposites attract, they likely don’t mean extroverts and introverts, as Dr. Seltzer believes that it is much easier for introverted people to befriend likeminded individuals than it is their extroverted counterparts.
“The latter alternative makes little sense to me. It's much more challenging to befriend someone whose views differ significantly from yours. And the phrase ‘opposites attract’ is one that's used predominantly in a romantic context, and certainly isn't limited to the introversion/extroversion aspect of personality,” the expert said.