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32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Funny,CuriositiesMAR 9, 2023

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group

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We’ve all had moments in our lives where we just needed that perfect comeback to make everyone laugh or put someone in their place. Unfortunately, the best insults seem to come to us while we’re showering or right before going to bed. But what if we could have said the thing that was on the tip of our tongue, that would have saved our reputation at that moment?
Well, fret not, cause we’re here to help pad out your arsenal with the best insults from this viral Askreddit community thread!
More info: Reddit

#1

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Some guy on Reddit says he had fornicated with OPs mother. OP replies “Im happy to know that Im no longer her biggest disappointment”. I haven’t heard any insult that epic before or since.
398points

#2

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
A colleague of mine was told the following by a waitress when he had tried to hit on her.
"You have more d**k in your personality than you do in your pants"
306points

#3

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
When I was in high school, one of my classmates gave our teacher a typical “your mom” response to a question without realizing the teacher’s mother had just died. Without missing a beat, the teacher said “leave my mother out of this. I don’t make fun of your parents, and look what they produced.”
301points

For this article, Bored Panda got in touch with experienced copy-editor and professional language writer in Ireland, Stan Carey. You can visit his website here and also find more interesting, but explicit, articles about expletives on the Strong Language blog.

Also providing their input about why insults between friends are funny rather than rude and some novel examples of insults is James Harbeck, professional editor, designer, and writer. You can read more about him and his work on his website or his blog Sesquiotica.

#4

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
16 year old me trying to convince my dad to take my friends and I to see American Pie: Dad: so what is it about? Me: a group of high school friends trying to lose their virginity. Dad: I can stay home and see that.
289points

#5

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Teacher of mine once said to a classmate who kept making the most asinine contributions to the conversation:
“You make it really difficult to underestimate you.”
The guy had no idea what it meant, he thought it was a compliment .
266points

#6

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
“You’re not the dumbest person I’ve ever met, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”
248points

If you are particularly interested in how a particular vulgar word and its alternatives evolved through the decades, you may find something fun in Jonathon Green’s historical slang timelines, as suggested by Stan Carey. Although there is little context, it’s quite amusing to see that the synonym for “foolish” in the 1850’s was “suck-egg”, whatever that may mean.

#7

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Bunch of quite pretentious people getting out of a limo at a club and pretending they’re more than they are to get in ahead of the line, bouncer quips “ Can always tell clowns, all arriving in the same car.”
229points

#8

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Winston Churchill supposedly in response to being called drunk during a debate: “I may be drunk but tomorrow I shall be sober. You, however, madam, shall always be ugly”.
221points

#9

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
I was at a pool in Vegas and wearing a straw cowboy hat with my shirt open. One friend said "damn, how can you not get laid with that outfit today"
Other friend said "don't worry, he'll show us."
215points

Blatherskite is a colorful insult with an old-fashioned flavor that's fun to say,” says Stan Carey. Apparently, the “-skite” part alludes to sh*t, and most people don’t know that. As blather means empty and long-winded talk, you can probably guess what it means.

#10

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Was playing Pavlov(vr game) with a group of people, one of which was this very annoying kid who kept saying something like "You're bad because you're adopted" and such like that. He did that to one dude, and the guy replies something like "I'd return the insult, but that'd imply someone wanted you"
Had the whole lobby erupting. IDK if it's taken from somewhere or what.
212points

#11

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
My favorite of all time was from roast me. Guy was wearing a checkered shirt and the line was:
“Thanks for wearing graph paper so we can calculate the exact waste of space”
183points

#12

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
I'd challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.
177points

Discussing why insults between friends are funny rather than insulting, James Harbeck mentions that they are funny because they demonstrate permission. “You show that you know you have the right to speak to the other person in terms that would be taken badly by someone you were not on close terms with, and that you know they know,” says James. These claims are somewhat confirmed in a case study about insults and social cohesion.

#13

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
"it's because of people like you, that they still print instructions on shampoo bottles".
Loved that.
171points

#14

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
You've got a face for radio, and a voice for writing.
161points

#15

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
Best one I've heard recently was someone who commented on a shirtless picture of a guy and called him Tragic Mike.
152points

Insulting friends may also be a good way to let off some steam and equalize perceived or possible social inequalities, James says. Nevertheless, these boundaries should be judged carefully, James says, sharing the case of English dandy Beau Brummell insulting the Prince Regent, with whom he had formerly been on good terms. “He said to one of the prince’s companions, 'Alvanley, who’s your fat friend?' – and met his social downfall as a result.”

#16

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
''I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.''
145points

#17

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
When I was 16, I accidentally cut a woman off and she screamed out her car window at me “Who did you f**k to get your license!?!?” I laughed so hard. It really stuck with me.
145points

#18

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
You'd struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.
You've got two brain cells, and they're both fighting for third place.
Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you to breathe. You should go apologize to it.
At my funeral, I want my coworkers to be my pallbearers and lower my casket into my grave, so they can all let me down one last time.
And my personal favorite, from an episode of *Frasier* :
>Roger, at Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful, that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now---I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.
144points

Irish English has insults derived from Irish for every occasion, according to Stan Carey. Sleeveen, referring to someone untrustworthy, and cute hoor are popular examples, especially used in political contexts. Sleeveen is especially popular in Irish politics, used to define politicians as smooth-tongued rogues.

#19

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
When your mom dropped you off at school this morning she got fined because they thought she was littering.
134points

#20

32 Of The Most Savage Insults People Have Ever Heard, As Shared In This Online Group
I was at a hot girl bar with some of my coworkers a few years ago having drinks after work. All the girls were 10/10’s and our waitress had super blonde almost silver hair that looked really nice. One of my coworkers got a little too drunk and started hitting on her, which she handled well. She was probably used to it. He pulls her aside and loudly in front of all of us shouts at her “do you know what we call your hair color where I’m from? “F**k me blonde””. Without missing a beat she replies “do you know what we call your hair color where I’m from? “A*****e brown”” and walked away. We all died laughing and tipped her very well. He was cut off after that needless to say. I still think about this 6 years later 😂
133points
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