Have you ever laughed so hard at a joke that you knew was inappropriate but couldn’t help yourself? That’s the power of dark humor jokes, an art form that literary critics have associated with authors as early as the ancient Greeks! It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. But the point is, sometimes we need to laugh at the bad things life throws at us with a well-delivered dark joke, even though those around us may find it offensive.
So this is a call to all the dark comedy junkies out there! Are you tired of those lame vanilla jokes that could be good for a kid but not for your twisted sense of humor? Are you craving your daily fix of messed-up jokes? What a happy coincidence! You are in luck because today is the day we gather all the best dark humor jokes we fell in love with and share them with you. So let’s get started, shall we?
#1
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
unknown
Report157points
#2
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”?
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
unknown
Report142points
#3
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend."
Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
unknown
Report140points
#4
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
unknown
Report132points
#5
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face.
My parents are the worst.
My parents are the worst.
unknown
Report128points
#6
"Just say NO to drugs!"
Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
unknown
Report120points
#7
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
unknown
Report120points
#8
Wife: "I’m pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I’m dad."
Wife: "No, you’re not."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I’m dad."
Wife: "No, you’re not."
unknown
Report120points
#9
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87
unknown
Report119points
#10
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
unknown
Report116points
#11
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
unknown
Report116points
#12
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
unknown
Report114points
#13
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around”.
She is not “fun to be around”.
unknown
Report114points
#14
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Except at a funeral.
unknown
Report102points
#15
My son, who's into astronomy, asked me how stars die.
"Usually an overdose, son", I told him.
"Usually an overdose, son", I told him.
unknown
Report99points
#16
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Dad: “Call me George.”
unknown
Report97points
#17
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
unknown
Report93points
#18
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
They kill people.
unknown
Report93points
#19
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
unknown
Report92points
#20
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”
unknown
Report92points