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Top-level athletes, established business people and basically all successful people have one thing in common—they all set goals. Then, of course, they worked really hard, failed plenty of times, went bankrupt, started believing in themselves again, and little by little, they made progress. That progress turned into achievements that end up on popular media, creating a false impression that they were either born this way or were lucky. While that’s the case for some successful people, others work really hard to get to that goal, whatever that is.
In order to find out why setting goals for ourselves, both big and small, is so important and how it can change our lives, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“Even though I spend a lot of time encouraging others to be mindful in the moment, it's still important to set goals and plan for our future,” Susan said and added that “even a Buddhist Monk has to plan out his garden, right?” According to her, the idea is to enjoy and focus on the experience while we're doing it.
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“The key framework for determining how we should behave has 3 legs: Values, spiritual beliefs, and purpose. When we decide what our purpose is for the current stage of our life, it helps to create some goals so we can be super effective at staying true to that purpose.”
“For example, if you feel that your purpose at this point in your life is to be supportive to abused children, exactly what does that look like? How can you accomplish that? By setting goals,” Susan explained. In this case, you might want to take some classes in social work, or join forces with an organization that needs help, or teach parents how to manage their stress and anger.
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“Another reason goals are important is that they provide us with motivation and direction. You're forced to get up and do something because you have this goal. It also helps you focus your attention on the things that are important to you, by asking yourself, ‘Is this going to get me closer to my goal?’” Susan believes that if your answer is “no,” then you just don’t do it.
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Moreover, it's super frustrating to feel like you just exist. “But if we have a reason to be doing what we're doing, goals (as we were just saying before) provide motivation. It's great when we can say to ourselves, "I have a reason to be here! Look what I'm doing!’” Susan explained that “having goals provides some existential validation (the reason you're here in the first place) and builds self-confidence and self-esteem, too!”
Few things in life are more satisfying than saying to yourself ‘Look at the great job I did! I'm so proud of myself for accomplishing this!’
On the other hand, Susan reminds everyone that even if you fail and don't achieve your goal, you can still turn it into a self-confidence booster. “Maybe I didn't get there this time, but I know what I did wrong. And I'm a bad-ass for working so hard!” It always feels good to have a goal and work toward it. And isn't that what we all want—to feel good?
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