From old times, being able to grow a beard has been attributed to high testosterone levels, strength, and masculinity, aka the "manly" traits. However, while high testosterone can positively affect beard growth, the absence of it doesn't necessarily signal low testosterone levels. In fact, the most common reason why some men can't grow a voluminous beard lies in, you guessed right, genetics.
So if you are a guy worrying about not being able to grow a beard, don't stress about it. In fact, while some studies found that women are more attracted to hirsute men, others found that women preferred the clean-shaven look. Altogether, the results of these studies are often 1:1, equally favoring the bearded and clean-shaven faces. Thus, if going into this post, you initially thought that the subjects of these beard jokes would be beardless men, you were wrong. While some may believe that cracking you can't grow a beard jokes to someone's face is funny, it's really not.
Whether you have a luscious beard or rock the clean-shaven look, funny beard jokes can be enjoyed by anyone, hirsute or not. Below, we've compiled plenty of facial hair jokes, shaving jokes, barber puns, and funny jokes about mustaches that shouldn't be cut off from your funny jokes bank. Do you know of any more funny facial hair jokes? Found a particular beard joke hair-larious? Let us know!
#1

What was the bearded hipster’s least favorite basketball team?
The Los Angeles Clippers.
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#2
Why did the bearded man’s shaving product business flop?
Because of the razor-thin margins.
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#3
Why did the unlucky bearded man shave?
Because fortune favors the shave.
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#4

Why did the bearded thief shave before robbing a bank?
Because he wanted to be a smooth criminal.
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#5
Why did the bearded man’s phone not unlock on seeing his face? Because it just wasn’t him anymore!
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#6
Why didn't the barber ask the question about beards?
Because he was shaving it for later!
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#7

Why couldn’t the man with a thick beard figure out the cause of his itchy beard?
Because he couldn’t get to the root of it.
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#8
Why do British not like long beards?
Because they hate the Vikings.
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#9
What did the fancy bearded goat order at the café?
A Goa-tea.
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#10

How many bearded men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to actually do the job, and nine others to compliment each other’s beards.
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#11
Where does a beard stylist buy his grooming products?
At a Shaven Eleven.
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#12
Facial hair that is only located under the lower lip is called a soul patch. Facial hair that only grows in spots on the neck is known as pitiful.
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#13

What hairstyle did the goose get?
A ducktail!
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#14
What did the barber serve at his party?
Barber-que.
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#15
Why was the hipster avoiding his social circle after going to the barber?
Because he was shaving face.
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#16

What happened when my friend kept bragging about his stubble?
I just couldn’t bear-d him anymore!
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#17
Why did the man sue the barber for touching his beard?
He saw it as hairassment.
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#18
What do you say when a barber has a good annual income?
We can say it has been good hair for him!
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#19

What was the catchphrase of the barber’s shop?
“Any time, Anyplace, Any hair!”
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#20
Why was the man annoyed at his friend who was making fun of his facial hair?
Because it was a side-burn.
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