53 Things Bartenders Overheard That They Wish They Could Forget

Happened a long time ago but saw a man and a woman on what I assumed was a first date. About an hour after arrival she finished a drink and was shortly after completely unconscious.

When asked if she was ok, The man said she “must be tired” and said he was going to take her home. Realising she wasn’t waking, an ambulance was called followed by the police. He tried to make a prompt escape through the fire exit and was blocked by a member of staff.

She got taken away by the ambulance, him in the police car. Horrible to think what could have happened.

The ex-wife and (adult) son of one of our regulars came in one time. They got pretty sloshed, and started slow dancing. Bear in mind nobody dances at this pub, it’s not that kind of vibe.

The vibe they gave off was unsettling, too romantic for mother and son. Everybody was uncomfortable. Then they started kissing. Not a polite little smooch of an adoring and tipsy mom on her beloved son, KISSING.

That’s when I busted it up, told them they needed to leave and zeroed their tab just to get them the hell out of there.

Everybody knew the guy whose ex and son they were. We all felt extra extra uncomfortable because we knew him. It was, hands down, the ickiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

I don’t know if anyone told our regular (and friend) but I didn’t. Jesus how do you even broach that topic. I kind of assumed he knew at least something was amiss there, and it might have been a cause of their divorce. Anyway frick that, I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.

EWWW.

Info: Some commenters were assuming step-mom. No, it was mother-son, biological.

I was a waiter but I was working behind a diner counter a lot of the time. Close enough to a bar? I have two awkward stories I'll never forget:

-Guy who brought a script along to a first date and made his reluctant date run lines with him (he was not very good), then talked for far too long about the nuances of his great performance while the date sat there silently nodding. Sir do you think this is a flex

-Pair of teens, one of them was sobbing over being dumped. Her friend said "don't cry you're too hot to be sad!" and tried to kiss her while she leaned away in horror and disgust. My skin crawls with secondhand embarrassment whenever I think about it. Sir....

Not a bartender, but overheard a couple on a blind date realizing about 20 minutes in that they shared the same dad. He apparently had a secret second family two towns over. The absolute silence that followed was the loudest thing I've ever heard.

A couple both admitted to cheating. Turns out both cheated with the same dude.

It was all I could do to make up busy - work near them to be able to hear it all play out.

Guy lamenting how hes the Boss in the house, when she honked outside to pick him up and he nearly jumped of the chair, tipped way to high bc couldn't wait for change and stormed out of my pub.

I work in a very busy family restaurant. On Friday nights, there is usually a long wait at dinner time, and the bar area gets super crowded.

So we’re three deep at the bar on a Friday night when these middle aged parents decide to stage a financial intervention with their early 20s daughter. She gets very upset at the news that she is being cut off and is essentially bawling her eyes out. At the bar. The very crowded bar.

I mean, Jesus people. At least do that at a table. Why they felt the need to tell her something so upsetting in the middle of a huge crowd is beyond me.

Bartending at this corporate afternoon network function. Lady signals she wants another glass of wine…

Woman A: I really shouldn’t be drinking wine.

Woman B: (pointing to her tummy) because of the baby?

Woman A: I’M NOT PREGNANT! How dare you…

Was taking the order of 2 people, he received a phone call from “friends” accidentally sitting near them. He showed his ringing phone to his wife, she nodded no. Those 2 friends saw it, i saw it, awkward.

Christmas Eve, couple sat at the bar just slowly realizing over about 90 minutes that they should just get a divorce. Sad, not angry. Absolute nightmare to navigate and work around.

Co-worker was sleeping around on her new husband. Two of the guys she was seeing came in at the same time and both started making plans with her. She didn’t know what to do and it was awkward af. They were sitting across from each other (we have a horseshoe bar) and talking softly. I was backing that night so got to hear most of it from both of them. One of the guys was her husband’s fishing and hunting buddy.

A married couple came in when I was working the bar. As a bartender tends to do, we got to chatting and I learned that she was also Brazilian so we began speaking in Portuguese and getting to know each other…very quickly the conversation turned into complaining about her husband (she’s lonely, he didn’t take her anywhere, she wanted to go on a vacation etc.) and she starts full out CRYING in the middle of dinner. I tried to calm her, but they cashed out shortly after and I never saw them again even though they said they lived across the street. I hope she got her vacation.

Once watched a first date where a gentleman was quite animated. At one point, he wanted to show his date a dance he and his friend had made up when they were kids to “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me”by Culture Club. He’d show his part then when his friend would come in and he do that part.

He was eccentric to say the least, but the dance routine was the most memorable. His date went from visibly embarrassed to actively asking him to sit down, lower his voice, and please stay seated.

His date’s friend was at a table in the restaurant watching and was apparently posting on Twitter, what was going on as well as texting to a friend group. She was also quite loudly laughing at some parts.

I had a couple leave an extensive S&M contract behind on the table. It was 20+ pages.

Slow night. A man is sitting at my bar looking quite sad, staring into his beer. Next to him is a woman who can’t stop riling him up. “You can’t let this happen to you, you gotta go home and take control, be a man, what are you doing here, go and show her what you’re made of, be a man, show up and do something about it…”

Turns out his wife wanted to live out her sapphic fantasies with the neighbor. Tonight was the night, and he was not invited.

After about an hour of this he finally gets up, looks at me and says “I’m gonna go home and show them what I’m worth” with the least conviction I have ever seen anyone say anything. The woman stays for another five minutes tapping her fingers on the bar until she finally says “I think I drove him here” and leaves too.

I never saw them again.

Two ladies with Northern U.S. or Canadian accents. I heard "Yeah sure, you can get rid of a body in a woodchipper. You just gotta Freeze it real good first".

These kids (probably around 12 years old) on their first date. The boys mom brought them to the restaurant and planned on sitting at the bar to give them alone time.

The boy wouldn't let her leave the table. The girl and the mom kept hinting at how fun it would for them to be alone and how the mom probably didn't want to sit there during the date. The mom tried to leave and the boy literally grabbed her by the hand and wouldn't let go.

Having your mom be the 3rd wheel on your date was just as awkward as it sounds. The mom came back and became kind of a regular because she liked the food. She told me the girl dumped him after that and it wasn't pretty.

Witnessed a famous actress in her home country have a glass of red wine throw in her face by her partner. He stormed off and it was uncomfortable AF for everyone in the entire restaurant. I tried to help her with a towel and offered to escort her to the restroom but she refused, sitting there with red wine all over her for about 15 minutes before she asked for the bill.

Edit: Also offered to call someone or the police. She declined.

My most awkward was sad.

One of the men only had a couple months left to live. Had aggressive cancer. Super awkward as a bartender. Wanted the dude to have a good time, would have given him free drinks, but I assume that wouldn't have been good for him either. You want to be friendly and fun but the vibe was just sad and humble. You don't want seem like your being a pity party either. They are out trying to enjoy the last of their time, but it was a sad last bro hurrah. But as your out celebrating your passing friends life, the interactions all seemed awkward. I forgot to ring up a bunch of their drinks. I really didn't know how to interact with a group. So I was just friendly.

Hope the dude had a good run. Seemed like a super nice guy.

Won’t say who the celebrity was, since she was a young kid at the time. Serving and get a note I have a VIP and need to roll out all the red carpet things. I worked at a really nice hotel in Santa Barbara, ca. during college.

When I went to greet them, the little celebrity is bawling her eyes out. Her parents brought her there to tell her they were divorcing. She was begging them not to.

Awkward, and just sad.

Happy to tell stories about other celebrities for those interested…but thank you for not asking who this was.